Briar: Woot and update. so I was originally gonna post it on friday, my day off but you guys are lucky. My room is clean and smells wonderful but I hurt my neck at work and I'm a cashier T_T too sad. Though I think one lady noticed and she was nice enough to pick up her 24 case of water for me to use a hand scanner instead of picking it up and dragging it over.
Ichigo was staring at Grimmjow and he had been doing so for some time. How could Grimmjow get cat ears? What did they look like? Were they the color of his hair, black or something feline like. It was strange and it had been bugging Ichigo for some time. There were moments he would look at Grimmjow and blush then look down and others he would stare at his features and notice his more prominent chin and angular jaw. His eyes weren't just cyan and if you were close enough you could see tints of azure and ones that were as bright as the sky. When Ichigo's view went downwards he noticed the burn mark barely revealing itself due to Grimmjow's v-neck and it made Ichigo wonder where it came from. However, he knew Grimmjow might not reveal so much since they were essential strangers and knew next to nothing about each other. All Ichigo knew was Grimmjow was a science experiement from Aizen, his name was Grimmjow, Grimmjow saved him and he didn't care that Ichigo was pregnant with his ex-boss' child.
When Ichigo stared at the blankets while blushing red, he saw Grimmjow's hand and he was half tempted to grab it. The twins decided it was time for them to make their presence known and kicked Ichigo happily at the thought of Grimmjow touching Ichigo's very pregnant belly. Ichigo's hand twitched as he was half tempted to do what the twins wanted but at the same time he felt bad for it since Grimmjow didn't seem like a child orientated person; being a gang leader didn't help either. There were pros and cons for Ichigo's actions and he was seeing more cons: One, Grimmjow get mad at him. Two, Grimmjow pushed him away from the physical contact. Three, Grimmjow would just kick Ichigo out and tell him he didn't feel comfortable touching Ichigo's belly. The pro's were nice too: One, Grimmjow would not pull away and would actually keep his hand there. Two, Grimmjow could pull Ichigo into his arms and hold him comfortably, which Ichigo didn't see happening anytime soon or three, Grimmjow might kiss him. Ichigo had just stopped blushing and now the red stain was back on his face making him nervous to be around Grimmjow.
Ichigo's hands were clammy and sweat began to form on his forehead as well as his heartbeat accelerating. Why was he acting like this? Ichigo felt like some love sick teenage school girl instead of a teenage male. Ichigo didn't like men...Well, Grimmjow might be an exception but Ichigo wasn't too sure he'd be able to actually do anything with Grimmjow. Ichigo wasn't the same person he was six months ago and there was no changing it. He became more reserve and more often than not his senses were dulled and he forgot how to feel emotions so the fact he was acting like a girl who had a crush on a boy was confusing; emotions were confusing. Sometimes he didn't even feel like he was in his own body and he was just floating away and other times he was grounded and he didn't understand his feelings. On the exterior, Ichigo appeared to be living a normal life style like the rape hadn't happen and that there was no evidence or it except the pregnancy. Yet, there were times Ichigo would be restless and lay in bed for hours contemplating about the events that lead to his rape: How did it happen? Why did it happen? Why him? What was so special about him? He was normal and just Kurosaki Ichigo. Ichigo was still terrified to sleep at nights because of the night terrors that brought him back to reality in a pool of his own sweat. Could he really love again? Could he seriously give Grimmjow the attention he needed? Ichigo was unsure of himself.
Fuck it! What do the kids say now a days? Yolo? Yeah. Yolo!
Ichigo took Grimmjow's hand and pressed the callous hand on his pregnant stomach, however, he wasn't surprised when the twins kicked at the new hand touching them. Ichigo felt as they moved around in his belly which meant that they liked him. Ichigo smiled at his stomach and even manifested the nerve to look up and meet Grimmjow's eyes. There was no hate or anger but pure awe as the children reacted to Grimmjow's touch.
"They like me?" Grimmjow asked in confusion.
Ichigo nodded his head and smiled at the confusion in Grimmjow's voice; Ichigo's smile was genuine. It was the first time Ichigo really felt alive and it was surprising but also nice. It proved he wasn't emotionless and that he might be able to move on from the torture Aizen had given him. The man was going to be locked away for a long time and there would be no way that Ichigo would have to fear him since he might even get the death penalty. Then once and for all Ichigo wouldn't have to worry about him and try to live his life with Xander and Nova.
It would be a long shot, but maybe Ichigo could even fall in love. Yet, there was a little voice in his head saying it was never possible. To be with a man wasn't possible since he was afraid of new people. Being with a woman? No, it wasn't possible since Ichigo saw most woman like his sisters and that was wrong. He did know that some woman were attractive but Ichigo didn't believe he could actually be able to be with a woman after what he was going through right now. A woman might feel threatened that he had birthed Xander and Nova which made him hesitant. what if the twins didn't like Grimmjow? Then there was no point in pursuing a relationship. Sure, in the womb they liked him but what if Grimmjow changed afterwards. It happened to woman all the time. Meet a nice man, marry him or date him and then after awhile the woman might slip up and he'd beat her for a simple human mistake. What if Grimmjow was like that? Ichigo didn't want a relationship like that at all.
Ichigo wasn't able to cope with the rape like some victims would; no alcohol, cigarettes, perscription drugs. The sharp objects were locked up and the only mirrors were in the living room. People might think it cruel but there was some days that Ichigo wanted to smash his fist in that mirror and cut his wrist until he bled out to death. In captivity, he wanted to egg on the guards so they bashed his face in so he could feel something else than the numbness he experienced.
In the beginning Ichigo could eat without vomiting as did some of the others. A few people didn't survive from anorexia and Aizne didn't care for them because the offspring weren't suitable to his standards so Aizen let them die. Ichigo had been force fed through a tube and had to swallow his own vomit one time since it went down with the food. Ichigo shuddered at the thought at his own bile and it brought forth a wave of nausea. Covering his hand with his mouth, Ichigo swallowed the bile that threatened to rise.
Ichigo thought he was save but that was until he felt Grimmjow touch his shoulder bringing back a quick flashback of Aizen. It was just a sliver but it had Ichigo trembling like a leaf as he pushed himself away from the blue haired man. He tried his best to breath but it was shallow and little oxygen was entering his lungs. Ichigo's heartbeat was racing like a car in NASCAR. As Grimmjow advanced, Ichigo felt like he was paralyzed in fear as he tried to breath. Instead of seeing a blue haired man with worry on his face, Ichigo saw Aizen smirking darkly as he was about to take Ichigo painfully. Taking in more air, Ichigo tried to speak but found he was unable to say anything as his mouth opened but nothing came out Grimmjow continued to come forward even as Ichigo was petrified. Ichigo tried to yell, tried to scream and tried to tell him to back off but Grimmjow continued to move. Ichigo knew the man was just trying to calm him down but the rational part of him mind was being jumped on by the irrational part of his brain and induced his fear. Aizen's face flickered over Grimmjow's and Ichigo was terrified he was going to be raped once more and loose his children. At the feeling of a needle being injected in his arm, Ichigo froze; he was going to be raped again. Aizen was there and was going to rape Ichigo.
Grimmjow stared down at the now sleeping Ichigo. Szayel had given Grimmjow and his team a drug that would bring anyone down from their panic attacks and from how Ichigo was acting, Grimmjow had to put Ichigo to sleep so that the children would live. Grimmjow knew it was a bad idea to touch him and he shouldn't have but Grimmjow just wanted to make sure that Ichigo was okay. Picking him up bridal style, Grimmjow took Ichigo to Szayel's room. He was one of the few people who suffered from the rape. He had agoraphobia and didn't like to go out. Apparently Aizen had drugged him so that he came out an ate and Szayel kept those drugs on hand when it was necessary but the majority of the time the man was holed up in his room with the lights off and if they were on by chance it was in the very corner so that no one would see if they walked past his door. Everyone suffered greatly but Szayel had assured them if someone needed his help he could do so as long as they came to his room. Grimmjow knew in the eight month that a doctor would need to be on hand to sedate Szayel enough so that he could give birth but until then Grimmjow would allow him to be in his room until he got over his phobia.
Knocking on the door, Grimmjow waited until Szayel unlocked the deadbolt lock as well as the chain lock that kept him safe on the inside and those on the outside out. When Szayel peeped in, Grimmjow was let in but was shoved in. Grimmjow understood his need for keeping indoors and tried to keep moving.
"I need you to check over Ichigo," asked Grimmjow," he went into a panic attack after I tried to get his attention."
"Did you physically touch him?" asked Szayel.
"Yeah," answered Grimmjow
Szayel sighed." You are an incompetent baboon. Besides Orihime, most of us rape victims suffer from Rape Trauma Syndrome. I have agoraphobia and Ichigo suffers from depression, anxiety attacks, flash backs of the initial rape and a fear of being in crowds. Aizen literally had to drag Ichigo out to eat with the rest of us like he had to drug me to get out of my room."
"Why doesn't Orihime suffer severly from it?" asked Grimmjow.
"She's on a new level of Miss Sunnybrooke farm," answered Szayel dryly," you could fling her into the orbit and I'm sure her brightness could replace the sun."
Grimmjow snorted at that and couldn't help but crack a smile and laugh at the scientist making a joke. He watched carefully as he looked over Ichigo and nothing seem to be wrong with him from what Szayel was speaking. The room was dark since there were no windows in it, they were boarded up from the wooden bed frame but where the man got the nails Grimmjow would never wait. That was until he turned his head and saw a hole in the floorboard. If the man had a fear of going out the floorboard could be like a cubbyhole, which Szayel had in his room, to lead him to all the rooms in the house. There was a bathroom attached to the room but not a kitchen stocked with food. It explained how he ate when he got cravings.
"I have one questions," spoke Grimmjow.
"What?" asked Szayel.
"...Well two actually."
"Just spit it out," snapped an irritable Szayel.
Grimmjow was surprised at the mood change in the rather calm scientist but made sure to answer the man as soon as possible.
"What are you having?" asked Grimmjow," and what happened to the others?"
"A girl, her name is Valeska," answered Szayel," and the others. They died. Aizen had no use for them and when they didn't take well to the chemicals to increase the chances of pregnancies they died Orihime had a serious malfunction and Emily was almost never born. There was an over stimulation in egg production and I had to remove an ovary at one point. She may never had a child after Emily if she tries again. Aizen was a fool to administer the drug by himself."
"How did the others die?" asked Grimmjow.
"Some from the shock of the drugs," answered Szayel," others died from bleeding out due to a miscarry when Aizen wasn't satisfied with the soldiers he was planning to make. He made sure they bled out and suffered. If you hadn't gotten there in time, Ichigo would have been next. We found out that Ichigo's boys would be the strongest but as Joel progressed it seemed he was tied with Ichigo's twins."
"So Aizen was going to kill him?" asked Grimmjow in shock.
"He had no need for Ichigo and knowing that Ichigo denied him sex only made him want to get rid of the twins even more," Szayel informed," if possible he could genetically alter them more so that the next person he raped had stronger offspring. Aizen might have let Ichigo live; Ichigo was his favorite after all."
"The jury better find Aizen guilty for rape and murder in the first degree," Grimmjow prayed.