Mine eyes have been subject to a most dreadful plight
An abomination in the form of a saga called Twilight
Yet, among the purple prose and misogynistic blight
Her Awesome marches on!

Leah, Leah, Leah Clearwater!
Leah, Leah, Leah Clearwater!
Leah, Leah, Leah Clearwater!
Her Awesome marches on!

I have seen her in the circle of Samuel Uley's pack
The wolf whose gleaming pelt doth match his heart of charr'ed black
Yet, even as his subordinates do stab her in the back
Her Awesome marches on!

Leah, Leah, Leah Clearwater!
Leah, Leah, Leah Clearwater!
Leah, Leah, Leah Clearwater!
Her Awesome marches on!

In her quest for freedom, she hath joined the pack of Jacob
Because she is not welcome in Sam Uley's little club
Yet, even when she must take orders from a spoiled, whiny cub
Her Awesome marches on!

Leah, Leah, Leah Clearwater!
Leah, Leah, Leah Clearwater!
Leah, Leah, Leah Clearwater!
Her Awesome marches on!

Such total hotness is unequaled among the Quileute tribe
Any sporker wisely knows she's better off with a diff'rent scribe
And in our headcanon, she gives the packs a much-deserv'ed diatribe
Her Awesome marches on!

Leah, Leah, Leah Clearwater!
Leah, Leah, Leah Clearwater!
Leah, Leah, Leah Clearwater!
Her Awesome marches on!

And so we pledge our troth to her, our Lady Wolf comrade
To defend her from the spars of a series so horrendously bad
We'll throw a kegger for her, Emmett Cullen and Mustache Dad!
Their Awesome will march on!

Leah, Leah, Leah Clearwater!
Leah, Leah, Leah Clearwater!
Leah, Leah, Leah Clearwater!
Her Awesome marches on!