My only love has gone to heaven,
In this world of FF7
Why couldn't SQUARE make me die too?
"But they killed Aeris, those no-good foos"
That's what Barret would say I guess
"Them stupid guys at SQUARE sittin' at their desks"
They left Tifa here with me
And made us never have to go pee
It's all messed up, I say it's true
We couldn't even go #2
They made me go crazy, those rotten freaks
Walking with glasses, those stupid geeks
What I'm saying is all so true
FF7 is nothing but stinky poo
Those guys at SQUARE, killed me just like that
Killed by Sephy, that no-good rat
Why'd they kill me just so fast?
Because they thought I was the past
Callin' me an ancient, when I'm just a girl
Killing me like that, dropping the pearl
Or materia, or whatever you call it
I don't give a dang, cuz they dropped me in a pit
It was a pit of water...I guess
Because when I woke up, I was all wet
Yeah that's right, I ain't dead
They lied to you, just like Fred
Fred was the guy who used to play Cloud
But he got carried away from our crowd
Yep, they just hired New Cloud
He wasn't really all that proud
Because...we're only actors!!
Cloud is mine, Aeris!! Don't you see??
You died so fast because of me!!
Now he'll forget you cuz you are dead!!
Why don't you just go find Fred??
He'll understand you, he was rejected too!
Maybe he'll even like you!
Just forget Cloud, he's mine now!!
If you come back you'll go POW!!
Hahahahahahahaha!!! No one cares!!
Not even Seph, cuz he's up there!!
Up in heaven where you won't be,
Because you belong someplace where you can't be free!!
Tryin' to steal my boy, well no you can't!
I'll scare you away with an Ancient chant!!!
He's mine, girl
Go find your own, maybe he'll give you a loan
So you won't have to live in a church
You'll live in a tree...a birch!
Hahahahhahahahaha!! He's mine, girl!!
Remember me? Of course you do
I'm the no-good guy, the no-good foo
I'm the guy wit the big gun-arm
Don't worry kids, it'll do no harm
I'm the guy wit the big potty mouth
I live in Midgar, I live down south
You can visit me, and my kid Marlene
I'll be there wit her till she's eighteen
I'll be like 50 then, I'll want to retire
I'll need someone to hire
Anyways, I gotta go
Gotta meet my friend, his name is Joe
I'm not really talkin' about FF7
But...Oh shoot!! I gotta go, it's 12:11!!
I'm Yuffie, that girl who stole your stuff
I'm a ninja, a brat, I think I've said enough
Ya know, this thing we've been doing is really fun
I got a lot of excercise by having to run
Like when I stole your materia in Wutai
I ran so fast, I thought I would die!
So like, what's up? What's up, you guys?
Let's go to McDonald's and get some fries
The game is pretty fun, but I miss Aeris
After she died she moved to Paris
Cuz we're just actors, nothin' but that
But in real life Sephy's still a rat
He thinks he's so good and smart and all
He didn't even know how to go to the mall!!
That's where I go when I'm off the set
But!! I'll still be around, so don't fret
Well I gotta go, I'm really bored
Gotta go hop in my Dodge Truck Ford!
No wait...I'm only 16!! I guess that's out
I gotta go, now that's no doubt
Vincent: Guys! I don't wanna do this!! It's retarded! Standing around saying poems!!
Tifa: Shut up, Vincent!! If you don't wanna go then don't go!! God!
Cloud: Shut up, Tifa... Yeah Vincent, if you don't want to go then don't. And they aren't POEMS!!! THEY'RE THINGS YOU WANT TO SAY!! IT COULD BE A POEM BUT IT ISN'T REALLY!!
Aeris: You suck, Tifa.
Yuffie: She's talking about your poem, airhead.
Cloud: It's not POEM!!
Tifa: Oh... I DO NOT!!
Aeris: Do too.
Tifa: Do not.
Aeris: Do too.
Tifa: DO NOT!!
Everyone except Tifa: DO TOO!!
Aeris: See? Even Sephiroth agrees!!
Sephiroth: Hey!! When Do I go??
Red XIII: Go when you want!! Who doesn't want to go?
Vincent raises his hand err...claw.
Sephiroth: Cloud, can I go now?
Sephiroth: Okay!! Here I go...
My name is Selphie yeah yeah it's Selphie
When I'm not on the stage, I'm really peppy!!
I said yeah...ahh... My name is Selphie
When I'm not on the set I'm really peppy!!
I killed Aeris Gainsborough in disk 1
Only one was me, who thought it was real fun
Yeah, I was the one who was down with that
But all the rest think I'm a rat
I'm Selphie, yeah yeah I'm--
Cloud: Wait!! Wait, wait, wait!! You're not SELPHIE, you're SEPHY!!!
And you are NEVER PEPPY!!! Why are you doing a cheer???
Sephiroth: Huh??? But...but...Tifa said I was supposed to be like Selphie and be like hyper!! I'm only glad I didn't wear that skirt!!
Tifa is standing in the backround snickering.
Tifa: (snicker)...Okay!! Okay!! Sephiroth...(laugh,choke)..be...yoursel- AHHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!
Everyone glares at her. Especially Sephiroth..
Sephiroth:.....Actually...that cheer was kinda...fun.
Everyone stares at him.
Tifa: I know!! Isn't it!??!! I met up with Selphie in FF8 awhile ago and she told me that her cheer was really fun!! So she changed the parts to match up with Sephiroth...I would've done it...but...I liked my POV better...
Aeris: That's why you suck, fart monkey.
Tifa: Don't call me a fart monkey!! Butt-faced retard!!
Cid: Shut up, girls!! Besides...you're BOTH turds...
Aeris & Tifa: YOU STAY OUT OF THIS!!
Red XIII: Shut up, up-chuck!! he's been watching Daria again!!
Cid: What'd you call me????
Silence...then Aeris runs in the backround screaming.
Tifa: Hey!! Get back here!!
Aeris: No!! You...YOU...YOU MAN-KILLER!!
Tifa: How...DARE YOU?????!!
Aeris: I just DID, you butt-head!
Tifa: Stop callin' me that!!!
Cloud: (sigh)...Maybe we should end the story here...
Sephiroth: But!! I didn't finish the cheer!!
Sephiroth: No, wait! I can do it!! Wait!!
My name is Selphie, yeah, and I'm a hero, yeah, and I can do it
So check me out...
Cloud: (sigh) THE END.
Everyone: THE END.