Disclaimer: all characters and copyright belong to Stephanie Meyer. It's just for my amusement.
They say love is blind.
It has been nearly five years and here I am back on this familiar stretch of road that leads to my father's home. I was chugging the last remnants of my red bull, when my mind was bombarded with the thoughts of him. My life could have been easy as breathing with him. I have always believed that things happen for a reason. A lot has happen since I left five years ago. I've been engaged, lost my best friend, and graduated from culinary school. Over the last few years the hardest part was realizing how I let the love of my life and best friend get way.
Jacob and I had been best friends since we were babies. I was a year older than Jake. After my mom left and his mother died and us being only kids with single fathers. We shared that bond that none of the other kids our age had. Our dad's joked about we were like each other's shadows. I enjoyed him playing his guitar, working on cars as well as our yearly routine of cliff diving. It wasn't till after graduations that we decided that no matter what happen we would always be best friends. We stole our father's liquor the fourth of July before I left for school. We had Embry drive us to Forks tattoo shop called INKED. Jake and I both got matching tattoos; the Chinese symbol for friendship. I had mine proudly displayed on the back of my neck whereas Jake had gotten his on his lower abdomen right above where the waist of his jeans sat on the left side. That night we decided that we wanted to give each other something that we didn't want anyone else to have. It was a night of pure passion and love that we shared as we were one another's first.
Things between Jake and I seem to grow apart once I started school and Jake started his senior year. I started to date Edward after I found out he was dating a girl name Lizzie that he met hanging out with Embry and Quil. Edward and I dated about a year before asking me to marry him. I was stupid and I said yes. Who would have thought Bella Swan getting married? Jake hated the idea that I was actually going to marry him. Jake hated Edward. I hated Lizzie. It was long after that we just went our separates ways. Edward and I along with his sister Alice planned this beautiful wedding. We sent out invitations about three months before the wedding. I sent one to Jake and Lizzie to be polite but, all I got was a cold phone call from Jake with his exact words were your marrying him? After that Jake hardly called the closer it got to the wedding we were not even speaking. It was two days before the wedding and my dad had come into town we had a long talk about how it was to get married at such a young age and how Renee left us after just a few short years. He told me that he was proud of me and he just wanted me to be happy and if Edward made me happy to go for it. But I was the only one that knew that he didn't make me happy. So after that and I called Edward and told him that I no longer wanted to get married. It wasn't to long after that we no longer worked as a couple either. We were totally different and I guess that I kept comparing him to Jake, My dad was telling me how Jake thought I was married I told him to tell him no different because he was being an ass.
I visited over the last year and half but only a few months ago did I see Jake. Angela and I went to a little bar called the Wolf's Call outside of Forks one night while visiting. Angela and I had been there for about an hour talking about school and how much our lives had changed since we graduated. I had a pretty good buzz going when I thought I was totally hallucinating when I saw Jake come up on the stage with his guitar. I knew the music it was one of my favorite songs I couldn't believe he had learned it in that short period of time. The song was perfect for that was exactly how I felt with him out of my life. While on the other hand Liz was right there in the front of him swaying to the music looking like a hooker groupie. Jake's deep, husky voice cut deep inside me as he continued to sing.
I'll pick up these broken pieces 'til I'm bleeding
If that'll make you mine
Cause there'll be no sunlight
If I lose you, baby
There'll be no clear skies
If I lose you, baby
Just like the clouds
My eyes will do the same if you walk away
Everyday, it will rain, rain, rain
Oh don't just say, goodbye
Don't just say, goodbye
As he was ending the song I was in tears and with that I simply got up and walked away from him that night.
So now that brings me here back in Forks parked in front of my father's home dreading, facing my past. Damn, looks like my past is walking straight for me. OH SHIT I slowly rest my head on my steering wheel hoping that he will just keep walking. But low and behold a tap on my driver's window brings me eye to eye with him. I rolled down the window, and the urge to vomit hits me hard as the knots in my stomach clench painfully as the familiar scent of Jake slapped me in the face.
"Hi." I almost groaned on the spot. The slight hitch in my voice sounded pathetic, even to my ears, and I had a strong urge to melt right through the car. Four, painstaking years had passed since I've seen Jake, and all I could say was Hi?
His obsidian eyes narrowed quickly in anger and a deep frown marred his tanned face.
"Very eloquent I see," he sneered, retracting his hand from the window, "I guess all that time in college didn't help your vocabulary much, did it Bella?" He moved away from the car and crossed his arms across his chest, the prominent muscles in his arms bulging with the small act.
My heart plummeted to my stomach, and I could do nothing but stare at him in a mixture of disbelief and hurt. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine the sweet, caring boy I gave my virginity to reacting in such a manner, but his disdainful tone cut me deeper than I expected it to.
Far deeper than I'd ever wanted.
"Are you fucking joking?" I pushed open the door and flew out, and slammed it shut behind me, not really caring if the door fell off its hinges at the moment. I clenched and unclenched my fists, and marched right up to him, pushing my face as close to his as I possibly could. "Really Jake, is that how you're going to talk to me?" My nose flared and I started to see red. "Four years I haven't seen you, but at least I tried to be nice," I allowed the slightest of smirks to cross my lips, "At least I remembered the manners my mother taught me, what the fuck happened to yours?"
A dark look crossed his face and he unfolded the arms from his chest. We were so close, that I could feel his warm, erratic breathing washing over my face, and I had no warning to brace myself before he pushed me up against the car. He stalked towards me, and eyed me like an enraged lion about to rip the meat from his prey, and placed both arms on either side of my head. He closed the distance between us, and I closed my eyes as if he was going to kiss me. But his deep, labored breath brought me swiftly back to reality, and my eyes popped open.
"I don't use manners on traitors Bella," He whispered harshly, and without warning grabbed me by the back of the neck. He pulled my face closer to his and turned me around, pushing my stomach up against the car.
"I hear you got that tattoo removed," He said bitterly, and pulled my hair away from my neck with more force than necessary. "Let's see if it's true."
"Does it look like I had it removed, ass wipe?" I grumbled in dissatisfaction, "You're really stupid if you think I'd ever get it removed." His hands left my hair and I whipped around to face him, the hurt plain on my face. "Why the hell would you think I would ever remove it? You know how much you mean to me."
He was still silent. "Let me guess, you got yours removed?"
Jake was still unnaturally silent, and I pushed away from him. "I guess I don't mean that much to you, right? Ha," I laughed ruefully, "And you call me a traitor. It was a mistake coming back here." I murmured and stalked away.
After slamming the front door shut, I slowly let my body slide down the base of the door, my ass hitting the ground with a loud thud. Hot salty tears inched down my cheeks, the tears feeling hot as fire as they slide down over my lips. How had things gotten like this between Jake and I?
"Bells is that you?" I heard my dad ask as he was making his way down the stairs, bringing me out of my ridiculous state.
"Yea" I said jumping up wiping my face with the sleeve of my jacket, and I ran straight in to his arms as I rounded corner of the hall. I hugged him with everything I had because other than Jake, I missed him like crazy; I was definitely a daddy's girl through and through.
"Bella, are you crying?" he asked in a concerned voice.
I nodded my head. There was no way that I could speak over the lumps in my throat.
Shit! "Because, I missed you so much." I whispered hoarsely, hoping that he would not ask any more questions. I didn't know what else to tell him, the memory of Jake and his condescending tone still fresh on my mind.
"Honey, I missed you too. So, let's go get some coffee and you tell your old man what your plans are now that you are back home?" he mentioned slowly setting me back down on my wobbly feet. We sat in a comforting silence drinking our coffee.
"Sweetie, I am so glad that you are home. Maybe you could cook for your old man and save me some money instead of having to eat at the diner. You know you just missed Jake."
"Umm, actually I didn't. I saw him before I came in." I enlightened him rolling my eyes. "You know Jake he was his usual charming self." I said sarcastically taking a sip of my coffee.
"Well, in that case what are you going to do?" He questioned with raised eyebrows.
"Nothing, I have an appointment Monday with Mrs. Witbank's about some condos that are up for leasing and I plan on opening a bakery."
"Bell's that some more than nothing and how are you going to pay for all this?"
"I've been hustling drugs. What you didn't know?"
It took everything for me not to burst out in to hysterics but watching the color in his face drain was so worth the silent choking I was enduring.
"DAD! It was a joke. I am just messing with you! I am actually investing into some really good stocks and I did several wedding cakes so let's just say I don't have any money problems. I didn't take all those extra business classes for nothing. Oh shit you haven't seen my new car have you?"
"Bells." He looked at me with disproval.
"What? Oh dad it's just the word shit. Come you'll love it." I said standing up dragging him to follow me outside. Once outside I began to do my happy dance while Charlie was laughing at me.
"Bells you bought a car, why not another truck?"
"I wanted something different and fast that old truck would barely go 55mph. Do you like it? It is a 2010 Ford Mustang GT convertible; it has leather interior with the chrome package, and V8 engine. Oh! Dad check this out it's a stick. Yep that's right your baby can drive a stick." I said raising my eyebrows.
"It's a beauty! What color is this?" he asked sliding his hand along the hood.
"It's what they call charcoal gray. I love it and the payments aren't that bad every month either."
As I stood there watching my dad inspect the car, playing with the seat, the radio, opening the roof and cranking and revving the engine something caught my eye. A few houses down sat Jake's black Dodge charger and from where I was standing I couldn't tell if he was in the car, but from the heating building in my spine I could feel his intense gaze.
'Dad, why don't you take it for a drive." I said taking my duffle bag from the backseat and throwing it over my shoulder.
"Are you sure Bell's?" He asked with squinted eyebrows.
"Yes, Dad have fun! Oh yea and don't get a ticket." I said laughing up the front steps to the porch.
"Ha! Very funny Bells!" He said with his head raised right above the windshield.
"Okay, well I am going to go take a shower and get comfortable. I see you when you get back. Be careful dad."
"Always am." He said slowly backing out of the drive.
As I walked back in to my childhood bedroom the fluid of memories of when things were not so damn complicated hit me all at once. God I miss Jacob so much, he was my best friend, my other half and now we don't know anything about one another. The tears started to swell in my eyes as I took in my picture board above my desk in the corner. There were pictures of the girls and I at school. Most of the pictures were of Jake and I growing up over the years of us at the beach, in his garage, my senior prom, and the cliff diving trips. As I glanced over all the different pictures I notice one that took my breath away, it was of Jake and I on the fourth of July. I was sitting in Jake's lap wearing my black bikini with red stars, him in his swim trunks we were still wet from the beach and we were looking at each other. I was amazed that even then you could tell that we were in love but he and I were both so blind.
My thoughts were interrupted from a loud banging on the front door I slowly bounced down the stairs confused, maybe dad forgot his keys, due to his excitement. Swinging the door open I came up short as I took in the dishevelment of Jake. We stood there in an uncomfortable silence for a few minutes before I spoke up.
"What do you want?" I asked crossing my arms over my chest and shifting my weight to one leg.
Running his hand through his hair and pinching the bridge of his nose he asked softly, "What did you mean coming back here was a mistake? Are you staying in Forks?"
"Jake what do you want?" I said shifting to my other leg.
"Damn it answer the question!" He said with a angry huff.
"I don't think it's any of your damn business. Now kindly get your ass off my property, you're trespassing."
"Really Bella cut the shit! Are you staying here in Forks what about San Francisco? Where is your precious husband?"
"Black this is not an interrogation room! If you weren't trying to be an ass to me for five minutes since you found out that I was getting married you might have known that I never got married." I said annoyed slamming my hand on my waist.
Shaking his head in disbelief "What! You never married Edward?"
"Damn Jake not only have you become a major asshole you seem to be quite deaf too." We stood there in silence a few moments before finally breaking. "No I didn't marry Edward. I am moving to Seattle in a few weeks."
He raised a brow. "Is this a permanent thing? Or are you planning on high tailing it in another few weeks?"
I almost said something nasty, but I bit my tongue. I couldn't stand to argue with this boy, it was taking just about all of my energy to stand in his presence without the memories of the past flooding back to me. Either that or my temper was in a constant state of fervor. Only Jake could manage to bring such emotions from me. I turned from the door and stalked into the house, and from the footsteps trailing behind me, I knew Jake was hot on my heels.
"It's permanent, as far as I know. Why? Does that make you happy? Or does it put a damper on your life, now that I'm back here."
The footsteps instantly stop. I could just picture the flurry of emotions streaming across Jake's smooth face, but I didn't dare turn around. I wanted to see what he would do.
"I came, I heard, I'm leaving." He growled. His voice was deep, stony, and angry. I could just picture the rage painted plainly on his face, and by the time I did turn to face him, he was gone. No longer was he standing just feet from me; the lone, dark carpet that once held his weight was cold and alone. A cool, ghostly wind filtered in through the open door, dousing my face and clothes, and I was left, wondering what direction my life would take now that I was back.
AN: I know I have been away for awhile. I hope to be back in business after a major writers block. For those that have followed me from the very beginning, I hope you enjoy what I have in store. I cannot promise to update every week, but when I do, I can give my word that it'll be good. And don't worry, I haven't abandoned any of my other stories-namely 'What happens in Vegas' I am just...trying to find a good way to close the curtains. That's all.