People, Places, and Things

A/N: These challenges were constructed by my asking a few friends to name two South Park characters and a random noun that I could base oneshots around. None of these are related, so you can skip around as much as you like, dear reader!

There are various pairings included in this, though not all chapters are romance-based; those that are will be marked with "xoxo" in case you aren't interested in reading about that particular couple.


Craig & Kenny (xoxo) - "Sweat"

For myself (guilty!)


"I just don't understand your obsession with rock concerts."

A pair of cobalt-blue eyes darted across a brightly-lit laptop screen, hardly glancing in the direction of the subject their owner was speaking to, who happened to be the blonde boy sitting on the bed across the room. The second pair of eyes, belonging to the aforementioned blonde, rolled in regards to the other's statement.

"I mean, I like the music just like you do. I just don't wanna see the singers up on stage screaming their lungs dry and sweating to death under shitty lighting."

"Dude," the blonde began, speaking his first piece in this conversation, "the concerts are what show you all the feeling that goes into each song! Plus, the guys that just walked offstage in that video you're watchin' were sexy as hell, so you can't tell me they don't look good covered in sweat."

"But imagine hugging that. You'd be covered in another guy's sweat..."

"You don't seem to mind being 'covered in another guy's sweat' when it comes to us..."

"That - that's different." The blue-eyed boy's ears heated at the same instant a scowl crossed his face. "Fuck. Shut your face, McCormick."

"And should I mention that sweat is usually the least of our worries?"

"Dude, quit."

"I'm just sayin' you can't complain about-"

"I can complain all I want."

"About hot, sweaty men? Why would you wanna do that?"

"Because I don't wanna talk about half-naked rock artists drenched in bodily fluids."



"Sure, Craig."

"Goddamn it, Kenny, stop giving me that look."

Kenny, who was enjoying the conversation more than Craig thought was strictly necessary, snorted and pushed on the bed beneath him to hoist himself up into a sitting position. "Speaking of, why don't you come back over here and-"

"Whatever is going to come out of your mouth, I do not want to hear it."

A smirk blossomed on the McCormick's face, and he continued in a more deliberate tone. "Come back over here and lemme show you what bodily fluids I had in mind."

"That sounds gross." Craig lowered the lid of his laptop down and heaved a sigh, fighting the smile that tugged at his lips. "You're a hopeless case."

"Not quite yet, babe. Now c'mon, show me how hard you can rock."