So, this is an idea I've had for a while now and I finally got the first chapter done, so here it is. I'm not exactly sure how long it will be, but probably around six or seven chapters at the most.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Raj was not happy. With his arms folded tightly over his chest he frowned around 4A's living room at his three friends, his lower lip jutting out.
"I'm not necessarily condoning young Joffrey's actions, but in terms of preventing future mutiny, that was a pretty wise move saying goodbye to Ned Stark's head," said Sheldon, arms held up defensively as he continued the argument that had been going on for nearly ten minutes now.
"But Ned, Arya, and Sansa were going to be his bargaining chips to get Jaime back," Leonard countered, leaning forward in his armchair. "Every Lannister knew he made a mistake."
"Yeah," Howard agreed. "He had a chance to get their best warrior back and blew it with his theatrics."
The theoretical physicist scoffed. "Jaime Lannister was beaten by a boy who'd never gone to battle before; he can't have been that good."
Raj wholeheartedly disagreed with Sheldon's defense of Joffrey Baratheon, but, in this particular case, that wasn't what had the loveable foreigner riled up.
"Excuse me!" he said indignantly, keeping up his frown. "I started a conversation about the results of the medical examinations we got at work today." He narrowed his eyes, glaring between the three of them. "How the hell did you guys jump from that to Game of Thrones?"
"We were trying to veer away from your topic of conversation," Sheldon explained pleasantly. He smiled at Raj before turning back to Leonard and Howard and continuing to make a case for Joffrey.
The astrophysicist glumly sank lower in his seat. "How come you guys never wanna talk about what I want to talk about?" he complained.
"We talk about things you like," said Howard. "It's just this time if we let you talk, it'll be like watching an hour long promotion for one hundred calorie snack packs."
"Well excuse me for caring about my body." He took a sip from his water bottle. Normally, he grabbed a beer from the fridge since Penny, Amy, and Bernadette would be over soon, but he was on such a high from the results of the check up he'd had today that he wanted to keep up that good work by hydrating himself.
"However," he continued. "It doesn't matter what you guys think. I happen to have a perfectly healthy heart and my blood pressure's normal." Raj's proud smile faltered when he was once again ignored and the talk reverted back to the goings on in Westeros.
The astrophysicist's mood only darkened when the girls entered a moment later. Great. Now he couldn't talk either. Though considering no one was listening to him anyway, it didn't make much of a difference. But he wasn't caving to alcohol yet; if he couldn't have speech, then he'd at least have his golden temple of a body.
"Hey, guys," Penny greeted them, moving to sit on the arm of Leonard's chair.
"Hey," Leonard said as Amy and Bernadette took seats near their respective significant others. "What'd you guys get up to this afternoon?"
"Not much. Just some shoe shopping," Penny replied.
"Yes," Amy said, grinning proudly. "My closet is now filled to the brim with dazzling footwear that will murder my feet for the next month."
"Oh, well that's ... great?" Leonard glanced at Penny who merely shrugged.
"What about you guys?" Bernadette asked.
"Not too much, we –" Howard began before Raj cleared his throat loudly, shooting the engineer a glare. They weren't getting out of this that easily.
Howard frowned at his best friend before mumbling, "We all got medical examinations at the nurse's office today."
"Just a standard check up," Leonard added quickly. "They checked our blood pressure, reflexes, heart health. Nothing major."
Sheldon nodded. "Yes, quite a tedious afternoon, now back to Joffrey, I don't understand why you're giving the little fella such a hard time –"
"Wait, how did the check ups go?" Bernadette interrupted, earning a look of exasperation from Sheldon. She didn't see it but the microbiologist's persistence also got her a pleased look from Raj.
Howard gave his wife a shrug. "Eh, you know. Same old same old."
"What's 'same old same old'?" Amy asked, frowning.
The three men began mumbling incoherently, their nervousness causing them to make odd gesticulations and avoid eye contact. Only Sheldon's voice could sometimes be heard clearly as he once again attempted to bring attention back to his Game of Thrones discussion.
But Raj wasn't letting that happen. He rose from his seat and went to Sheldon's desk, ignoring the theoretical physicist's protests as he grabbed a sheet of paper and began scribbling furiously on it.
Once finished, he handed the paper to Bernadette and the girls gathered round to read it. Raj flashed a smug smile at his friends.
The shocked outbursts came all together:
"Leonard, you have high blood pressure!"
"Sheldon, so do you!"
"Howard, you're at high risk for heart disease!"
The boys' gazes turned to the floor, each of them suddenly very interested in their feet awkwardly scuffling against the ground.
Eventually Howard cleared his throat. "Yeah, so, like I said, same old same old."
"This doesn't worry you at all?" Bernadette asked incredulously.
Her husband shrugged. "Heart disease runs in my family. And all my relatives led very happy and prosperous lives until they keeled over and died at fifty."
"Fifty?" Bernadette repeated, her voice reaching a pitch so high it probably would have driven Raj's dog crazy.
"Still leaves me about twenty years," Howard said, trying to sound enthusiastic to add some humour to the conversation but failing quite miserably as his wife's eyes merely flashed.
"No husband of mine is gonna die at fifty!" she shot back in a tone that brooked no argument, and sounded very much like Howard's mother.
"These are serious medical concerns," Amy agreed. "You should start taking better of yourselves before they develop into something worse."
The three muttered their assents much to the satisfaction of their girlfriends and Raj. However, their pleasure didn't last long.
"So, did you guys want to order a pizza?" Sheldon asked after a moment.
"How is that taking better care of yourself?" Penny asked.
"I walked up four flights of stairs after work and didn't have a cookie at lunch because they were all out!" Sheldon explained. "If you ask me, that has a well deserved break written all over it."
"You've been using the stairs for nearly ten years, Sheldon," Amy pointed out. "Judging by the results of your physical, it hasn't made much of a difference."
The theoretical physicist tilted his head to frown at his roommate. "Sheldon," he said, deepening his voice to mimic Leonard. "Stop complaining about the elevator being broken, at least we're getting exercise!" He narrowed his eyes as he returned to his normal voice. "Thanks for that death trap of a lie!"
"Hey, I'm in the same boat as you are!" Leonard argued defensively.
"It doesn't matter whose fault it is," Bernadette said, her strained voice demonstrating very clearly that she was at her wit's end with the three male scientists. "What matters is that you fix this." She narrowed her eyes as she looked between them, her tiny size and high voice somehow making the microbiologist appear all the more menacing. She spoke in a dark voice. "Starting now."
"Yes, ma'am," the three said in unison, each sitting up slightly straighter in their panic to not get in more trouble.
"Good," Penny said. She placed a hand on Leonard's back. "You could start coming to the gym with me. Start things up again with your on again off again membership."
"Really? Because that membership and I had a pretty mutual parting of ways – but eighth time could be the charm!" he finished quickly when Penny squeezed his shoulder a little harder than was comfortable.
"Sheldon, you and I could actually get gym memberships," Amy suggested.
The theoretical physicist raised his eyebrows at his girlfriend's comment as a sudden realization hit him. "That's right. You don't go to the gym or engage in very much physical activity. How is it you're doing so much better than I am?"
The neurobiologist shrugged. "Your job doesn't have you tussling with monkeys every other day." The group watched in mild discomfort as Amy's eyes narrowed as though she were remembering something. However, after a moment she shook her head. "But, seeing as I've recently been removed from that project, it's only fitting that I join you in your quest to get active."
"Howie, I take a self-defence class that you could start coming to," Bernadette said, her tone returning to normal, but still managing to imply that the engineer would not could start accompanying his wife to these classes.
"Okay," Howard agreed, briefly standing so he could plant a kiss on her lips.
Raj stared at the three once-again happy couples from where he stood by Sheldon's desk. He was unhappy again. Sure, the girls had been meant to guilt trip their men into exercising and eating healthier, but they weren't supposed to go workout together now! That was where Raj had been going to come in, finally getting some workout buddies! But apparently the loveable foreigner was once again flying solo.
Now rather irritated, Raj grabbed another sheet of paper from the theoretical physicist's desk and wrote something on it. He walked around Leonard's chair and handed it to the Texan.
Sheldon frowned up at the astrophysicist after reading it. "Joffrey sucks eggs?"
Raj simply shrugged.
Review if you'd like. :) And, I know we haven't heard the guys have very in depth discussion about Game of Thrones, so I could be wrong in assuming Sheldon's stance on characters like Joffrey, but since in other things like Star Wars, he's identified with the antagonists as opposed to the Rebel Alliance, I figured he'd lean more towards the Lannisters than the Starks.