Gamzee stared down at you in his arms, your broken body. He watched the life fade from your eyes, the beautiful fire that warmed him from the inside out. But now he was left cold. What the MOTHERFUCK have I done?
As your hand fell from his cheek and your blood splattered his face, he stayed as still as a stone statue. All the words he wanted to say caught in his throat, all the apologies, all the feelings. Instead, he sat there for a long while, his fingers brushing over your face. Your red blood smeared across your deathlike features, across his hand. Until he began to shake. Gamzee's purple eyes widened in horror as he brought his hand up to his face, slowly. Shaking violently, he saw all the colors staining his gray skin. Even yours.
It made him sick.
Gently, he lay your lifeless and blood-soaked body down onto the ground. As he stood, he couldn't take his eyes off you. He couldn't believe that you were gone. He didn't want to believe it. This had to be a nightmare. Maybe he'd fallen asleep somewhere in the horn pile, maybe even the bed. But the smells around him invaded his senses and then the tears came. The indigo tears streaming down his cheeks as he fell to his knees beside you. He grabbed your shoulders and began to attempt to shake you awake. "_!? _!?" He screamed, he cried, louder than he thought possible. He did this for so long that his voice had become hoarse. But still he refused to believe it.
It took him another moment before he leaned back and buried his face in his hands. "I'm so sorry, sis... I'm so motherfuckin' SORRY..." Gamzee's body shook with rage and, suddenly, he shot up. He lunged for his club and began to smash everything in his hive. The sound of breaking mirrors, the sharp crack of the wood, the loud bangings in his walls. He did this, howling in rage, for so long that he had broken his club into two. Gamzee stood there motionless once it had broken, his chest rising and falling violently, his wide eyes still spilling over with his tears. Staining his cheeks.
Not only had he killed you, he killed all his best friends. He killed all of them. It sent his world reeling and he dropped the broken club as he leaned over and vomited, until he was left dry heaving and clutching his stomach. He stumbled backward a few steps before he caught his balance and made his way to his recuperacoon, he knew what he had to do now. He fell to his knees in front of it and began shoving handfuls of sopor slime into his mouth. He didn't stop, he couldn't stop, until he felt his stomach stretching to it's absolute limits. That's when he picked himself up off the floor; more stumbling, unable to walk. He crashed into several objects, then into the floor. He began crawling his way over to your corpse. Every little inch seemed like it took an eternity, his world was crashing around him. He could hear his own sobs and he could feel them racking his chest, but he couldn't control himself.
When he made it over to your body, he wrapped his arms around you once more and held you close to him. "I promised I'd never motherfuckin' let you go, my fine miracle of a matesprite," he slurred, "I'm going to keep... my... motherfuckin'... promise."
That's when the both of you fell, never to wake up again. Yet his arms were still wrapped around you, refusing to let go. Now he could keep you safe. Nothing would ever hurt you anymore. Not so long as he never let go again.
IN A DREAM BUBBLE
You were sitting on the beach, Gamzee's beach. It felt as if you had been there for years, staring out at the deep blue of the ocean. Watching the tide reel in and pull away. Your arms wrapped around your knees, you stared. What else could you do?
Your eyes widened and you spun around. You needed conformation... and you got it. There Gamzee was, in his usual high state, while he slouched with droopy eyelids. His hands stuffed into his pockets, his brain refusing to register that you were here. With him.
"GAMZEE!" You yelled as you fumbled to your feet, sending sand flying in all directions. You ran over to him and he held out his arms for you, until you came crashing into his body. Gamzee stumbled backward a few steps before clutching you close to his chest and nuzzling your hair.
"I'm motherfuckin' here, _," he whispered as he held you closer. Your sweet scent invaded his nostrils and he breathed in deep, rocking you back and forth slowly. You held onto him with all your strength, your head resting against his chest. Though you heard no heartbeat.
When Gamzee pulled away, he cupped his hands around your cheeks and looked deeply into your eyes. "I'm so motherfuckin' sorry, you don't even know, _. So, so motherfuckin' sorry."
"You don't have to be sorry, Gamzee..." Your hand stroked his own cheek as he looked down at you, a soft and compassionate smile playing across your lips. "I forgive you... and I love you."
Then, he pulled you into his arms and buried his face into the crook of your neck. He was grinning now, his body shaking with relief, his tears dripping onto your shoulder. "I never meant to hurt you... you're my motherfuckin' matesprite."
"I know, Gamzee," you whispered and your arms wrapped around his neck as one of your hands stroked his hair. His silky, inky hair. "I know."