Melancholy Reminisce

A KevEdd fanfic

By CrumbledCandyWrapper


Man, those sprints killed me…

…I should have left at that very second…

Yeah, coach seemed kind of peeved about something.

…Left everything I ever felt about you and just walked away…

You were smacking the shit outta the balls today, dude.

If only I'd had the insight… Known what horrendous things you'd allow them to utter at my expense…

Thanks…

It was only a day or so…

Maybe not even a full 24 hours yet…

How'd I allow myself to become so enthralled by your diction?

The smoothness of your words that had me sweating puddles and commanded my attention…

The supple traces of your lips, pressed against mine for what felt like eternity, taking my breath away with each pull, push, bit and nibble…

That warm, inviting touch, causing me to react in quivers- engendering me into doubting the very threads of reality and question if it was all just a dream…

The lies behind it all that had me in tears…

So, how'd the little date go? Did he do it, Mark?

Hell yeah, he did! Saw it with my own eyes!

No way!

Man, you're nasty!

"Date…"

My heart nearly sang at the word when he'd used it. Just thinking that you might've told your friends about us, used that word to describe our night and just know in the end that they'd all be okay with it…

But "nasty"? That wasn't precisely the word I would have ventured towards.

Maybe "unexpected"… even a little surrealistic…

However our…date…was nothing along the lines of disgusting.

…At least then it wasn't…

I guess a bet's a bet, guys. Better cough up.

I couldn't believe it. Mostly because I didn't think I heard it…

That couldn't have come from Kevin's mouth… Could it?

"A bet's a bet?"

What exactly did you mean by that?

Shit, I didn't think you'd actually do it, Kev. I bet he loved it. He looks like a little fag!

My eyes watered; they almost welled over at such a derogatory term.

It hurt, yes, but I expected you'd be roused to defend me.

Like you did on Saturday night…

How you told me that I wasn't as "obnoxious" as the others.

How you believed that we might've actually been really good friends had things gone a little differently.

Hearing you say all those things somehow made me believe that you'd be the one to make it all stop… make them apologize and take it all back.

Make Mark regret that he'd ever even called me a—

Whatever, dude…

…That's all you said…

Just hand it over…

…And I was speechless…

Ten bucks, right?

Yeah…

What was I hearing at that moment?

What was I hearing?

Surely you didn't believe that our time at the movies together,

the time that was so innocent and brand-new to me,

was worth a meager ten dollars?

Right…?


When I was absolutely positive I'd heard the crumbling of the bill in your palm, I ran. Mark and another teammate brushed into me, just as shocked as you were in the face-maybe even a little more. All I can recollect from the moment was me tumbling over in a heap, and the spider I'd been carrying running loose somewhere unknown to me in the locker room. I watched it for only a second, not caring how I looked to the rest of you. It took all I had to stand and steady myself into another full out sprint. It was the fastest I'd ever run in my life. Air pleaded to enter my untrained respiratory tracts but my legs whipped over the earth with no plans to steady. My eyes hissed in pain from the dampened air and my salted tears reminded me I'd been crying for a considerably long while.

It had been a dare.

A bet, even.

None of it had even been sincere. Of course not. I was foolish to even think it was. It never could have been anything more than a joke. A choked sob escaped me, and as I darted towards the cul-de-sac, I covered my mouth with one hand. So many thoughts raced through my head at that moment, but everything only lead back to the one horrible truth I'd been trying to ignore: you haven't changed, Kevin… You haven't changed at all.

My heartache eased momentarily when I made out the likeness of my house coming up over the horizon line not too much further. I swear I heard someone call for me. Calling me by my old nickname, even. That, I could tell, was audible enough. I couldn't immediately place the voice, even as my head snapped in the direction of the yell. Over the heavy roars of a nicely manufactured motorcycle, came the source of my sorrow.

Insult to injury. Was I not even allowed to sulk in the sanctity of my own adobe? Would you really take even that from me? My heart must not have been enough for you. Tarnishing the respect I'd given you was just an appetizer. There was definitely more damage to be done. Maybe your engines blared towards me then as a warning. Your ten dollar acquirement wasn't enough and you came to make sure I'd keep what happened last Saturday night between us. Your teammates already knew it was a -bet- but it would take more for me to remain silent.

Realization had set in almost too quickly. In order for me to stay quiet, you knew it'd have to be a physical threat. One that left a mark so I could look to it as a sickening reminder of my ignorance. So you climbed onto your bike, probably telling your teammates all about the twisted things you'd have done before you returned, and you started after me. My throat clenched tighter as yet another choked cry escaped me. The fear these thoughts sent into my brain shot spasms of adrenaline through me that I could've never managed to accumulate on my own. By the time you rounded the curve, I was already harnessing this newfound energy into my best sprint in order to escape you.

I met the door to my house in a half-hearted embrace as I pushed it open and slinked my way inside. I noticed you pulling in from the corner of my eye and my pupils dilated in arduous terror. Seeing you face-to-face was similar to death itself. As comforting as dying seemed after everything that occurred, I didn't want my demise to stem from my failure to differentiate fact from fiction. How would I explain that?

'A fool who never experienced love falling into the vices of an athletic redhead, all because of one immature bet'…?

The media would milk that for every nickel and dime. Surely my parents wouldn't be too happy? And what about the school officials and personnel? My death wouldn't have been astronomical, but a lot of Peach Creek Highs' clubs and organizations would fall apart at the seams due to my absence.

Maybe it was that small fact or just pure luck, but I managed to simply turn the knob to the door and fell limply on the floor inside. Realizing the door may have still been open, I used my last bit of strength to run up to it and shut it with extreme vigor. By that time, you had long since retreated from your motorcycle, not even worrying that you left the kickstand up. You managed to catch the door just as it closed and I locked at least three different hinges in place behind it, even going as far as securing the broken latch of an old broken lock in place just so I felt a little better.

Suffice it to say it did nothing to quiet my mind. I stared at the white oak door, taking a step backwards and jumping at the sound of pounding not seconds later.

Double D, open the door!

I swallowed hard, wrapping my arms around myself. I'd nearly peed myself, I was so scared. Now you were demanding me? Where did that sweet, genuine tone and those longing sea green eyes from Saturday go off to all of the sudden? Was it just so dangerously bad for me to wish he'd come back for just one last conversation? A goodbye, maybe?

Of course it would be. That Kevin's just a ruse. A ploy deviated to win my trust and manipulate my heart. Your sweet nothings were just that, Kevin: sweet, empty nothings. It wasn't hard for me at that point to just turn my head to rest it against the cool blue wall beside me and weep to my own accord. A frustrated groan came from the other side of the door. I could tell it was you, giving up.

C'mon, please?

I shrank into myself at your voice, remaining silent. Curse you and those acid words escaping from such a seemingly angelic façade. It was another fifteen minutes before it grew quiet. My eyes puffy and dry of any more moisture, I retreated upstairs to take a long shower. My parents never came home, and I quite honestly couldn't bring myself to care very much.

But now, here I am, showered, dressed in pajamas and just wondering how it all came to this point. My head now aches a throbbing migraine that no amount of ibuprofen's could remedy right now, and I wouldn't rouse myself to retrieve them if I wanted to.

Honestly, Eddward…

How could you let yourself slip into this mess…?

Ten bucks, right?

Yeah…

That was all it took. A ten dollar bribe and a kiss that probably meant less. Everything felt so wrong at the wrong time in the wrong place. And I find myself, contemplating who I double-crossed to have karma attack me like it has.

Whoever it is, or was, I'd have surely gone out of my way to apologize because- quite frankly, I wouldn't wish this type of debilitating stress on my worst enemy…

Not even Kevin…