I just figured I would tell you that I will be putting this story on hiatus until further notice. I'm sorry to do that but I just can't find the right words to finish this chapter. It will be the last chapter but I just can't figure it out. I will finish the sex scene and then it may be the end of it. But here's what I have so far. I'm so sorry to dissapoint you so much.

Nick shoved Ellis into the room, this was the first night since they had expressed their feelings for each other that Ellis or Nick weren't hurt. Nick was done waiting for this. He shoved Ellis onto the bed, not caring about the fact that Coach and Rochelle were in the other room trying to sleep. He shut the voice out of his head as hard as he could. But no matter what he kept hearing that velvet soft, sexy voice. Are you going to think about me the entire time you have sex with him? If you do that just means you want sex. But Nick didn't want sex, he just wanted Ellis. Nick looked into the hick's crystal blue eyes. He shoved his lips up against the boys, and Ellis responded by wrapping his arms around the conman's neck.

"Nick," Ellis murmured in between kisses. Nick broke the kiss and looked at the hick, only it wasn't Ellis he was seeing, it was Vera. "What's wrong?" Vera clicked her head to the side, her face pale, her eyes bulging out of her head, the blonde hair that he had come to love was wet and sprawled about. She opened her mouth as if to say something but only water came out. Nick's eyes widened. He instantly got up and turned off the bed. His face in his hands.

"I killed her," Nick murmured, trying to put his thoughts together. He stood up and paced around the room. "I, I didn-"

"Nick, what is wrong?" Ellis spoke louder, standing up to stand in front of Nick. He grabbed Nick's shoulders, trying his best to look into Nick's eyes. "Who did you kill?"

"Vera," Nick's face broke. "Oh god I killed her, she was, dammit!" Nick pushed Ellis away and turned away from him. "I, I didn't even have a funeral for her. Did you know that?" Nick turned to face Ellis. "All I did was bury her with the rest of the crooks I had been killing, like she was one of them."

"Nick, who is Vera?" Ellis said again, grabbing Nick's hand. Nick looked down at the boy, taking in his dazzling blue eyes. The ones that made him breathless from the get go. He ponders if he should tell Ellis who she was. To tell him that she was this amazing girl, that she was perfect in every form of the word. That she died because of Nick's recklessness. That she died because he was a fool. "Nick, tell me."

"Vera was," Nick thought of how to describe her. Should he say that she was perfect and that he had loved her with all his might, that he almost quit the family business for her? Should he tell the kid that he got her killed because he decided to leave her home alone for once, thinking no one was after him."Vera was a girl who used to be mine." But then you got careless and got me killed. "Nick sat down on the bed and Ellis sat next to him, still grasping Nick's hand. "She was beautiful and perfect. I met her when I was on a job." And you fell in love and couldn't keep your hands off of me. "I really liked her, we moved in together, had a lot of fun, but I was still in the business and I couldn't tell her about what I really did. I went to do a job one day, not thinking anyone could follow my tracks but I was wrong. The second I got back to the house I knew something was wrong." Nick down at his hands that were intertwined with the hick's. "She used to greet me at the door the second she heard the door opening, and when I came home that night she didn't." Nick could feel tears brimming his eyes, but he didn't dare cry. "She was taking a bath, getting ready for our date of the evening, she probably didn't hear the crooks come in when they did and she ended up being drowned in the tub." Nick looked at Ellis, his eyes brimming with tears. "If I had just given up on the money, she would still be alive."

"Nick," Ellis whispered, touching the conman's cheek. "What happened to Vera is not your fault. Just because you left her alone and were in the business doesn't mean they wouldn't have came after her even if you left. If you had been there you would probably be gone too." Ellis leaned in and touched the conman's lips with his own. The gesture made Nick's body flare on fire, to momentarily forget the fact that he was just talking about the one woman he ever let into his life. The hick licked the conman's lips while moving his hand to grab tuffs of Nick's hair. Nick wrapped his arms around the boy, letting their tongues intertwine and play with each other. the hick moaned sofly against Nick, causing his mouth to vibrate. Nick broke the kiss, looking into Ellis' eyes. He didn't say anything, all he did was kiss Ellis' neck, and nibble on it slightly causing Ellis to arch his back and press his chest harder agasint the conman's. Nick pushed them down onto the bed so that he was hovering over top of the kid. He kissed him harder and let his hands explore the underneath of Ellis' shirt. His body was cold and still had days old bandages from the last time he had gotten hurt. Ellis broke the kiss and stared into Nick's brown lidded eyes. "Are you sure you want to do this?" Ellis whispered as Nick pinched one of his nipples, causing Ellis to let out a small squeak.

"Of course I am," Nick murmured moving his hands to lift up Ellis' shirt. His stared at the boy's chest, mesmerized by a the bruises and scars that now etched his body. He pulled off Ellis' shirt and kissed the somehow soft flesh. Ellis moaned slightly and ran his fingers through Nick's somewhat short hair.

To be continued.