Disclaimer: Still don't own Enterprise, but in my head I own Trip, BWAAHHH!!!
Thanks to my beta hopefulnebula!
Lil' bit of Angst, just a one part song-fic. The Lyrics belong to me from the song 'Gone'. Please, please read then review...


Trip hurried through Enterprise, his body on auto. Part of him knew that he was getting funny looks from the rest of the crew and that part of him wasn't surprised. Trip was on duty, but wasn't in engineering or heading for the bridge. However the bigger part of him was numb. He wanted nothing more than to get to his quarters and curl up in a corner somewhere and sleep. His hand was gripping a pad so tightly, his fingers were turning white.
//Just 20 more meters... 15... just 10 left... now 5... there!\\ he thought as the doors to his quarters swished open. He stepped inside and the door closed. In the privacy of his room, he slid down against the wall, his eyes blank as great, hot, salty tears fell down his face.


"Hey Trip!" Captain Archer called. Trip looked up from his work, a small smile on his face.
"What's up Cap'n?" he asked cheerfully. Archer smiled and handed Trip a data pad.
"This just came for you, top priority."
"For me?" Trip asked in surprise. "Thank ya Jon."
"You better tell me at dinner, who this important friend is you have and why you didn't mention them before." Archer laughed then left. Trip turned on the pad and glanced over the message. He gasped then read it a second time his mind refusing to believe the words on the pad.
//No, no, no, no, no\\ he thought desperately but the words stayed the small, neutral and cold. Trip looked around his head spinning. He had to get out, get away from everyone, he couldn't breathe...

**End Flashback**

Even now Trip couldn't understand it. How could she be dead and gone? She who had everything to live for, who never stopped smiling. The pride of everyone who knew her. She couldn't be gone, she was only 18. His eyes closed as a forgotten melody came to mind.

' You're gone,
No matter what I say or do,
You're gone,
Don't think I can live without you. '

How long ago was it he had last heard this song? Trip didn't know. It had been hers, she had written it when her friend had died and know she to was gone, dead never to come back, never to smile or laugh at one of his cheesy jokes. The song was coming back faster now as the old lyrics sprung into his head.

' You were there when my world was in shadow,
You helped me set things right,
I'm not lying when I tell you,
because of you, I got though the night.

I would have been lost without you,
Stuck without you,
Wandering around in the dark. '

He buried his head in his arms as he let out an animal like scream.
//Why?\\ he pleaded. //Why her? How could she die\\ cancer, the letter had said. Cancer of the lungs. It had been painless the doctor had assured them. They just hadn't known about the cancer until it was to late.
//We're so advanced yet sadly we missed this... it only happens to 1 out of 100 cancer suffers.\\ the phrase from that letter swerved around his head but they didn't make Trip feel any better.
"Trip?" a voice said. He looked up to see Malcolm staring at him, worry on his face.
"What's the matter, you just ran out of engineering..." Trip stared at him, his mind was to numb to properly understand what Malcolm was saying.

' Now you're gone,
There's just any empty place in my heart,
Now you're gone,
The pain hit me like a dart. '

"Get out." Trip muttered his face back in his arms.
"What! No Trip, I'm not leaving until you tell me what's wrong." Malcolm exclaimed. Trip sprung up and shoved Malcolm outside before Malcolm could blink.
"I said get out!" he screamed, not wanting to deal with Malcolm, Jon, life... anything.

' I'm lost and blind without you,
Trying to see through the fog,
I love and need you darling,
Can't live without you're smile.

I would have been lost without you,
Stuck without you,
Wandering around in the dark. '

Trip didn't know how long he had sat there, his mind trapped in all the memories.
"Trip?" Jon asked, his voice full of concern. He sat down beside Trip and sighed. Trip shifted slightly and turned his head so he could see Archer.
"What's wrong?" Jon asked, horrified at the puffy red eyes and tear strikes that decorated Trip's face.
"It's Libby." Trip said softly. He had to tell Jon, he had been close to Libby too.
"You're sister?" Archer asked quietly. Trip nodded.
"S-she's d-d-dead." Trip broke down, tears cascading down his face again. Archer placed his hand on Trip's shoulder and let him cry.
"It's okay... I know it doesn't feel like it, but the pain will fade." Archer said, wishing there was more he could do. Trip sat there his mind once again on the old lyrics written by Elisabeth 'Libby' Tucker.

' But now you're gone,
Gone forever,
No words can bring back,
What I've lost forever... '


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