Another Hayffie one-shot. AU. They live in California and Haymitch tries to teach Effie to drive.
Haymitch looked over at his brand new black Dodge, and then at his overly excited wife. Wife. Car. Car. Wife.
"Fine Effie... I'll teach you to drive." he sighs. His son, who is sitting on the porch swing shakes his head. Even at the meager age of 8, he knows this will never end well. Mickey sips from his milkshake, and Marigold plays with her dolls on the lawn.
"Son, if I don't make it home-"
"Emergency number is 911, call Auntie Katniss or Uncle Finnick is anything goes wrong, never never never trust Aunt Johanna with sticky situations." he recites.
"Good. And Mari if I don't make it home-"
"I have to listen to Mick, and be good until they figure out where you're at and what happened. Auntie Katniss will come take me to play with Peter and Kate at their house." she says.
"That's my girl. Alright Effie... get in the driver's seat." he says. Effie climbs behind the wheel. Haymitch gets into the passenger seat.
"Okay Effie. You're going to put the key in the car, strap in your seat belt, and put your foot on the gas."
"Which one is that...?"
"The small one. Okay. Now, put the car in reverse and slowly back out of the driveway." Haymitch instructs. She moves the gear to the big red R and slowly presses onto the Gas. Except, Effie has an iron foot and the car backs right out into the street.
"Okay, now but it in Drive."
"Alright Haymitch! You don't have to talk to me like I'm Mari." she says, and puts the car in drive. She turns the wheel and they face the street.
"Now drive Effie." Haymitch sighs in relief. They manage to get about 5 inches before she drives into a pole.
"GOD DAMMIT!" Haymitch shouts, leaving the car to check the damage. The front is totaled, but the rest of the car is okay.
"Okay Effs. I'll just drive us back home and we can try another time-"
"I CAN'T DO ANYTHING RIGHT! I'M JUST A WHINY STUPID CALIFORNIA BIMBO!" Effie whines. Haymitch would take offense to this, but he was from New York, why should he take office.
"Ii's alright Effie. We'll try again tomorrow." he assures. Effie sighs and climbs into the passenger seat.
"How about we get the kids and go for icecream?" Haymitch suggests, and she nods. When they arrive back at the house, Mick is rolling on the floor in laughter.
"We saw it all. Mom you're a terrible driver!" he gasps. Mari just stands and wraps her arms around her mothers leg.
"It's okay mommy. Daddy will teach you again." she says. She turns her grey eyes onto her father, her auburn pigtails swinging with her. Mick runs up to them, and Haymitch runs his fingers through his sons dark hair. He looks up and Haymitch stares into his blue eyes.
"Yeah. I'll teach her again. Who wants icecream?" he asks, and the kids jump into the car excitedly. Haymitch sighs and the couple climb in.
"I'm sorry Effs."
"It's okay Haymitch. I love you." she says. He kisses her gently on the lips.
"Ewwww!" sounds from the back seat and he chuckles.
"Love you too honey."