Fate Chaos and Plans – Chapter 23


"Weirdness in small amounts is good. Weirdness in large amounts is great."

Benjamin Strevens




And just like that, the fight was over. Although, calling it a 'fight' might've somewhat… charitable.

With all immediate threats dealt with, Neji decided that now was a perfectly suitable time to rest for a moment. He was absolutely not collapsing from exhaustion and was in no way whatsoever trying to pretend as if this were not the case. Really.

Gatō had been the first to drop out of the battle.

Gōzu, in deciding to drop all pretences, shunshin'd behind him and, instead of impaling him with extreme prejudice as one might expect, flickered away with him in tow. Neji, without an active Byakugan, could only theorize what was being done away from prying eyes such as his own. Then, he very decidedly stopped theorizing because chakra exhaustion had already taken him dangerously close to vomiting and he had a rather vivid imagination.

Lucky him that a distraction came in the form of the Uchiha of all people when he showed up with Inari and what looked like the entire village in tow. There was probably some kind of story behind that.

Of course by that point it was really just overkill. Between the hundreds of Narutos, tens of sensei and one of Zabuza (that was enough), the battle had already been decided, set in stone and mass produced for public consumption. Haku and himself picking off any stragglers that happened to wander in their direction merely served to hammer in the point.

Then again, Neji supposed. Perhaps the significance of joining the fray lies in their act of defiance rather that their worth in battle. Either that or Naruto's romanticism was simply rubbing off on him and now he had to give everything some kind of flowery connotation or… anyway. If wasn't like he cared. Just like he could totally get up right now if he wanted to. He definitely would not fall over.

Of course, when Inari showed up around twenty Naruto clones stopped and waved at him, which was sort of a surreal experience considering that they were in the middle of a pitched battle. But then, Naruto was becoming something of a surreal experience in of himself, so maybe he should just go with it.

Oh, and apparently Zabuza's sword could repair itself by feasting on the blood of its enemies, which was nice. Naruto, of course, had expressed his surprise in the most eloquent way possible:


"Its not a-" Haku began, but-

"OHMYGOD THATS WHY HE'S GOT ALL THOSE BANDAGES! TO HIDE THE FANGS!" Which was ridiculous notion considering that it was the sword that was the-WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME.

One of Naruto whirled round. "QUICK, SENSEI! HURRY AND USE A SUNLIGHT JUTSU!

"But Naruto… why do you think I wear this mask?", Sensei, who entirety too amused at his student's reaction, responded.


Zabuza's contribution -which came in the form of deep, menacing laughter- had not helped. At all.

And now.

"S'up" came a ridiculously upbeat greeting as one Naruto Uzumaki plopped himself down beside Neji. His smile, contagious and his chakra, irritatingly abundant.

"And what have you been doing?"

Naruto huffed. " Mr. I'mSoGreat Uchiha's still going through how the entire freaking village showed up in the middle of the battle with sensei."

"Ah" Apparently there was a story there.

But Neji couldn't hear it, because he'd passed out from exhaustion.






Really Short Chapter. Still No idea where any of this is really going. Kind of just wanted to write about vampire swords. I really should be working...

Its basically a crack-fic at this point at this point