You know that when you go to one of your favorite forums and find something titled, "I lost the Handcuff Keys," it will not end well. Not to mention one hell of a prompt.

Not much SQ, but it will be Snowing. Hard (Rated T, so not THAT hard).

The usual disclaimers.

This was not the morning to start with Sheriff Emma Swan. She overslept, she's still pretty groggy, and as she ran out of the house she swore she forgot something.

So the last thing she needed to see was a certain overachieving mayor cross her path. With that 100 watt smile.

"Good morning, Miss Swan," with all the cheerfulness one would reserve for a re-election campaign. that Regina Mills could muster.

"Not, now!" replied a frazzled Emma, searching through her backpack to see if anything was forgotten.


"Now, Miss Swan, that is not the way to address a mayor. Even if said mayor was treated to the best fish dinner she ever had last night..."

Emma blushed and sheepishly smiled. Ever since Wonderland, the people of Storybrooke decided to make peace with Regina by reinstating her as Mayor and at least being civil with her. Emma went a bit further...they shared a son, after all. Civility turned into something more. There were kisses...deep kisses. But not much past that. After everything that both have gone through in their lives, they wanted not to rush things.

"I just have to double back home to make sure I didn't forget anything."

"Such as...?"

Emma meekly replied, "oh...handcuffs..."

Regina gave the appropriate eye roll: "Well, heaven forbid we have a major crime committed in our fair city before you get back to the Charmings, like, say, Leroy getting drunk at 9 in the morning..."

"Not possible. Grumpy's been on the wagon ever since he and Nova got engaged. Wanna come along?"

"Why not," answered the mayor. "Besides, since we've been getting along so well, life's been kind of boring, so a few minutes with her majesty, Ms. White should be...hmmm, invigorating." To this Emma returned and eye roll of her own.

Actually, the relationship between Regina and Snow has been relatively pleasant for the last few months. The prevailing motto around the Charming and Mills households had been "in the best interests of Henry." Which is why Regina cut back on her Clay Buchholz impressions with fireballs. Anyway, Henry was in school, Kathryn was subbing for Snow who wanted to spend a little time with the other Idiot...errrrr...James.

Besides, Regina thought, Emma runs into the apartment, grabs whatever she needs, exchange a couple of snarky remarks with the Two Idiots, and that would be that. At least that's what she thought as she and Emma approached the apartment door.

They were not prepared for what they saw.

Emms left her handcuffs home, all right. There they were, in plain sight. The two pairs of cuffs connected the railings of the day bed with the wrists of David Nolan. James. Prince Charming.


And daddy was wearing nothing. But a thong.

Black. Leather. Thong.

Behind him was Snow, in a black leather bustier that left precious little to imagination...not to mention slutty makeup and blood-red lip rouge, wielding a paddle a la A-Rod in his prime...the very same paddle the school recently retired as a student punishment due to empassioned protests by the aforementioned Ms. White, claiming cruelty to children.

Seems adults were another matter.

And with every WHACK! administered by Mistress Snow, you could hear a nearly naked Charming exclaim...

"Thank you, ma'am may I have another...!"


"Thank you, ma'am may I have another...!"


"Thank you, ma'am may I have another..."

And occasionally, Mistress Snow would seductively coo..., "But of course you will dear've been such a baaaaad boy..."


The sheriff quietly closed the door. And Emma and Regina simply stared blankly at each other, digesting what they have seen.

Regina was definitely thinking that she knew that Snow's heart was darkening, but not to this extent.

Emma, on the other hand, thought that walking in on Mommy and Daddy in post-coital bliss was one thing, but walking in on Mommy and Daddy working on the 39th Shade of Grey was another.

And so it was that both women quickly dashed across the street and around the corner. Once a safe distance. they looked at each other, shocked to the core.

"Miss Swan, I do not believe there are enough apples grown that can produce enough cider for me to erase what I just saw from my mind..."

"Got anything stronger, Regina?"

"There were some spirits that I...uh...removed from Hook's ship once. Do you know anything about Everclear..?"

Emma did. It was the rocket fuel...literally..that was part of her misspent youth. And considering she could not, even now, remember much after a couple of swallows, she thought that would do the trick.

And so the Sheriff and mayor retreated to the mansion to drink the trauma away...

So should I continue...or leave well enough alone..?