I'm back! This time I come offering a short oneshot.

When Detective Hwang finally convinces the whole gang to go for a second outing – can they manage a whole of two days without a murder?

Not a complete crack!fic, but with some OOC for the sake of comedy.

And to everyone who are still waiting for the updates on Feel Again – I haven't abandoned it! I'm just facing an incredibly difficult chapter and still deciding on how to proceed. Thank you SO much for all the lovely comments. I hope this little oneshot helps to ease some of the waiting pain.

DISCLAIMER: NONE OF THE CHARACTERS FROM THE VAMPIRE PROSECUTOR BELONGS TO ME. THIS STORY IS WRITTEN PURELY FOR MY OWN AMUSEMENT AND ANYONE LOVING THE SERIES OUT THERE!

OF MEN AND MONSTERS

Yoo stretched and sleepily squinted at the sunrays that had managed to evade the tightly shut curtains. Groaning she rolled away from the blinding light and burrowed deeper under the covers. Saturday… at last, the long awaited… weekend!? She sat straight up, a morning lay-in forgotten. Eyes wide she reached for her clock and then sighed audibly.

With a thump, she fell back on her mattress, her covers flying even further when the mattress rocked. She still had two more hours. The long anticipated weekend was indeed here. Damned Soon-Bum and his stupid ideas, she cursed, her brows furrowing in annoyance. After their last ridiculously disastrous outing event, everyone had been sceptical when only a week after the daft detective had come up with a plan for their next outing.

But now, almost a month later the idea had somehow come into action. So, with a last longing sigh, Detective Yoo dragged herself from the comfort of her bed and half-crawled to the kitchen. She was not a morning person. Actually, there were remarkably few things she was fond of, but mornings in general had to be at the very bottom of that list. Sulkily she set the coffee running and plopped on a chair, suppressed an angry groan and rested her chin on her palm.

It seemed that only a second later that the infernal pot scared the living daylights out of her. Almost falling over her own legs, she hurried to stop the offensive sound. Yoo cursed again. From the heart. As her routine went, she grabbed a mug and carefully set it on the counter. And then managed to slosh the scorching liquid on her arm. Then, to avoid dropping the whole thing, her body tried to regain her balance, resulting in hitting her toe painfully. She squeezed her palms into tight fists and stared at the ceiling. It was going to be a long weekend.


And so by some miracle it happened that two hours later Detective Yoo found herself squeezed between overly excited Dong-Man and similarly enthusiastic Hwang. When after a couple of tries the older man finally managed to slap Dong-Man across his head and nearly got her as well, she closed her eyes for a thousandth time in last five minutes and prayed for strength to endure the idiots next to her.


She must have dozed off somehow, and with a jolt woke to find a steaming cup in front of her. Without a thought she grabbed the cup and took a tentative sip. Heaven! Her eyes closed on their own accord. Coffee is good,, her mind explained trying to make sense of the world through simple sentences, if only there was a rule of no talking until a second cup...

"As I've heard it's supposed to wake you up, not the other way around." A deep voice dragged her out of her musings and her eyes focused on a smug looking Prosecutor Min. She was not amused. Instead of taking the bait, her eyes turned to scan the surroundings. "Where are we?"

Min regarded her silently for a moment, before turning and making his way towards a small house. Which actually looked to be an only building around, she noticed eyes widening, She could also see Hwang chasing Dong-Man all the way yelling loudly and imitating decapitating the younger man. Despite herself Yoo smiled. A familiar buzz of caffeine was starting to warm her up and the area seemed to be truly beautiful.

Discarding the empty cup onto the back seat she made her way toward the commotion. By now, both men had ended up on the grass, with Soon-Bum sitting on top of Dong-Man and giving a worst evil laughter she had ever heard. Clearing her throat she approached the pair. "So where are we?" With a final slap and yelp, Hwang stood.

He took her elbow and like a proud father gestured over the small house, "This is Dong-Man mothers' sister summer house." Jung-In could feel her brows disappearing under her hairline. Silence followed during which she understood a little too late she was supposed to react. "That's… nice. And what exactly are we doing here?" The older Detectives brows furrowed dangerously but she was saved by Dong-Man himself, when he chirped from her other side, "My aunt was kind enough to agree for us staying here for a weekend. Except...," he looked uncomfortable and Yoo was starting to have serious doubts about this weekend.

"Except when something happens to the house, garden or whatever, there'll be hell for all of us," he finished his explanation doing chopping motions once more. "I see," she was nonplussed. Even their luck couldn't be so rotten like finding another dead body. That is of course if the two idiots don't kill one another… she mused, walking closer to the house.

It was simple and clean – a living room, two small bedrooms with kitchen and bathroom. Min emerged from one of the rooms and pointed across the tiny hall. "That's yours." She nodded and plopped her overnight bag on the doorstep. The little window looked over a little river behind the house, she discovered happily, and made a mental note to visit it later on.

Meanwhile the guys had already found and dragged out an old grill and were excitedly making fire. She snorted. Grabbing a thick blanket from the car she laid it on the grass a bit further from the boys and smoke and sat, listening to the easy chatter and enjoying the beautiful day.


The sun was already low when Jung-In remembered the riverside. The whole day had passed quickly, full of jokes and laughter. Insane amount of meat had been consumed and first bottles of soju had also been opened. She hopped up and promised to be back before dark

She pulled her jacket closer as the slowly setting sun bathed the pathway in cold light. The muddy and narrow road seemed to come alive and Yoo slowed, trying to grasp the amazing sight before her. One side was covered in trees on a slowly rising hilltop, a plump and green wall swallowing the sound of her footsteps, but on the other side was the river. Occasional trees reached their branches to lazily graze the cool surface.

Long ago, moss had claimed the lonely tree trunks and vines had wound their way in an everlasting embrace, their leathery leaves reflecting the slowly dimming light. It all gave the simple road an almost ethereal glow and left a little doubt in the existence of spirits around her. She closed her eyes and when a slow breeze ruffled the leaves above her, the corners of her lips tipped upwards. She could almost hear the fluttering of little wings and the soft caresses of a silken fairy-gown caressing her ankles.

It was peaceful. And gone far too soon. She had only barely started to grasp her surroundings when the last sunrays settled and the little road was bathed in dark. Images of happy pixies gave way to unimaginable creatures lurking around her and she quickly turned on her heel. Yoo was shocked to see how far she had managed to wander. The thick greenish-black cloak shuddered and somewhere she could hear an owl. Wrapping her arms around herself tighter she quickened her pace.

She tried to remember the serene sight that had enchanted her so, but the human mind is a strange thing. Doubts and unease can easily eat trough even the most certain of knowledge, when imagination is let free to wander. Imagination can be your greatest allay and worst enemy. Nothing is as powerful in destroying your defences as yourself, she remembered the words from the past. Shudders ran down her spine when her gaze ran over the ink black surface. Little good is the knowledge now, she grimaced.

After a couple of minutes she was getting worried she might have missed the right turn, Shouldn't she already see the fire or hear the voices? Despair was slowly but steadily seeping under her skin. And when a body suddenly appeared right in front of her she screamed. Having unconsciously been ready for imaginary attack for a while, she managed to land couple of pretty good punches before she was swept off her feet and landed in the mud and leaves with a grunt. "Yoo!" The familiar voice of Tae-Yeon stopped her attack and with a relieved sob she clung to a familiar arm.

Min was surprised by such strong reaction, but remembering her previous responses to ghost stories he really shouldn't be surprised. How can that woman face a murderer in cold blood and yet be afraid of monsters and ghosts? He mused not for the first time. She was shivering slightly, her face tightly pressed against his arm and with a loud sigh Tae-Yeon squeezed her shoulder in comfort. "You were gone for a while and the others were getting worried…" He kept his eyes on the trees behind her.

Somehow that made it all the way worse. Releasing his arm, she stood and started to quickly walk on, embarrassed. Angrily she brushed away the unwanted tear that had managed to escape nad heard his quicker pace follow. Refusing to give in she quickened her own pace in turn. When she didn't hear him anymore, she finally slowed down and tried to figure out if she was more pissed about him following her or letting go, when a hand grasped her shoulder and Jung-In screamed the second time that evening. The sound echoed through the woods when Tae-Yeon stepped in front of her and sighed aloud.

Without a word he grasped her into a too tight and generally uncomfortable embrace. Caught off guard she was crashed against his stony chest, her hands helplessly flailing around. " I was getting worried. Only you can get in trouble in the middle of nothing." Again. With just a couple of words he had managed to bring out all kind of stupid emotions in her and she sniffled. And just like that he released her, grabbed her wrist and started walking in the opposite way she had been walking.

It was quite a while until she noted that fact. So. In her nonsensical fit she had been going the wrong way. She was glad for the darkness hiding her reddening cheeks. When they reached the campsite, he didn't release his hold of her. Even when Hwang let out a loud wolf whistle cackling like an old woman and Dong-Man just grinned like an idiot. She felt the blush spread, as she obediently followed behind Min, feeling like a school girl caught doing things she had no business in.

Reaching the fire, he finally released her, sat her down and shoved an open bottle into her hand. Thankfully she took a big gulp and grimaced as the heat engulfed her insides. When finally after a while she dared to peek at Tae-Yeon from the corner of her eye, she saw him holding a half-empty bottle and staring into the fire.

Their previous exchange confused her. He confused her. At one moment he was a cold and distant and the next... her cheeks warmed on their own accord as she remembered the hug. She hid her face into her knees and did her best to ignored Soon-Bums drunken and suggestive jokes.


By the time they had opened their fifth bottle and Dong-Man started to dance around the fire, almost falling into the pit, twice, she deemed it time for her to go to sleep. She didn't really feel like drinking, but she was really surprised to see Min do. The silent man was even starting to smile. Yoo smirked, almost deciding to stay just to witness the first time he was drinking with their little group, but quickly gave up on the idea. Knowing him, he'd be as funny drunk as he was when sober – none at all.

No one even noticed when she bid the men good night and stood. Dong-Man had already curled up by the fire and was staring at it intently. She shortly thought of putting the fire out, but quickly decided against it. The chances were higher of them freezing to death then setting themselves on fire. Min and Hwang were deep in conversation. Well, both of them were yelling at each other faces without a care of the other. The yard was echoing with shouts of "Vampire, vampire, you're a bloody vampire!" and something ridiculous about not really wanting to. Shaking her head, she didn't even bother with a backward glance – they could be braiding each other's hair and she couldn't care less, she decided sourly.


Some considerable time later, Hwang decided by the amount of empty bottles lying around him and the unfocused look in Mins eyes that it was time to sleep. Over the evening he had come up with a plan to finally get his old friend out of his shell and liven things up. A tiny part of his brain was trying to write the idea off as immature and stupid. He ignored that part. Instead he slurred "I never knew you could get drunk." There was a pause, during which the Prosecutor grabbed a hold of Hwangs shoulder for support and turned to face him, eyes glazed over. "Neither did I, neither did I," he slumped heavily back to his log, staring unseeingly at the flames. Hwang decided to fill the silence with another bottle of soju. The whole night had been full of surprises. Never before had the strict Prosecutor agreed to drink with them. At times Soon-Bum had thought that maybe he couldn't'… Apparently he could, and very well actually.

They had talked about lot things, things he, even if he wanted to, couldn't remember right now. But they had laughed and talked, and knowing them, he had probably even cried a little. For once there wouldn't be anyone to remember that embarrassing drunken habit of his. And then there had been the moment when he had disappeared into the woods with Yoo…

When the flames finally died down and the chill was seeping into his bones he firmly grasped Tae-Yeons shoulder, startling him. Again, his fuzzy brain tried to record that historical moment for the morning, but somewhere after a second he forgot why he was staring at Tae-Yeon and gave up.

"Time to go," Hwang slurred. Min nodded and unsteadily started to make his way towards the house. Dong-Man was sleeping on the damp ground, and just because Hwang was a good man, he kicked the younger one into the ribs, bellowing the pup to "get his ass inside". Soon-Bum laughed aloud when he actually got up and staggeringly started to limp after them.

And confirming the goodness of his soul and heart, Hwang moved to the last part of his is plan. Grabbing Mins elbow in surprisingly tight grip he steered the prosecutor onwards. With a one last look he pushed Tae-Yeon through the doorway. He stood there long enough to confirm the success of his plan and with a light heart passed out on the way to his bedroll.


Jung-In was jolted awake by a weight falling on her knee and sliding up her thigh. She barely managed to swallow her scream when through the darkness she recognised the pair of gleaming eyes. "Min!" she gasped, as her heart rate picked up for completely different reasons. The man stayed silent but the weight on her legs increased. Swallowing hard, Yoo wasn't sure how to proceed and decided on just laying still. Thoughts and endless possibilities ran through her mind at the speed of light. He was still moving closer and reflectively she closed her eyes, only to pop them wide open when the man completely fell over her.

Puzzled she poked his shoulder, "Min?" and a little louder when she still received no answer, "Min! What are you doing?" Only after a longest pause she discovered he had in fact passed out. Incredulous, she stared at the body, until her legs went numb. In every other situation she could come up with, she would welcome the length of masculine body pressing into hers, but this now was just plain uncomfortable, not to mention ridiculous. His hipbone? Was crushing her painfully and she wheezed, "Min! Get off!" as she struggled under his dead weight.

"Jesus… What… MIN!." She gave an incredulous laugh, GOD he was heavy. After additional struggles and not very feminine grunting, she managed to brake free. Heaving, Yoo stood beside the bed and stared at the man sleeping in her bed. Once again she felt a laughter bubble inside her at the absurdity of the whole situation. Throwing an extra blanked over the man, she closed the door.

She was trying to catch her breath staring at the closed door, but the sight which greeted her when she finally turned pushed her pulse straight back up. Beside her esteemed superior currently passed out in her bed, her two other colleagues were sprawled across living room. Disbelievingly she noted that Dong-Man had managed to pass out in the middle of the doorstep, and was now shivering from the cold outside. Resigned, Yoo stepped over the bodies and dragged the puppy-like-boy fully inside. He was even whimpering in his sleep! Shaking her head Yoo threw a blanked over the sad form.

Hwang was making sounds worthy of a chainsaw, so she made sure to stop him. The old man was tougher than his wobbly belly made him look and she hit her toe. Cursing silently, she punched him lightly again, just for a good measure.

And with that Jung-In deemed the evening done for a second time. Without another thought she climbed into unused bed of the Prosecutor and was asleep in a matter of minutes.


Dong-Man opened his eyes and regretted the idea almost immediately. The world was spinning, his head was killing him and the rest of his body felt like it had been trampled over by a herd of elephants. Groaning, he slowly hauled himself into a sitting position, and took in his surroundings. He was inside, thank god, and a brief check assured he still had all his body parts intact. There was however a gigantic bump in the back of his head and incredibly clear imprint of a boot on his stomach.

Hwang was snoring in the centre of the room blissfully, dead to the world. As he listened, the rest of the house was similarly quiet. Gingerly he stood and limped into the bathroom. As the cool water cleared his head, dread began seeping into his veins as memories of last night slowly came back. He had… oh mygod Iamgointodie! Even the voice in his mind was too shrill. Detective Hwang had.., and I did… and Prosecutor Min! He grabbed hold of the sink to support his shaking legs.

Apologise. I have to apologise! And maybe they'll let me live, he stared at his reflection, lip trembling. Slowly he edged towards the Prosecutors room. He didn't quite remember what the outcome of the night had been, but if already the beginning had been pretty humiliating, he was almost glad he didn't. He pressed his ear against the door. Silence. He swallowed and knocked. Light shuffling. Squeezing his eyes shut, he knocked louder. This time there was some answering grumble, which he took as an invite to enter. The man seemed still sleeping, and Dong-Man cleared his throat. The sleeping body gave even a louder grumble and then a tousled head emerged.

"Whassaneed?" prosecutor Yoo slurred sleepily. Dong-Man was too terrified to speak, so he did the next best thing. He pointed his finger at the groggy woman and let out a noise resembling wail. Yoo frowned and rubbed her eyes, "what time is it?" Too shocked to answer he quickly backed out, shutting the door with a bang. Hwang had managed to drag himself onto a sofa and was staring at him emptily. "Prosecutor Min," Choi Dong-Man stuttered, " and Prosecutor Yoo.." the words died on his lips as he flailed his hands helplessly. The slow answering smile on the older mans face was enough to send the poor guy stumbling out of the door.

With a devilish grin Hwang switched sides and slept on.


The way back was mostly spent in silence. Hwang had fallen asleep again as soon as they took off and Dong-Man was fearfully staring out of the window, resembling a kicked puppy now more than ever. Jung-In briefly wondered, what had occurred to scare the boy so, but soon figured, she'd rather not know. And Min? She almost snorted. If she hadn't experienced it herself, she would never believe that the man who passed out on her bed yesterday and the immaculate body behind the wheel could be the same person. When she had been woken the second time by the tousled looking Prosecutor and he had demanded to know why in the hell was she sleeping in his bed, she had only managed to stare at him incredulously for a whole minute.

And when she had finally patiently explained that it had in fact been him who had decided to pass out on her bed while she was still in it, the insufferable man had only offered a curt nod. "I guess it is okay then," and then had managed to usher her out. Still baffled, she had turned and found a yawning Hwang facing her. "Slept well?" the way the older man had arched his brow had made Yoo rather uncomfortable, "Yes, very." Her curt answer had only served to crack the man up further, and thoroughly pissed, she had slammed her own bedroom door in his face.

When Min stopped the car in front of her apartment, she startled back to present and stole a quick glance at his face. He was staring at the wheel with a surprisingly exposed expression. She did a double take but the hesitant look was gone. His brow rose in silent question when he caught her staring and shaking her head she quickly hopped out.

She was still standing there when the car disappeared behind the corner. Somehow that brieflook in his eyes had spoken more of him that words ever had. Yoo smiled. She decided she had liked the trip after all.

A/N: I have no idea, if the vampires in VP universe can actually get drunk, but they did here. Poor Yoo really xD If you enjoyed this little piece, please let me know! Any suggestions, what situation you would like to see our favourite crime fighting group tackle next? As always, all the feedback is greatly appreciated and cherished.

Love, NQ