8.) Immortality

"Would you live forever?"

He didn't look up. Thirteen looked at him strangely, then settled herself in the chair, waiting for him to answer. She had time. For now, at least.

"So, this is how you deal with your new expiration date. Torturing yourself with thoughts of immortality," he finally mused. "I figured you'd be more the 'drown yourself in hard liquor and hot chicks' type."

"Oh, I'm that type too," Thirteen smiled, relishing how he perked up at the mental image. "But the question's been on my mind, and forgive me if I'm wrong, but if you're a type, it's the philosophising one."

"Everybody dies. Philosophy questions the improbable, not the impossible. The question's bordering on asinine."

"Oh, like you don't spend your entire life working in hypotheticals. And how do you know it's impossible? Surely even your ego doesn't stretch to omniscience," Thirteen replied sarcastically.

"Simple logic and reasoning. We all die eventually, be it eaten through by cancer or mauled by wild coyotes. Perhaps we could theoretically live for eternity, but it wouldn't happen. We're just too damn stupid." She could tell House was smiling. "Then again, you're dating Foreman, so logic's probably lost on you."

"Wow, insulting my choice in men. That doesn't sound like a diversion tactic at all."

"What's to divert?"

"Beats me, but there's something."

"What about you? You haven't answered the question either. Would you live forever? Assuming your brain wasn't going to start leaking out of your ears in a decade or so."


"Quick answer. Interesting. Elaborate."

"I don't particularly feel like watching everyone I know and love die."

House's eyes sparkled. "Hey, no fair. I called dibs on the soul-destroying pessimism before you were even in diapers."

"Should have had it patented," Thirteen retorted.

"Yeah, but that would require effort."

They fell into a comfortable silence for a few moments, Thirteen watching him intently as he stared out of the window.

"I'm not leaving until you answer."

"If you like, I could test that out. With a hacksaw."

"I don't doubt it, but that would require moving, and I've stolen your cane."

"You-" he looked up to see her twirling it victoriously from the other side of the room. "Impressive," he conceded.


He sighed, exaggeratedly. "Yes."


"Because life is just too beautiful to give up."


"No. Now give me back my cane, or you're fired."