Chapter 1 - "Start of my Greatest Fear"
Now: Elena's POV
It's like you're screaming, and no one can hear
You almost feel ashamed
That someone could be that important
That without them, you feel like nothing
No one will ever understand how much it hurts
You feel hopeless; like nothing can save you
And when it's over, and it's gone
You almost wish that you could have all that bad stuff back
So that you could have the good
New York City is a strange place complete with jugglers in Central Park, platinum blonde women with Sugar Daddies shopping on Fifth Avenue with shopping bags stacked up their tan arms, and businessmen who rush to and from work every morning and every afternoon like they have something extremely important to do. Caroline likes it already. Go figure. She was never met for the small town lifestyle that we grew up with in Mystic Falls with. She must prefers the hustle and bustle of the concrete jungle. She was in her glory when she was negotiating with a street vender, who was selling the cutest earnings that she just had to have. Caroline won that little argument by threatening the call the police on him, since his little "store" was illegal, as most are in New York.
As for me, I was homesick as soon as we stepped foot in the apartment that would be our new home. I was instantly craving the sweet raspberry lemonade that Clary, the owner of The Mystic Grill, made every summer. It was a sort of tradition to have Clary's raspberry lemonade every Sunday in the summer. It's the best way to get cool after long hours of working and playing in Virginia's summer heat. If I try hard enough, I can squeeze my eyes shut and block out all my surroundings, and it's almost like I can taste the icy, purple drink on my tongue.
Only a couple of hours after moving into the apartment, all of our furniture is in it's places. Boxes clutter our separate rooms with clothes that have to be put away in drawers and pictures that have to be set up and, in mine and Caroline's case, hair and makeup supplies that are eager to hog up the two bathrooms that the apartment has. Our apartment clearly isn't the best New York has to offer, but it isn't the worst either. Two full bathrooms, four small bedrooms, a kitchen, a living room, and a storage unit downstairs in the basement of the apartment complex. I'd say it's a win.
Matt is sitting on the bright red plush chair that Mrs. Lockwood gave us, he looks exhausted from having to move all of our furniture from the U-Haul truck on the noisy city street up 5 stories to our apartment. Tyler is sitting on the couch with Caroline's head on his lap. He plays with a lock of her blonde hair and he says something, earning a giggle from Caroline. I stand in the kitchen that overlooks the living room, watching my three roommates, as I put away the pots and pans and spatulas and cups and everything else a kitchen needs.
"I have an idea!" Caroline suddenly perks up, sitting from Tyler's lap. "Let's go out to dinner and celebrate our moving out and independence and life in the Big Apple." She looks around at all of us. Tyler protectively wraps his arm around her shoulder, pulling Caroline closer towards him. "My Dad said that there's this cute little restaurant only a block away. He said it was inexpensive, too." Caroline looks at Matt and I when she says the last part, very well knowing that Matt and I aren't doing too well on the financial aspect of life. Matt slightly frowns at her.
"You guys can," I say, leaving the kitchen and coming over into the living room. Playing on the TV is a baseball game with the Yankees and some other team that I don't know the name off. Boys and their baseball. I sit on the arm of the red couch next to Tyler. "I can't. Aubree - hopefully - won't be waking up from her nap for a little while yet. I can't wake her up either, you all know how cranky she gets when she is forcefully woken up."
Matt shakes his head. "If Elena and Aubs can't go, then let's all not go. It'll be lonely without them. Why don't we just order Chinese food, pop in a movie, and call it a night?" He suggests. I can always depend on good ole' Matt to stick with me, so I flash him a appreciated smile. He returns the favor. I really don't feel up to spending the first night in New York by myself.
"That sounds nice, doesn't it, babe?" Tyler gently kisses Caroline's forehead. Those two are sharing a room now, and I have a feeling I'm going to be up most of the night listening to them doing it. As much as that completely grosses me out, I'm happy for them. It's easy to see that they are both head over heels for each other. Let them be happy.
Caroline nods. "Yeah, I guess. But we're watching The Notebook and I don't care if either of you two boys cry and whine about it." She grins. Matt and Tyler roll their eyes and groan. I wonder to myself how many times Caroline forced Tyler to watch The Notebook with her. She watches that movie religiously. And even though she saw the ending at least a thousand times, she still somehow manages to bawl her eyes out every single time.
I laugh. "I'll go order the Chinese."
An hour later, the four of us are curled up on the floor with blankets and cartons of Chinese food with The Notebook playing. It's at the part where Allie and Noah are dancing in the middle of the street, one of my favorite parts of the whole movie. Tyler and Matt look like they can tear their eyes out, while Caroline is gushing about Allie's hair and how muscular Noah is. That's when I hear the pitter-patter of little feet running down the hall and into the kitchen. I look up to see my precious, little Aubree with one side of her hair sticking up from the way she slept.
"Mommy!" Aubree exclaims when she sees me and immediately rushes over and into my arms. Her butt nearly smashes into my container of Pork Fried rice but I successfully push it out of the way. I hold her in my arms, patting down her furious bedhead then kissing the crown of her head.
"Did you sleep well?" I ask her. Her chubby cheeks are rosy and her forehead glistens with a layer of sweat. I guess I shouldn't have dressed her so warmly. But I would rather her be a little too warm then cold while she slept. Aubree nods, her attention completely focused on the movie. Great. Now Caroline corrupted Aubree with her Notebook obsession.
Matt smiles as he watches Aubree. "Come here, pretty girl." He says and reaches down from the chair, pulling Aubree up and into his arms then sets her on his lap. Aubree rests her head against his chest, still somewhat sleepy from her long nap. Matt is the closet thing Aubree ever had to a father figure. Oh, Matt. What would I do without him? He's my savior when I need saving. He'll drop whatever he's doing to come and watch Aubree for me if I'm exhausted or have something I have to be doing. I might as well slap Matt's name on Aubree's birth certificate.
Tyler, too, takes notice on my daughter's obsession with The Notebook and nudges Caroline. "Looks like you brainwashed Aubs with all this Notebook shit." He chuckles, looking at how Aubree's eyes are glued to the television.
Caroline smirks. "Just wait until she's older. She'll be addicted to every single Nicholas Spark movie. You watch and see."
Aubree utterly refuses to go back to sleep until eleven o'clock that night. I guess that's my punishment for letting her take a late nap. After she finally goes to sleep, I'm wide awake. First night jitters, I suppose. So, after switching on her Princess Jasmine nightlight, I leave Aubree's room and goes to the kitchen. I open the fridge and see that there is only a gallon of milk and a container of blueberries in it. One of us is going to have to do some grocery shopping tomorrow. I grab the container of blueberries, wash them, then sit on the little window seat in the living room that overlooks the street below.
Maybe packing up and moving my two year old daughter hours away from her home was a mistake. It's not like I have to be here in New York anyway, I just came because my friends begged me too. Caroline said I needed a fresh start, a new me. Easier said than done. Caroline, Tyler, and Matt all came here to pursue college, to take a step towards their future. I'm not going to college. I can't, not with Aubree. If anything, maybe in a few years time I'll be able to go to some sort of community college, enough to get a stable job and provide for Aubree for the rest of her life.
I hear one of the floorboards creak as someone walks on them. I groan, thinking it's Aubree who's up. But with a simple turn of my head, I see that it's Caroline. She's wearing her pajama shorts and a tank top, similar to my pajamas too. Except her blonde hair falls in waves over her shoulders while my brunette locks are pulled up in a high, messy bun. "Hey," She said quietly as she joins me on the window seat, stealing one of my blueberries.
"Hi," I reply, popping another blueberry into my mouth.
"Elena, do you remember why I told you that you should come with us?" She asks, pulling her knees to her chest and looking at me. Caroline always was the type of person to get directly to the point.
I nod. "You said I needed a new start." I look away from her and back out the window. New York sure is a bright city. And loud. I wonder if I'll ever be able to sleep with all the noise going on. I'm sure that if I listen closely enough, I could hear people shouting their conversations from 5 stories below. That's a drastic difference from not even being able to hear Jeremy talking in the kitchen while I'm in the living room at my old house in Mystic Falls.
"Exactly. A new start. A new life. A life without him." She follows my gaze out the window, admiring the city lights and stores that line the street. I give her two days tops to scope out all the best stores on our street. Caroline's words replay themselves in my head. I close my eyes, the image of him instantly appearing. He's so lifelike in my imagination that I feel like I could almost touch him, feel the pressure of his lips against mine. But as soon as I open my eyes, I see Caroline's face, her brows furrowed her concern.
"It's just...it's kind of hard to completely forget about the father of your child." I answer in a hushed tone.
Caroline nods in agreement. "Yeah, I guess it could be." She shrugs then looks back at me. "But he's gone, Elena. The best thing for you do to is let go. Find a few guy, there are plenty of guys in New York who would love to be able to call you theirs."
I squeeze my eyes shut. As much as I want to deny it, I know it's true. I know that he left me and completely forgot about me and Aubree and is off living the life that was planned for him, while I'm stuck caring for the human being that we created. I've been clinging onto the ghost of him for two years now. All those dreams I dreamt about him coming back to me were just dreams. Not reality. Sometimes, I learned, that the most painful thing you will ever experience in life is having to let go of someone you thought you could never live without. But, then you realize that you can live without them. You'll be weak at first, with shaky knees and trembling hands, but slowly, you'll be able to piece yourself back together into the person that you were before they left you.
I did the same thing when my parents died. Now, I have to go through that process all over again when he left me.
When I open my eyes, I'm a new person. Free from the pain that he trapped me in during the past two years. "You're absolutely right, Caroline. Tomorrow, we'll go shopping and sightseeing and I'll look for a job. Maybe, then, I'll meet someone new." I force a small smile. Meeting a new guy wasn't on my top priorities right now. But it would be a little nice to have a boyfriend, someone who is loving and caring towards Aubree, someone who respects my past and promises to me there for me in my future.
Caroline smiles too. "I can't wait. I was the cutest little boutique earlier. That's the first place we're heading to in the morning." She stands up, pulls me into a tight hug. "I'm just tired of seeing old, gloomy Elena. I miss the happy, fun Elena." She whispers in my ear as we hug. I don't have time to respond before she goes down on the hall and back into her and Tyler's bedroom. I hear her open the door, the faint sound of Tyler's snoring, then her door shutting again.
I sigh heavily, leaning against the brick wall and looking out the window. "I miss the happy, fun Elena, too." I mumble off into the empty space.
Now: Damon's POV
Lawyers are sneaky little bastards. I would know, I'm one of them. Okay, I'm lying. I'm not technically a lawyer, I don't have a law degree or any of that shit that is virtually pointless. I'm the son of a lawyer, the best in all of Manhattan, probably even the best in the state of New York, maybe even the best on the Eastern coast of the United States. I didn't attend college, I was too dumb to get into Harvard and anything below Harvard isn't good enough for my father. He hired me anyway. I'm not the official lawyer, my name isn't even on the business cards or anything. I just sit in my father's office with an expensive suit and help him out with the cases. He's the one who goes in the court. I get paid, though, pretty decently, I might add. So, I really can't complain.
"Damon." My Father says as he enters the our conjoined office. I nod at him from my desk. Then, he sits down at his desk which is a stone's throw away from mine. Immediately, he gets out his briefcase and pulls out a pile of papers. Jeez. For 7 AM on a Monday morning, this man really does like to work from the beginning of the work day to the end. "Stefan's sick." He mutters, looking over his papers. "Missed his appointment to talk to the head of the Harvard committee. Damn kid. Doesn't he know how hard those things are to reschedule?"
When my Father isn't looking, I roll my eyes. Ever since I became the son that my Father doesn't want to call his, he began pressuring Stefan into being the perfect, straight-A student who plays all the sports and is on every single club that the Manhattan School for Boys has to offer. Frankly, I felt bad for my little brother. His last year of high school was terrible. He took all the AP classes, staying up until 1 AM every night and waking up at 5 AM every morning to get all his schoolwork done. I know that Stefan suffering is all my fault. If I actually tried in high school, I would've been able to go to college and my father would already have one son that is in the process of becoming a lawyer to keep the Salvatore business running. As soon as Stefan's out of law school, my father is retiring and Stefan is going to take over for him, and I'll be in the same position in my job for the rest of my life. Fun, right?
"Give the poor kid a break," I tell my Dad. "It's not his fault that he's sick. You're Giuseppe Salvatore, every professor at Harvard practically worshipped you. I'm sure that you can get Stefan a new appointment by tomorrow at noon." I shrug. "When is Stefan coming home, anyway?" As much as I hate to admit it, I miss my baby brother. Tension between my father and I were always high. Stefan has a way of bringing down the tension and making my father a happier man. For that, I will always appreciate Stefan.
My father's eyes, with wrinkles above, beneath, and next to, scan the papers that are filled from top to bottom with small print. It's clear that my father is having trouble reading so he grabs his glasses and puts them on, which only make him look older than he actually is. "If he doesn't get another appointment within the next few days, which I assume he won't, then I'll have him fly back home in a day or two. Whenever he's feeling better." My Father shrugs. Then he looks up at me and says, "Damon, son, you don't mind going to fetch me a cup of coffee, do you?"
Then: Elena's POV
"Caroline, these shorts are way too tight." I mumble, as I look in the mirror at the shorts that I think I will literally have to peel off tonight. There isn't a inch of room to move in, not even a centimeter. I frown as I look at myself. I've gained a pound or two, that's no secret. Jenna says that I'm depressed because of my parents deaths a few weeks ago, and apparently some depressed people eat. I think it's just because I've been lying around all day, having no energy to do anything except mourn.
Caroline, though, refuses to sit around and watch me be upset anymore. So, it's a warm Saturday June evening, and Caroline is forcing me into going to a party at her older boyfriend's, Klaus, house. Apparently it's one of the biggest parties of the summer - complete with drinking and illegal drug use. God, if my parents ever found out I was going to one of these parties... I stop myself. They're dead. Six feet deep in the ground with no hope of resurrection. Gone. Caroline studies my shorts. "No, they're perfect!" A wide smile forms on her face.
I sigh. Of course she wouldn't care about my comfort, she only cares about looks. I frown at her. "I really don't think that this party is a good idea. Why can't we just stay in? Order pizza, put in The Notebook, and call it a girls night?" I bite my lip, knowing that it's pointless to even try to persuade her into letting us ditch the party. I just don't feel like being social. Klaus is a senior, which means it's a senior party with even some college kids there. It's a recipe for disaster. Another reason why I don't want to go is because I know Caroline, and once Caroline has a drink, she's bound to have a few more. I really don't feel like calling Jenna and having to explain why she needs to bring me and a drunk Caroline home.
"Oh, come on!" Caroline groans. "It's one night, Elena! One night! Get out and look good for one night. It'll be fun, I promise. Plus, there'll be tons of cute guys there. And right now, no offense, you need a man."
I purse my lips. There's no way I'm getting out of this one now. It is only one night, right? Then we'll be able to come home late tonight and I can curl up in my bed and sleep in until noon tomorrow. I sigh softly and arch an eyebrow at her. "No drinking?"
She shakes her head. "No drinking." Caroline confirms.
"Caroline!" I shout, squirming my way through the heavy crowds of people at the Mikaelson's Mansion. The party was exactly what I suspected. The lights are extremely dim, with loud music, and the occasional strobe light along with splashes of bright, colorful lights. "Caroline!" I holler again. She and Klaus ditched me. God only knows what they're doing. Some type of anger boils up inside of me. Klaus is drunk and Caroline, despite her promise to me earlier, had a beer or two. If both of them are drunk and they're alone, the outcome can't be good. They had sex before, it's kind of obvious. But the drunk mind is a stupid mind. If they don't use protection and she ends up pregnant, I'll kill her.
I'm tempted to go upstairs, but I'm sure that there are plenty of other couples getting it on. And I don't want to barge into any room and see anything. So, instead, I go into the kitchen where the lights are on and it's less crowded than the rest of the house. I open up Klaus's refrigerator and grab a handful of grapes and start eating them as I people watch. There is a couple sitting on the kitchen table in an extreme make out session. I can seriously hear sucking sounds. I get that it's a party and all, but do they have to show that much PDA? Can't they go make out in the closet like everyone else?
"What's a pretty girl like you doing all alone at a party?" An unfamiliar voice says. I look up to see a guy, with black boots, dark jeans, and a tight back V-neck t-shirt one, with pitch black hair and ice blue eyes. I swallow hard. He's a senior, I've seen him around the halls of Mystic Falls High School. But he never gave me the time of day. He's the typical tall, dark, and handsome man that's in the movies. I wish I knew his name.
"Hi." I say shyly then mentally curse myself. Suddenly, I feel embarrassed of my outfit - short shorts and a tank top that shows off a lot of cleavage. It's almost like this mysterious senior can look right through my shirt and bra and see my breasts. I bit my lip nervously.
He chuckles and takes a step closer to me, plucking a grape out of my hand and popping it in his mouth. I watch him chew it. "I'm Damon." He holds out his hand. Slowly, I shake it. His hands are sweaty, but not because of nerves like mine are. His hands are sweaty because it's hot in here and he's wearing jeans and boots.
"I'm Elena Gilbert." I answer him, quickly pulling away my hand and wiping away both of our sweat on my shorts. God, he's so hot. I feel my cheeks get red, blushing from my thoughts. I try to push Damon out of my mind, to keep me from doing anything more embarrassing.
"Elena Gilbert?" He says, knitting his eyebrows together. Then it looks like he has some sort of epiphany and raises both of his dark eyebrows. "Ah, Elena Gilbert, as in the girl who recently lost her parents because of that damn Wickery Bridge?" Then he mumbles under his breath. "God, I hate that bridge." I nod slowly, wincing a bit at the mention of my parents. He realizes this and frowns slightly. "Oh, touchy subject, right."
I nod slowly. "Yep."
Out of nowhere, Caroline pops out from the crowd. Her cheeks are rosy from the heat and she immediately rushes over to me. "Elena! There you are! I've been looking for you everywhere. Look, we have to go. My Mom is going to be at my house. Klaus's brother, Elijah, is driving us home. Don't worry, he's not drunk or anything." She grabs my hand and starts pulling me away from Damon.
"Goodbye, Elena." Damon winks at me. "See you around." The last thing I see of him is a smirk on his pale pink lips before Caroline yanks me out into the crowd. I follow her obediently, she's clearly worried that we'll end up in trouble once her Mom realizes that we're not home. She pushes me out into a Volvo in the front of the Mikaelson house, where a guy that looks like he's in college is in the drivers seat. I'm guessing this is Elijah.
The ride home is silent and awkward. Caroline and Elijah exchange a few words, small talk about the party and how Klaus can get on each of their nerves. I sit in the backseat, staring at my phone, pretending to text. In a matter of a few minutes, we arrive back at Caroline's house. I'm happy to get out of the car, to feel the cool air against my warm face. Caroline and I thank Elijah then go into her house where, thankfully, is empty. I guess Sherriff Forbes is running a few minutes late, which is good news for us. We go directly into her bedroom, change into our pajamas then lay next to each on her bed, while Jersey Shore plays on the TV.
"So...I saw you and Damon Salvatore talking." Caroline giggles, looking over at me. "He's cute."
I roll my eyes. "We just a little conversation, nothing serious." I try to suppress the smile that is working it's way to my lips. I fail. A big, idiotic smile cracks my lips causing Caroline to giggle even more and roll her eyes too.
"Damon doesn't talk to people he's not interested in. He definitely wants you, Elena." Caroline says.
"Oh, shut up." I turn over on my side, my back facing her, where I can smile like an idiot freely. Okay, so, Damon Salvatore is obviously very good looking. He's older and he has that whole bad boy thing going on. Maybe I can be happy again, and maybe Damon will help me towards happiness. He can be my foundation, my rock. Then again, I'm probably just getting ahead of myself, we just had a little conversation. But he called me pretty. I can't even remember the last time a guy called me pretty. Then he winked at me. A nice, little, quick wink. Enough to have given me butterflies in my stomach.
Author's Note: First chapter of my new story! My average for "Right and Wrong" was 2,000 words per chapter. This chapter has over 4,500 words. So, this story's chapters are definitely going to be longer and have better details.
Eek! I'm so excited to right this story. So far, I have the first ten chapters planned out of this story, I just have to right them. And let me tell you, chapter 10 is a pretty darn big one. Haha. Any questions regarding this story? Let me know. Please review so I know what you guys think of the this story. And if you're new to me, then make sure you check out my other story, "Right and Wrong"
If you are currently reading "Right and Wrong" the final chapter and epilogue will be up soon! Thank you all so much!