Track 1:

Without Me (The FK Remix)

A parody of Eminem's "Without Me"

by Melissa Treglia

Two lady vamps go 'round the outside
'Round the outside, 'round the outside
(Vamp Guy: Chik chik bah, uh chika-chika chik chik bah!)
Two lady vamps go 'round the outside
'Round the outside, 'round the outside
(Vamp Guy: Chik chik bah, uh chika-chika chik chik bah!)
(Vamp Girl: Oooh...)

Fans:
Guess who's back
Back again
Nick is back
So tell a friend
Guess who's back
Guess who's back
Guess who's back
Guess who's back
Guess who's back
Guess who's back
Guess who's back
Nah...
Nah nah nah nah nah nah
Nah...
Nah nah nah nah!

I'm convinced I'm a monster
And I don't wanna kill mortals anymore
Nowadays I work on the police force
In order to repay society for my sins, of course
But... aw heck, it could always be worse!
I'm sure you're wondering how I got the bright idea
To end my old life as an ordinary mortal
To sell my soul to the devil
And become both a vampire and a rebel (Guy Fan: Hey!)
Lives, I've had more than several
Including as a bassist in a band playing heavy metal
But I'm sick of constantly relocating
All the packing and unpacking is so irritating
And my master won't let me be
Or let me be me, and I've tried to see
If I can escape his tyranny
But he seems not to like life without me
Anyway, let's start this hoedown
Dance to the music while I give you the lowdown
Now get ready
'Cos this is about to get heavy
Don't worry about the vamps in black suits
They just want to par-tay!

Now this looks like the time for me
To come back on SciFi TV
'Cos we need a little vampire chivalry
And the boob tube's empty without me
I said this looks like the time for me
To come back on SciFi TV
'Cos we need a little vampire chivalry
And the boob tube's empty without me

The air waves looked downright dull
All intelligence seemed to be void and null
My fans must've felt like prisoners, helpless
Till someone told the SciFi gurus to rock the set (Girl Fan: YES!)
With at least one program that makes you think
Instead of one that makes you drink
For years, my fans have asked and asked
Sent presents and basically kissed the ass
Of every single power that be to get me back
And with their e-mails, they did a sugar attack
And now I'm back, nah nah nah nah nah nah nah
Sitting on top of the TV world, so hah!
And I won't go away for at least 70 more eps
And my fans are sure to take care of the rest
Of inconsistances and controversies
I'm interesting
To them, I'm far better than wrestling
They say I'm cute but rather perplexing
Enforcing my own ideas of love and biting
(Girl Fan: But there's really no need)
But I don't whine about it - I like my dignity
You see, my ideas are all about chivalry
To help others you should strive to do
Even if you don't really want to

Now this looks like the time for me
To come back on SciFi TV
'Cos we need a little vampire chivalry
And the boob tube's empty without me
I said this looks like the time for me
To come back on SciFi TV
'Cos we need a little vampire chivalry
And the boob tube's empty without me

When people fight me, I really don't like it
Before they swing at me, I'll have them licked
Angel, you're gonna get your ass kicked
Little twerp stole my thunder, and yes I'm annoyed by it
And Buffy, she's just downright slutty
Swinging a stake and wearing supertight outfits
She's just annoying
Ever since she screwed Angel she became a whore
I don't want to see her on the screen anymore!
But anyway, I just gotta say
That every dog will have its day
And I'm far from finished with mine yet
(Random Guy: I don't think so) Sure, you wanna bet?
Why, you begin to ask?
I'm the key character in a cult classic
Well, this must mean I'm living la vida idolic
In a biz that plays to a certain demographic (Guy Fan: DAMN!)
Although I'm not the first vamp on TV
I am the best thing on the small screen
To do the good vamp role so convincingly
And, so doing, found *reel* immortality (Girl Fan: Yay!)
Here's a concept that works
20 million other good guy vamps emerge
But no matter how many fish are in the sea
It'll be so empty without me

Now this looks like the time for me
To come back on SciFi TV
'Cos we need a little vampire chivalry
And the boob tube's empty without me
I said this looks like the time for me
To come back on SciFi TV
'Cos we need a little vampire chivalry
And the boob tube's empty without me

Fans:
Nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah
Le le le le le
Le le le le le
Le le le le
Nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah
Le le le le le
Le le le le le
La la la la
Nick!