Authors Note: Ending this story truthfully was hard for me. It's my first story since the writers block of 2012 (early part of the year) happened. I hadn't been able to write anything and coming back with this one, well I got attached. I wasn't putting myself with Blaine, I wasn't even imagining it that way. I just imagined a struggle to determine who you are, one that much like Blaine I'd gone through 15 years before and I ran with it, Cheryl coming along for the ride. At times I loved it, at times my perfectionism hated it but I wrote through it all and what you see before you now is the final chapter of that. I'm so thankful to have had the chance to write this, have you guys read it, like it, favorite it and follow it, and some of you even review it. It's been a real treat. You will never know how much it means to me. So thank you for your acceptance and your time. Enjoy!
Five years ago today, I asked the most beautiful woman in the world to be my girlfriend. Also on that day she accepted and my life really was forever changed. So much has happened since that day and in an effort to make sure it is never forgotten I wanted to write it all down. I want the world to know as our time is never assured just how much this woman meant to me and my life and how I don't know if I would be standing where I am now without her.
I was on a fast track to a breakdown. I know that now. I think I knew it then but I had never fully acknowledged it which means that it was never something I could have changed. I had to be ready and back then I wasn't. I was becoming something else, someone else even and I just wasn't ready for what that entailed.
Since then, I've had the chance to go back and make a lot of things right in my life that up until those few weeks were going tragically wrong. I finally got the time to sit down with Kurt and really talk things out. We were two very talented individuals, that were alike in so many ways that to the rest of the world it was always just natural that we would end up together. When that didn't happen instead of having a conversation, we went in separate directions and we lost one of the greatest friendships we'd ever known. Make no mistake, while our relationship may have been what we are most remembered for, the friendship was what always mattered most to me and wasn't something that I valued losing.
We hashed out what happened with Eli and why I had done the things I'd done. He'd long since forgiven me for it and was actually shocked at how long it had taken me to finally forgive myself. We talked about the dreams we had that we both wanted to accomplish and how we wanted to remain a part of each others lives to make sure those dreams happened the way we wanted. We were each others backbone and we let life get in the way of that for far longer then either one of us had intended.
It was nice getting back to normal with Kurt. At least a new kind of normal. The kind where he was my very best friend. Now I know that may seem like a slam against Cher but it really isn't. She knows what she means to me, what she will always mean to me and she also accepts that as long as I'm breathing Kurt will mean something to me too. It's one of the reasons I love her. Her blind acceptance of what I need in my life and her ability to never give up in pursuit of making sure I get it.
I graduated from McKinley, with honours and a full scholarship to the University of my choice a few months after the accident. We went out as Regionals champs that year as well. We went on to nationals and came in third, which may not have been the way we wanted it to go but something we were more then proud of.
Sam and I still keep in contact. He went on with a full football scholarship to Ohio State and he was living his dream. He was also still singing which made me happier then you can imagine. After all of the shared dreams and memories of Sam and even the rest of the misfits, or as we're known, the New Directions, the last thing I wanted was for any of them to give up on their dreams, especially where singing and dancing were concerned. So knowing that Sam still had the music in his heart, it made my heart full. I may not have actually loved him the way I had tried convincing myself of so long ago, but I still wanted the best for him and it looked like I was getting my wish.
I finally came clean to all of my family and friends about who I was. What I had been so afraid of when I was going through all of the agony of confusion back then, I quickly found out had been for nought. They accepted me now, just as they had accepted me then, with open arms and with open hearts and I couldn't have been more happy about it. I was a bi-sexual man, it was the real me, or at least a very small part of the real me and it was who I planned on being for the rest of my time on this planet. There really had been no going back that day in the hospital and truth be told, with the weight off my shoulders I could move on and really be happy and without a care in the world and it wouldn't have been possible had it not been for the woman that I met that day in the choir room. I owe her more then I can ever possibly explain.
I was in love with her then of course, but secretly denying it. With as confused as I had been just coming to terms with the fact that I was bi-sexual, I wasn't at all ready to admit that I wasn't just falling for her but that I had fallen for her. Period. She didn't waste any time in getting me to that place though. The place where I finally admit to her and myself what I had been trying to move slowly with. We had fallen in love. Maybe it was faster then most people, maybe it wasn't but it didn't make it any less real. It was real to us and from the moment the words flowed out, and we admitted how we really felt to each other, it only got better from there.
Cheryl went back to OSU the minute her doctor cleared her enough for travel, though this time she didn't go alone. I drove her. I didn't go with her to stay, but I wanted to make sure that she made it back okay. Call me paranoid or a worry wort, but I wasn't taking any more chances with her life and the life that I imagined for us in our minds. We both knew that even with a short distance such as OSU and Lima, we'd have to work harder to make sure we didn't break, but we were both determined, me even more so then her. I had been down the road of giving in too early and I wasn't prepared to ever make that mistake again.
We talked on the phone every night, texted throughout the day, no matter what we found ourselves doing and we even made a habit of skying. Yes she wasn't all that far from me but I wanted to make this work and for the first few weeks after she went back to school, I was finding it hard to live without her. Seeing her had become an everyday thing and not having that, I found myself searching for every way possible to make sure I did see her and again it only strengthened us.
Which brings me to where I found myself now. After spending the day on a full fledged hunt, I believed I had finally found the one I'd been looking for. It reminded me of her in every way possible, and I was positive that she would love it. She wasn't a material girl, nor was I a material guy but you only got the chance to do this right one time in your life, maybe twice and in my case I wanted this one time to be perfect in every way because it was going to be my first and last attempt at it.
I was going to ask her to marry me. It had been five years in the making. It hadn't been an easy five years as our lives had been going off in two separate directions but the both of us were nothing if not determined so we weathered every storm we faced together. Where five years ago we would have run from the hard stuff, this time, we ran toward each other and with just the right amount of communication, it just clicked.
I had just completed a very long but successful run in the Rodgers + Hammerstein's Cinderella and finally had a few weeks off before going on the road again for another play. It had also come to my attention recently that I'd been nominated for a Tony for my role in the play and as much as I couldn't wait to share that with Cheryl, I knew it was going to come secondary to my first piece of business. Making her my wife, once and for all.
The stage had been set. Dinner was cooked (thanks Kurt!) and placed. I had the ring in my pocket, taking it out every two minutes or so in an effort to make sure it was still there and the room was almost drowning in flowers. All different types though I heard through the grapevine (thanks Ryder) that her favourite was Carnations so the majority of the flower shops in the town were now dry thanks to my buying ability.
Everything was perfect. Just the way I wanted it and the way I hoped Cheryl would imagine it happening in her mind. She was coming back into town for another weekly visit with Ryder and another weekend visit with me so the timing couldn't be more perfect. Now all she had to do was say yes.
I watched her as she walked into the apartment. I had long since given her a key, to allow her to enter whenever she needed and wanted too, even if she was just needing a school break and wanted a quiet place to think. She took in the sight of all of the flowers around her, and as her eyes scanned over the entire room, they finally fell on the place where I had been hiding.
She smiled then, causing my heart to melt. In the five years since we had gotten together and even in the time period before it, her smile had always done this to me. It was nice to know that as time passed, some things, the most important ones didn't change. This was definitely one of the sensations I wanted to feel well into being a senior citizen. She began to make her way over to me, to which I met her halfway, wrapping my arms around her, never wanting to let her go.
"What is all this?"
"It's for you pumpkin. I wanted to surprise you."
She laughed and much like her smile, the laugh made my stomach do somersaults. It was like listening to the most melodic music and it never ceased to make me react.
"Well consider me surprised. Wow. I mean you really went all out?"
I kissed her then, deeply but quick, pulling away, knowing the way I wanted it to all go down in my head and not wanting to let anything, even hormones get in the way of that. Laying a gentle kiss on her nose, I took her by the hand and led the way into the dining room, where the food was waiting for us, along with a table full of carnations, made of white.
"I'm dating the most wonderful, kind hearted and beautiful woman in the world. Why wouldn't I go all out for her?"
Smiling again, I motioned for her to sit and she did as I asked. Once she was seated and comfortable, I knew it was now or never. I got down on one knee, never taking my eyes off of her as I did, and I pulled the ring box from my pocket. She gasped then and I couldn't do anything but smile.
"Blaine what are you doing?"
"Cheryl Lynn. I've loved you from the very first moment I saw you that day in the choir room and we've been through hell and back to get where we are now. There's nothing I would want to change but there's one more thing we have yet to do together and before any time passes, I want to do it. With you. You changed my life pretty much that very first day and you've been changing it every day since, in the most beautiful ways. So would you do me the honour of being my wife? Will you marry me?"
She was crying now. Something she always did when the emotion in the room ran too high. It was one of the things I had learned about her as time had gone on in our relationship and while most people can't handle the emotional type of girl that she was, it was in those types of moments that I knew I really loved her, every single part of her because even when she was emotional, she was beautiful. I wiped a tear as it began to slide from her eyes and I allowed myself to get down on both of my knees, her hands in mine, now more able to look her in the eyes.
"I love you Cher. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I would do that anyway, with or without a marriage, because to me we're already joined but I want to make it official. I want to wake up next to Mrs Cheryl Anderson every morning for the rest of my life. So I ask you again, will you marry me?"
She threw her arms around me then, nodding profusely, tightening her grip around my neck with each passing second. Not wanting to let me go, just as much as I never wanted to let her go.
"You're gonna have to speak up baby."
"Yes Blaine. Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes. I will marry you."
It hadn't ended that night when she said yes. No in fact it just became bigger and better. We were married alright. We married almost a year later, in New York where Kurt both served as my best man and her maid of honour Two roles he took very seriously.
Life really had come full circle for me. I had started all of this as a confused little boy and the day I pledged my love for her in our vows I knew that not only had I become a husband, I had also grown up and become the strong secure man that I was meant to be and now, I had the most loving woman by my side to guide me through what was left of this life.
Everything really does end up okay when you're true to yourself. I'm living proof.