Entry for the TwiFic-Text Message LOL Contest.

Title: Peacocks and Pings

Pairing: Alice/Jasper

Rating: M

Word Count: 1,530

Summary: Alice crosses the line with Jasper. Yeah, that line; the one that crosses personal lines, state lines, and insanity lines, too.

Disclaimer: Any person/place/thing recognizable, I don't own. Sorry folks!

I think it's safe to say I'm sufficiently in lust with Jasper Whitlock. I've also come to the realization that I'm about 99.9% in love with him too. The thought hits me like a sack of bricks to the face, and I book it out of Music Theory 1A like my ass is on fire. I'll probably be getting an email from Mr. Perazzo later tonight asking me what was so urgent that I left his class an hour early. I'm pretty sure stating "boy problems" will not suffice.

You see, I've known Jasper since I was five years old, and I've always taken great care not to cross the fine line I drew at that age. If my kindergarten-aged brain knew he was trouble, surely my college-aged heart would too right? Nope, I'm convinced I got stupider as I got older; I've been fighting these feelings for my good friend since my sophomore year of high school. Newsflash: I'm currently in my sophomore year of college and the feelings have worsened ten-fold.

I have done everything in the Manual of Avoidance; from dating other guys to chanting off the wall mantras (ex. "I bet Jasper has a really tiny dick, like eggroll sized. Eggroll dick, eggroll dick, eggroll dick.). I got really weird during that phase with him. I'm pretty sure I looked like I was giving him the stink eye every time we made eye contact. Damn squint eyes.

As I rush to my shitty '91 Honda Accord—fuck those seagulls and their god damn runny poop on my car—I wonder when I crossed the line with Jasper. Could it have been when I peed my pants from laughing like a loon in the third grade and he let me wear his ratty shorts? Nah. Or maybe when he was my first slow dance in the eighth grade? Couldn't be. Maybe when he held my hand when I got my nose pierced? Possibly. Ooh, or maybe when I went out on a drunken limb and got my nipples pierced for him after he told Edward the piercings were "fuck hot"? Christ, forget crossing the relationship line with that move, I must've crossed personal lines, state lines, hell, insanity lines, too.

Shaking my head to clear it of those stalker-ish thoughts, I start my car and drive well above the speed limit to my shitty apartment just outside of Port Angeles. Once inside the cozy abode I share with Bella, my sister from another mister, I dial up Jake.

Unlike with Jasper, things with Jake were easy. I mean fuck, they had to be. He was gay and more effeminate than I was. If I had anything to fight Jake on, it would be who got in Jasper's pants first. Bitch was going down faster than the Titanic if he thought I'd lose that battle.

"Hullo?" my lovely Brit of a friend answers.

"Gah! I love it when you speak dirty to me," I exclaim.

"Stop deflecting, Ali-pie," he gently demands.

"I give up on even disputing that claim," it was pointless hiding anything from Jake.

"Jasper?" he softly questions.

"Jasper," I respond with a sigh.

"Alice, sweetie what have I been telling you all this time?" Jake groans.

"Jump and hump?" I question dumbly, knowing where this is going.

"No honey, put on your big-girl crotchless panties and tell the prat how you feel about him."

I sigh, not really wanting to confirm what Jake has thought all along. I figure the bikini wax method—quick and extremely painful—is the best way to proceed. "I love him, Jake. I'm in love with Jasper," I state quietly.

"So tell him how you feel, you nutter! Hell, go with a laugh if you have to, silly girl," Jake advises.

"What do I say, Confucius? 'I wanna see your peacock?'" I joke.

"Exactly! Break the ice with him. I'm pretty sure if you just dump your feelings on the boy, he'll deflect. You know that. You two quakers are more alike than you'd care to admit," Jake, the forever wise one, says.

"Yeah, I guess you're right. Ugh. I'm so stupid. I fucking sprinted out of Music Theory faster than Usain Bolt. Jasper's gonna think I'm on crack," I fuss.

"Alice, you'll be fine. He's probably worried about you, if anything," Jake pauses and then mumbles something. "Look Ali-cat, I gotta head back to class. Just, text him or something, okay?"

We both hang up the phone shortly, and I decide to hop in the shower to wash off the stresses of today. My shower may or may not have been extended by eight minutes because I may or may not have gotten off to the sight of Jasper's face. So sue me for having an active sex drive.

Sitting on my bed after putting lotion on my body, I decide to send Jake a quick text, hoping it'll boost my confidence.

I wanna see your peacock ;) – A

While waiting for him to reply, I play with my nipple rings. Ever since I got the Wonder Twins pierced four months ago, we've become pretty good friends outside masturbation.

A ping from my iPhone draws me out of my fiddling. Hmm, it's a picture message. I open the file and…

"Well, fuck me sideways 'til Sunday," I whisper reverently. Holy shit, staring back at me is the most beautiful, rock hard cock I've ever seen. It is too perfect to be called a penis. That's too weak a word. No, this is 100% cock. It is indescribable in too many ways, and I soon find myself getting wet at the sight of it. Then, when I think of whose cock it is, I get dryer than the Sahara. Fucking Jake, and his stupid penis, and his stupid pale skin—wait. When did Jake go from Zimbabwe black, to 'Murica white? That fucker is probably trolling me with gay porn… again.

Nice one fuck face. Way to send me a picture of your latest twink, Jake. – A

Not only am I severely pissed off, but now I'm so horny, I might just fap to a picture of a gay man's dick. Lovely, Alice. You sure know how to pick out great, life-long friends.

Another ping alerts me, and I grab my phone in frustration. Without even thinking to look at who's sending me the text, I slide my finger across the screen.

Does this look like the face of a twink, Alice? – J

Rolling my eyes, I scroll down to the picture attached.

"Christ on a bike!" I scream. Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit. The face captured on my tiny screen is not a twink, nor a twink of Jake's. No, it's mother fucking Jasper, which can only mean that the cock I was admiring belonged to mother fucking Jasper. I wanna scream, cry, and cum all at once. My word. It's like an emotional smoothie going on in my body at the moment.


I fling my phone across the room with the force of the Hulk, deathly terrified of what the incoming text message says.

"Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit." Hello accurate exclamation, nice to meet you.


Huffing, I dart out of my bed and onto my floor, grabbing my iPhone. I, once again, swipe my finger to the right to unlock my screen. I begin to read the first text message.

Alice? Sorry girl, I just thought – J

Shit, you're probably freaking out right now. Don't worry, I'm on my way. – J

I sit unmoving for five minutes before I hear rushed knocking. I quickly put on my yellow fleece robe and pad to the front door. I open it on Jasper mid-knock. Deciding to be the bigger person, I begin to apologize, "Look, Jasper I-"

He cuts me off with the most passionate kiss of my life. He pulls away for the briefest of moments.

"God, Alice. I just had to. I had to find a way to get you to notice me and the way I felt about you." He brings his lips back to mine and immediately darts his soft velvet tongue into my mouth. Heaven, I tell you. Kissing Jasper is pure heaven.

All too quickly, the kissing stops and he looks me dead in the eyes. "I love you, Alice Brandon. I know sending you a picture of my dick isn't the most romantic thing in the world, but then again, asking me flat out to see it isn't either." He winks at me and smiles. I melt… a whole fucking lot.

"Jasper, I'm sorry I sent you that text. It was meant for Jake, but in a roundabout way, I'm glad you got it. You silly boy, I love you too," I tell him.

All too soon, kissing leads to touching, touching leads to sexing, and sexing leads to spooning. Of course, just before I think I'm about to get away with them, Jasper opens his gob.

"Did I miss something? Alice, when did you get your nipples pierced? And why the hell wasn't I notified?"

I just giggle when he begins to toy with them.


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***Contest has been extended, we will be accepting entries till May 6th, 2013***

Voting opens May 7th, 2013 - May 21st, 2013