WARNING: contains Shounen ai (boyxboy), ooc-ness, mention of violence and probably bad grammar :I
NOTHING BELONGS TO ME!
I don't know if I hate or love you.
In the daytime, you treat me like shit. You beat me, call me names, belittle me, you even stabbed me once.
But in the dark of the night, when nobody is watching, it's like you turn into someone completely different. You hold me gently yet tight; as if you're afraid I might run away. You get possessive over me, in a way that seems scary, but I somehow find it adorable too.
That's why I love the night, because you're there with me and I don't have to fear for my life. When Rchi says we should stop and rest for the night because she's sleepy, that's when my heart starts to beat uncontrollably. Because I know it means you'll take down the mean act of your – or at least most of it – and show me the kinder side that you made me fall in love with. I never want the nights to end, because when I wake up I know won't be lying in your arms anymore. I know I'll get beaten and made fun of by the person who's so special to me. Does that make me a masochist? Going through all that pain, just to stay with you? I don't really care anymore; I just want to be close to you.
"What are you thinking about?"
Your rare calm voice drags me out of the trance and I shrug lightly, leaning back against your chest as I sit between your legs.
"Stuff… mostly us…" I mutter in response as I feel your arms wrap around me and pulls me closer.
Can't we just stay like this? Is that really too much to ask for? A little affection in the daylight instead of having to worry, about dying?
"Us?" you question, raising an eyebrow.
I nod a little. "This whole… day and night thing… I was just wondering which is the real you"
"oh…" Why do you sound so surprised? "I guess… they're both 'the real me'…" you murmur as you lean your head against mine.
This is so comfortable, why do I have to wait so long for this and only have it in a few hours.
"But I don't know if I can trust you! You keep punching me and hurting me, but then later you say you love me!" I say slightly louder, still trying to keep my voice down so Rchi won't wake up.
You don't answer, so I turn to look at you, giving a half-hearted glare that leaves as fast as it came. Why? Why do you have to look at me with those depressed eyes? I'm the one who should feel betrayed, this isn't fair!
I sigh in defeat and snuggle closer to your embrace, leaning my head on your shoulder as I close my eyes. A little while after, I feel your warm breath on my forehead, followed by your soft lips.
"I'm sorry, Alba" I hear you whisper before moving us to a lying position.
"Will you at least stay with me till morning?" I ask in a begging voice.
No answer. I know what that means and wrap my arms around your chest to get closer to you. You won't be with me when I wake up, you'll keep mocking me, hurting me both physically and mentally. I feel myself drift away dreamland, but I don't want to fall asleep! I want to stay awake so I can be with you like this! I don't want you to go while I'm asleep.
Your hand start rubbing soothing circles on my back, relaxing me more and more until I finally fall asleep.
And as I expected, I woke up alone. You might only be lying a few feet away, but you're not lying with me. And that is what hurts me the most.
Hello everyone =v=
how are you all?~
It's been a while since I last posted any fics :I
But here's something x3
Blargh~ I'll try and write more stuff at some point... I just need to get off my lazy ass OTL
feel free to leave a review for me, so I can improve and stuff :I