Chapter Track: Blue Moon – Moby
Edd and Kevin set aside the following Sunday for their plans. Edd purchases condoms and lubricant, which he stores in a new box labeled discreetly as Kevin. He inspects and tidies his bedroom, fitting his bed with fresh sheets and plugging an air freshener into an outlet across the room. He instructs Kevin to come around the back, though when he hears the knock at the sliding glass door downstairs, Edd about jumps out of his skin.
Despite a morning of meditation and preparation, the nerves still set his limbs tingling. When he opens the door, Kevin slips in, smiling. He pulls his red baseball hat off of his head and sets it on the kitchen table, running a hand through his hair. He lets out a breath and remarks, "It's snowing out there."
"I saw," Edd replies.
For a moment, they stare at each other, each one waiting for the other to make a move. Kevin, finally, makes it first. He leans into Edd's lips and tangles his big hands in Edd's dark hair. He tugs at it and Edd whimpers, biting down on Kevin's lower lip before he pulls back.
"You look nice," Kevin says.
Admittedly, Double D may have made more of an effort with his appearance. He ironed his jeans and a red button-up, and brushed his hair into a manageable fluff. He gnaws on his lip and replies, "Thank you…you too."
Kevin smells clean and is freshly-shaven. His shampoo smells tart but his the aroma of his soap is just like pine. Edd loves this scent, and leans down into Kevin's neck just to breathe it in and kiss the skin there. Though inevitably nervous, as one typically is with a new partner, Kevin's presence feels like a balm, his warmth and smell and the way his hands are stroking up and down Edd's spine – it makes him calmer, and surer that this is exactly what he would like to do with Kevin.
Kevin murmurs, "Do you have any fucking clue what I wanna do with you right now?"
"As we both are aware of this afternoon's agenda, I am fairly certain I am conscious of it, yes," Edd babbles.
Kevin grins, and the hands that stroked down his back lower down to his backside, where Kevin palms and squeezes. He tilts his head at the stairs and says, "C'mon, last one to your room is a rotten egg." He ducks and makes for the stairs.
Edd rushes after him and calls as he stomps up the staircase, "Please remember to take your shoes off, Kevin!"
When Edd enters his bedroom, panting, Kevin has dutifully left his converse beside the door, arranged neatly side by side. His boyish smile greets Double D, followed by a kiss, and he says, "Took you long enough, dork," and then more seriously, "Um – I've only ever done this stuff with girls, which you know…uh, yeah. I mean, I just. I don't know what I'm doing."
"That's quite all right," Edd reassures him (for what feels like at least the hundredth time), "Why don't you undress and lie down? I could perhaps – rub your shoulders, if that would help."
"That's real nice of you," Kevin says. He gets a twinkle in his eye, a sight that Edd has started to see a little more of whenever they're together. Perhaps it's just his mind pretending that Kevin could care for him as he has come to care for Kevin. But even if mutual affection is a fantasy, Edd doesn't think it will do him harm to indulge in it.
He watches Kevin removes his clothes, an act he's found to be impossibly erotic. The muscles of his back move under his skin as he pulls his shirt up over his head, dragon tattoo shifting, and his his long legs emerge from his jeans. When Kevin turns around, he reaches his hand into his boxers, touching himself with a filthy half-smile planted on his lips.
Edd's breath catches in his throat. He licks his lips and can't help but murmur, "You…are a perfect specimen."
"I appreciate that, Mad Scientist," Kevin says. He shifts his boxers down his hips and is then fully nude, body toned from his athletics, cock hard and flushed with blood, and that ridiculous smirk still plastered on his face. He winks at Edd before he lies on his bed, belly-down on the freshly laundered comforter.
And then Kevin watches Edd. He looks on as Edd undoes the buttons on his shirt one by one, and drapes it over the back of his desk chair. He starts to nibble on his lower lip when Edd slips out of his undershirt and folds it. And when Double D unbuttons his jeans and wiggles out of them, Kevin shifts on his side and reaches down to touch himself. Edd's throat goes dry, and his jeans pool on the carpet beneath his feet, forgotten.
He climbs on his bed and grips Kevin's wrist, tugging his hands away from himself. He says, "There'll be time enough for that later," and urges Kevin back onto his stomach. He straddles Kevin's back and presses his hands against his skin. Edd has read books on the art of massage, though seldom does he find a chance to utilize his knowledge. He kneads and presses and rolls, gentle with the still-recent ink over Kevin's shoulder blade. Below him, Kevin huffs and makes soft sounds of satisfaction.
"Now, Kevin," Edd says, "during one's first time receiving the, um –"
"Taking the dick," Kevin grunts, "It's cool, I know what I'm doing down here."
"Yes. Well. During the first time it's often painful and a man can lose his erection –"
"'Lose his erection'? You make it sound like my cock is gonna up and walk off my body," Kevin interrupts, again.
"Stop interrupting me," Edd snips, "Most men cannot maintain arousal during anal sex, so I'm going to make you come beforehand, is that acceptable? It will relax you."
"Mmkay," Kevin says.
Edd removes his hands from Kevin's hot skin and shifts them both. He instructs Kevin to sit on the edge of his mattress, and kneels between Kevin's legs on the floor. He grasps Kevin's hips in his long fingered hands, pressing kisses to the insides of his thighs. Right here, in this place between Kevin's legs, he has a scent distinctly his own, one that sets Double D on fire and makes him squirm with anticipation. A bead of precome shines at the head of Kevin's cock, and shyly he washes it away with his tongue. Kevin whines.
Kevin's hands find Edd's hair again, gripping hard enough for a little pain. The sensation excites Edd even more, and has him leaning into Kevin's erection to swallow down the head. He closes his eyes as he works Kevin down, relaxing his muscles and digging his nails into Kevin's sides. Kevin pulls up at Edd's long hair the further down that he presses his mouth. Edd whimpers around Kevin's cock.
Kevin thrusts up into his throat. Edd breathes harshly through his nose and guides Kevin into doing it again. For an instant, their eyes meet. Kevin looks as though he isn't sure he can do that again, and he stammers, "Are you – letting me fuck your mouth?"
Edd would nod were it not for his current position, so instead he blinks and hopes that his message gets across. Kevin grins and grips at Edd's hair, muttering, "You naughty shit," before he thrusts forward again. Edd clutches at him, moans muffled by Kevin's dick. He watches Kevin as he rocks his hips back and forth, in and out of Edd's mouth. His eyes are heavy-lidded, his lips parted, and every noise that emerges from his mouth is an accomplishment.
When Kevin whispers, "Fuuuck," Edd knows he can't wait to sink inside Kevin's body.
Kevin comes and Edd swallows. He smiles at Kevin when he pulls off of his cock. Kevin gives a hazy chuckle and a smile back. He stands and turns away, just long enough to take down his Kevin box and remove the contents required: the bottle of lubricant (anal specific, as Edd is nothing if not attentive to detail), and a single condom. He places these on the mattress beside Kevin, and presses a kiss to his lips before he orders him to turn on his stomach again.
"Do you want me to tell you what I'm doing and coach you through it?" asks Edd.
"I've seen some porn, I know what comes next," Kevin assures him.
"Well, if you need anything, or you need me to stop, please say so," Edd says. He runs his hands down Kevin's back and presses another few kisses to the same places before sitting back up and retrieving the lubricant. Edd removes the plastic wrapping around the cap and peels away the safety seal underneath it. When he pops the bottle open, he feels Kevin shiver beneath him.
Kevin says, "Don't fucking stop, asshole. I'll tell you if I want you to."
"You could do with being a little nicer to me, as I'm the one that's going to be inside you," Edd testily replies.
"Quit stalling," Kevin says back, and Edd sighs.
Double D coats his fingers with a generous helping of lubricant. He runs his clean hand over the curve of Kevin's ass. The man does have a fine backside – that cannot be denied. Carefully, he touches the tip of his finger to Kevin's entrance, and slides it in. Kevin exhales the breath he'd been holding in. It takes Edd only a matter of seconds to press against Kevin's prostate, and when he does, Kevin lets out a long, surprised moan.
"The fuck?" he says.
"If you paid attention in anatomy class, you'd know precisely what I did," Edd answers.
"Good to know you know what you're doing up there," Kevin says, only to have his breath catch when Edd presses over his prostate again.
"As if I'd ever be as ignorant as to agree to anything without doing my research first," Edd sniffs. He straightens his shoulders and pushes a second finger inside Kevin alongside the first. Kevin doesn't react, so Edd attends to him with slow, calculated touches. In and out with each inhale and exhale from Kevin's lungs.
After a few minutes, Kevin relaxes as he did before and reacts to the touch. He grips at Edd's pillow and encourages him to move his fingers faster, work them harder, touch him like that again. Only when Edd adds a third finger does Kevin flinch. He remarks, "Yeah, that's a bit of a tighter fucking fit, isn't it?"
"It is," Edd says, "I'll take it as slowly as you need me to."
But Kevin doesn't make him wait long. Soon Edd moves as he moved before. In his briefs his cock his hard as a diamond, and he knows Kevin can feel it against the back of his legs.
"Fuck me," Kevin finally says, "Do it. I'm ready. Go."
Edd blushes and says, "Be patient."
"Fuck patience, get in me, now," Kevin says.
Edd bites down a smile as he wiggles out of his underwear. He opens the condom packet, careful not to rip it, and rolls it over his erection. When he looks back to Kevin, he's watching Double D with eyes glazed and a dumb, happy smile stretching over his mouth. He comments, "You look real hot when you touch yourself like that, dork."
Edd rolls his eyes and pours lube over himself, slicking it into an even, slippery coating over the condom. He crawls up the bed and presses his hand against Kevin's shoulder –
Only to have Kevin stop him, "Wait."
"Yes?" Edd asks, and prays to any deity of any culture that Kevin isn't going to stop him entirely.
"Can I be on my back? Is that a thing?" he asks.
"I believe we can manage that," Edd replies, relieved, "You are an athlete. I imagine you're a little more flexible than most."
They shift. It's awkward, and they both fumble and hit each other and have to laugh their way through it, as Edd props Kevin's lower back up with his pillow, and situates each of Kevin's legs on his thin shoulders. It's interesting, with Edd so thin and Kevin's legs muscled from regular biking and participation in sports. He likes it. He has to apply a little more lubricant before he leans forward, and as the tip of his cock rubs up against Kevin, he knows that this is right.
Kevin is smiling at him when he begins to press inside him. It makes Edd's heart feel as though it's flipping through his chest, bouncing off his ribcage and wreaking havoc inside him. He wants to keep that smile, forever. But the grin melts as Edd moves deeper inside him, replaced by a little grimace of pain that increases with each movement.
"I'm all the way inside, now," Edd says, "I'll stay here until you want me to move."
Kevin gives a rapid nod and runs his hands through his red hair. He mutters, "You weren't kidding, man."
A silent moment passes between them, but it isn't long before Kevin says, "All right, go for it."
Edd slides back out and thrusts back in, with gentle, shallow ticks of his body. He isn't used to being on top, but he knows what he's liked to have boys do for him when he's being penetrated, and so he strives to be as considerate as he can. Kevin's brows are furrowed and his eyes shutter closed.
Edd's cock brushes against Kevin's prostate and he makes a loud noise.
"Holy shit, do that again," Kevin says.
Edd tucks his tongue in between his teeth and finds the correct angle to oblige him, slipping up against the sweet spot with each buck of his hips. Kevin starts to gasp and writhe beneath him, looking no longer quite as pained in horrible way and more like he's in wonderful, incredible pain. Around Edd's cock he's hot and tight. The sensation sends thrills and rapture through Edd's body. He feels his mind start to slow, his thoughts starting to kilter off as he pistons harder into Kevin.
"Oh," is what comes out of his mouth when he comes inside Kevin. He hangs his head and groans, dizzy with the power of the orgasm.
He doesn't look back up for several seconds. Kevin glistens with sweat underneath him. He's panting and pink in the cheeks.
"I am so glad I have a photographic memory," Edd says.
"Why – why's that?"
"Because I never want to forget looking at you like this," Edd replies.
With that, he pulls out of Kevin's body. Kevin releases a low whine and complains, "Fuckin' cold, now."
Edd only leaves long enough to discard the condom in his trash can. He returns to Kevin's side. Sleepiness sinks into him, all his energy sapped away. He feels his eyes getting heavy, and his breath begin to even out.
Until Kevin speaks, "Hey, c'mere."
"Just c'mere," Kevin says, and he rolls closer to Edd. Kevin presses his face against Edd's chest. His short, bright hair tickles against Edd's neck, and his breath beats against his skin softly. There, Kevin asks, "You all right?"
"Am I all right?" Edd echoes, disbelieving, "Are you all right?"
"M'good," Kevin answers, "Real good. Just making sure you're cool."
"I am," Edd says. He runs his fingers over Kevin's tattoo and over the back of his neck before wrapping his arms around him, cradling Kevin against him. He wishes his chest would stop hurting so much when he became this physically close to Kevin. He wishes he could trample the feeling into oblivion. But he cannot, and so he simply rests his chin on top of Kevin's head, and closes his eyes.
Edd doesn't even realize that he fell asleep until he jerks awake. The scent of sex still hangs in the air, and Kevin hasn't shifted from his place with his cheek against Edd's chest. His eyes open when he feels Edd move.
Sleepily, Kevin mumbles, "What time s'it."
Edd glances to his clock, "It's nearly seven."
"Mmph," expresses Kevin, "Can I stay."
"I'm watching the meteor shower tonight," responds Double D, "If you wish to watch it with me, I've no objection."
"Kay," Kevin sighs. He doesn't pull away from Edd for another couple of minutes. When he does, he stands and stretches. He yawns loudly before seeking out his clothes, his gait a little off when he walks. He complains, "I'm fucking sore. Next time we do that, I call top."
Edd laughs a little from the bed. He says, "I thought you were too nervous."
"I think I can figure it out," he replies, "Besides, you'll tell me if I fuck up. You like doing that, dork."
"I do take immeasurable pleasure in telling you when you've been stupid, yes," agrees Edd, and Kevin brandishes his middle finger.
Eventually Edd dresses. He chooses pajamas and treks downstairs in front of Kevin in his bunny slippers. He slips into the kitchen and fills his kettle.
"What are you doing?" asks Kevin, popping up from behind him. He wraps his arms around Edd's middle and kisses along the back of Edd's neck.
"Making hot chocolate," Edd says, "It's cold out, but I refuse to watch the meteor shower from a window."
While the water boils, he walks out onto the porch. A thin layer of snow covers everything, and the frigid air makes Edd shiver. Kevin emerges beside him, and after a second suggests, "If we put towels down we can sit on your porch swing together. You know, share body heat and stuff."
"That's not a bad idea," Edd says, and he sends Kevin to bring towels down from the linen closet upstairs while he tends to their hot cocoa and retrieves his coat from beside the front door. It's a cozy situation when they settle in. Each of them has a mug of cocoa in their grip, coats zipped and buttoned to their throats. Edd spreads a blanket across their laps and relaxes right against Kevin. He leans his head on Kevin's shoulder, wondering if that might be too much, but Kevin doesn't say anything.
"Did you see that?" Edd excitedly points to the streak of light that skids across the deep blue evening sky.
"Lovely!" Edd exclaims, "Fascinating. I never tire of watching the stars."
"I've never seen a shooting star before," Kevin says, "Well. I mean. Before this. They're – really cool."
"I'm proud to be here for this moment, then," Edd says, "I can e-mail you a website that lists when there will be meteor showers visible in the Peach Creek area, if you'd like."
At this Kevin's lips curl into a smile, and he looks away from Edd. He focuses his eyes on the mug in his hands and nurses the cocoa. He's quiet. Double D can't help but wonder what thoughts are running through Kevin's head, and almost asks before Kevin speaks again.
No dork, this time.
"I need to say something," Kevin says, and at last meets Edd's eyes again.
"By all means," Edd replies. His heart skips a beat and sudden worry floods him. Kevin could be terminating their arrangement. Perhaps he's been frightened by what they did. Even worse, what if he has grown tired of Double D?
"I like you," Kevin finishes, "Like, um. Like-like you. A lot. As in, feelings-like."
Edd feels his brows furrow. He doesn't know what to say, mainly because these words are not the words he expected from Kevin. He frowns, "That's not funny, Kevin."
"What's not funny? I'm vomiting emotions all over you. It's not funny at all," Kevin says back.
"You," Edd begins, "You're making a joke, right? It's not a particularly kind one, you know."
"I'm not joking, you thick-headed fuck," Kevin snaps, "I like you. I like every moment I spend with you. You piss me off and I love it, you make me come and I love it, you make me cocoa and take care of my tattoo and you drew the Batman symbol on my cast. You are so fucking cold sometimes, but when we're together it's like – I get to see something that other people don't."
"Double D, come on," Kevin says, "I'm fessing up to some important shit, here."
The blood rushes to Edd's face. He feels his hands shaking and before he can stop them he spills his half-drunk cocoa onto the blanket and the snow-coated porch. He curses, "Shit," and scrambles to clean up after himself. Edd takes the blanket and mug, thrusting open the sliding glass door and scurrying inside.
Kevin follows him. He doesn't say anything as Edd loads the blanket into the washer and pours detergent in with trembling hands, just folds his arms over his chest and looks on.
Finally, Edd rubs a hand over his face. A battle rages inside him, because if he admits that he feels as Kevin claims to feel for him, he relinquishes what little control he has over their situation. He waves goodbye to the tenuous grip on reality that he has and he'll – well, he'll have to trust Kevin.
What a dreadful thing to have to do.
"I-I have to admit I feel similarly," Edd finally whispers.
He takes a leap of faith. Edd has never liked acting on faith in place of reason, but the logical part of his mind seems to have wandered off, just for this occasion.
Kevin lets out a sigh and a laugh and says, "Goddamn, you scared me for a second. Can I kiss you?"
"Please," Edd says.
Kevin does so, wrapping his arms around Edd's back and pulling him in to deepen it. Edd would say that there's new feeling to the embrace, but he knows it felt this way before. He loops his arms around Kevin's neck and kisses back.
They pull their lips apart but don't let each other go. Edd holds onto Kevin like a raft adrift from a sinking ship, and Kevin runs his hands down Edd's back. He speaks again when Edd says nothing, "I was thinking, maybe this deal or whatever could be something else."
"Something else?" Edd repeats stupidly.
"Double D, you know what the fuck I'm talking about," Kevin says, "Like, uh. Um, a boyfriend something else. Or whatever. If that's cool with you."
"Boyfriend," Edd says.
"Yeah, man," Kevin says, "I mean, no pressure, but I'd really like that. I mean, we couldn't like, tell everybody about it. Or anybody. Except maybe Nazz, I dunno. But it's what I want and I've been sitting on this shit for a while so I'm asking you. To do that. Be my boyfriend."
Edd swallows every question that swells to his tongue: Why would you want to date me? Are you certain that you're ready for a relationship with a boy?
Instead, he concedes, "I…would like that, too."
As always, thank you to all my wonderful readers. A special thank you to all the amazing reviewers – you guys really encouraged me to get this written!