Laughing Bat

Chapter 5

Now Batman wasn't normally a laid back person, he's harsh, smart and rather scary to anybody who doesn't know him. But to those that do know him on a more personal level, tend to get exasperated quite frequently with his shenanigans. Like now…

Bruce whooped in glee as he slid (rather dangerously might I add) down the banister that led to the bat cave. He was on a spare piece of smooth wood, having ditched a metal slab a few weeks back as the noise hurt everyone.

Alfred huffed in annoyance, rushing down and keeping a steady pace, having already been a few yards before his ward. Anyone could clearly see the older of the two was far ahead the 'mature bat'.

Then the little brat passed him!

"KEEP UP WILL YA!" Bats cackled maniacally.

Alfred growled, feeling rather insulted by what the young sir was insinuating. He was not Hella old! Grunting he jumped onto the Banister, sliding on his thankfully handy washcloth. He quickly caught up with the man, skilfully jumping over with the Wash cloth and slammed onto the Banister, now in front of the man.

He turned around and gave a shit eating grin before gracefully jumping over the very end of the banister and landing quite easily on the cold hard floor. His charge however was rather unlucky, caught up in his shock, slammed into the pointed edge of the banister. He flew head over heels and landed safely in a pile of rock-shaped pillows they had put there for just an occasion.

Despite the pout and rather distressed look on his charge, Alfred simply smoothed down his suit and gave a small smirk.

"Tea Sir?" He hummed softly, turning to the underground Kitchen they had now opted to keep.

"You totally cheated." Bruce grumbled, flipping safely on all fours.

"Would that be Green Tea or Lavender?" Alfred called, his amusement clearly shown in his tone.

"I should have won!" The man complained, running onto his conveniently placed roller chair and sliding up to the computer. "You were running! You cheater!"

"Lavender it is!" Alfred laughed.

Bruce huffed, puffing out his cheeks angrily before taking a quick look at his keyboard.

"Uh Bats?" The Speakers boomed.

Bruce yelled in absolute shock, slipping off his chair and landing hard onto the floor. He gave a heavy cry of pain.

"SON OF A BITCH!" He cursed, slamming his hands on the table as he pushed himself above it. "When the fuck did I turn the computer on!?"

He gazed at the surprised faces of the other Six leaders, aside from Superman.

Before either could get a word out, a book came flying from the side, striking Bats upside the head and flying high into the air.

"Shi-!" The book slammed hard onto his head before Bruce was able to utter another word, falling feebly onto the floor.

"Profanity Sir." Came his surrogate's father disappointed tone.

"M-My bad." Bruce huffed out in pain, holding his arms above his head.

Slowly, much to the surprise of the people on the screen, did he rise, holding his hands above his head to protect himself from anymore projectiles.

He glanced to his right and just stared, a calculating look in his gaze before he reluctantly put his hands down and looked at the screen.

"Bats what was that."

The man shrugged, rather feebly if anything.

"I don't even know anymore." Bats sighed, heavily. "What is it that you needed?"

Superman shook his head in amusement.

"We need you to come look at two of the five Javelins that we had recently went on for a test run."

"What's the matter with it?"

"One of them is running way slower than the rest, some of them said the motor or the engine sounded funny, while the other one doesn't even start anymore. We would've had someone else deal with the dilemma but decided ultimately that you'd want to know beforehand and check it out." Diana hummed, still a bit perplexed by what she had seen before.

Bruce leaned back, a hand on his chin while his other hand supported his arm.

"Okay, I think I might know the problem, but I'd need to see it. Is the second one even turning on?"

"It is." Shayera confirmed, having been the one to test them all. "Just isn't staying on, so all we're doing is revving up the engine."

"Alright I'll check it up in an hour, I have reports to file in and- AAH!" Bats shrieked, diving back and rolling away in his roller chair as another book came sailing across his face. "AH-HA! I KNEW YOU WERE STILL TRYING TO HIT ME, SUCK ON THAT YOU OLD COOT!"

"Old coot eh?" Another voice taunted from behind the screen.

Bruce grinned, ducking as another book came sailing towards him. The book hit the chair with so much force, it sent it rolling away with Bruce.

"Ah Fudge!" Bruce cried when they heard a crash. "You wont win this round Old timer, I swear to you I will win this time!"

"I'd like to see you try sir." The voice that sounded amused, suddenly appeared on screen, giving a very kind smile to the onlookers of the odd predicament. "It's a pleasure to meet you all, if you will not mind I would say that Master Bruce will be on the Watchtower in half hour's time."

A book came sailing across the room, but Alfred nimbly caught it in his hand's before holding it tightly as his smile turned more shark-like.

"Holy Crap, Your a freaking ninja!" Everyone hid their smiles at Bat's surprised voice.

"I did train you, sir." Alfred answered smugly, turning (towards the opposite direction bats went) to talk to his ward.

His smile fell, as he glanced around, turning the way his ward had flew off with the same confused frown. Bats popped up silently, right next to Alfred on the left side where the Butler had originally looked.

"Well I do have some tricks up my sleeves." The man grinned when Alfred threw his book up in shock.

"My Word!" Alfred yelped, turning to face the man with a startled and confused look. "Don't do that!"

Bats began to giggle, outright laughing when Alfred smacked him in the arm.

Alfred, although embarrassed seemed rather pleased, even as his son fell to the floor in his laughter.

"Don't mind Sir." Alfred smiled as he looked at the shocked faces of the league. "He is, as most would infer, a dork."

"H-Hey!" Bruce wheezed.

"Oh Don't deny it sir, just this morning you were giggling about the word quantity for it held the word of a females bosom." Alfred rolled his eyes.

Bruce did not held his case as he laughed even harder at the implications.

With that the call cut off rather abruptly.

Everyone slowly blinked as Superman struggled not to smile.

"He was laughing cause Quantity had boobs in them?" Flash sounded thoroughly confused.

Superman grinned, unable to hide his smiles as he walked towards the door.

"He's laughing cause it has the word titty in it." Superman snickered as the door closed behind him.

That man was just too childish sometimes.


So that last bit with Quantity actually happened to me. I'm a girl and I have boobs so just saying the word titty to me will make me laugh (And if you mention a boys lower region I will promptly look offended) Dick jokes never seem to make me laugh but boob jokes really do for some reason! D:

Anyways, like I said, just needed a pick-me-up so this came through. Dark Shadows, The Legendary Tamers and Rise of the Betrayed will all be updated by or before Sunday, I swear to it!

Uh That's al I got to say SO…

-Maiden Out.