WARNING!

This story contains some serious things that people all over the world have to deal with. I'm not exactly an expert on the topics in this story, but I am trying my best!


It was late October that Izaya started to notice something was missing. His normal everyday life seemed off; something big had changed. There was a big empty gap in his days between three and four and he was certain he was usually very occupied during this particular hour. When it finally hit him on that misty October afternoon, a chuckle of delight left his lips and his rapid typing ceased all at once. A confused Namie paused from her file organizing to glance at the giggling informant in curiosity.

"What?" she questioned, sending a cold stare his way before standing up straight and dropping the files onto the table.

"I knew something wasn't quite right. I'm going out to bother Shizu-chan!" Izaya chanted, jumping out of his chair elegantly and crossing the room to grab his coat from where it was thrown lazily onto the couch. Bothering the taller blond had become something of routine to him around last year, he just loved the excitement in the chase around Ikebukuro. Sometime last month, the raven had been searching for Shizuo in the crowded streets of the city, but come up with strangely no results and decided to give up. From then till now, he'd kind of just forgotten about it. The informant had been very busy fixing up this gang war lately though.

"So you haven't heard?" Namie's words stopped him in his tracks. "Pft, some information broker you are." She stared at him, a smug look on her face. The informant gazed, baffled for a while before his typical smirk was once again plastered onto his face, and the look of absolute hatred burning in Namie's eyes only made him grin more.

"Would you like to explain to me exactly what you're talking about, Namie?" he replied, in a patronizing voice, the tone one would use with an ignorant child. The woman scoffed and turned her back on him, continuing to look through files.

"If you want to see Shizuo, you'll have to go to the hospital. I'll say no more than that," now this really was strange. Izaya was sure that the blond would have already gone through all the broken bones necessary to be unbreakable. Continuing to ponder over what Shizuo would be doing at the hospital, Izaya threw on his everyday black coat and walked with grace out of his office and the thoughts of the blond didn't leave his mind until he was right outside the hospital.

An exhausted nurse, early thirties, led him to Shizuo's hospital room. She looked like one of those women who used to be pretty, but wasn't anymore and hasn't quite accepted that fact. Her lips were coated in a too bright red, making the pale white of her face look all the more pale white. The mascara on her eyes was overdone and just looked silly more than attractive. As they walked, her mid-heel black shoes clicked on the floor, and she spoke in a monotone voice about how the Shizuo had ended up here. Izaya absorbed every last word. And slowly, shock, fear, anguish, happiness, followed by some paranoia, then a whole lot of confusion, flew through him all too quickly and he had to stop to process everything. His conveyer turned around to face him; her puffed up lips turning to a frown.

"I'm sorry sir. We're doing all that we can to help him?" she said her tone soft and smooth now. Was she trying to comfort him, after giving him news that should have thrilled the man? It took him a while, but he eventually took note of the truly hurt expression he was carrying and quickly replaced it with that of his common smirk. He wasn't upset. Just surprised.

"That's fine. I'm sure you're doing a good job of taking care of him," he said, watching the nurse's frown turn back into an ugly smile before she turned around and continued walking before entering an elevator. Izaya followed her in and stood right beside her, what one would consider an invasion of personal space but the nurse didn't react at all.

"Are you and Shizuo close friends then? Or family?"

"None of the above." The informant looked down at the woman with an evil grin. She just threw a repulsive grin right back at him and her ignorance was starting to annoy Izaya.

Once they reached the door to Shizuo's room, Stella (Izaya had actually taken the time to glance at her name tag, figuring he may start seeing her a lot more often) knocked gently and called out Shizuo's name before opening the door slowly. Izaya waited outside until he was motioned in by Stella and the disgusted look on Shizuo's face when he walked in made him happy. But only for a second. He was joyful, until he analyzed Shizuo's condition. Until his mind processed the image that was right before his eyes.

The blond was hooked up to various different machines via various different tubes coming out of various parts of his body. He wore typical hospital clothing, but it looked worn out and Izaya wasn't used to him without his usual bartender get up. The terrible bags under his eyes proved his exhaustion and his heavy, irregular breathing filled up the silence in the room. He looked so weak and frail, he was white as his bed sheets and it was truly a horrifying site.

"Stop staring flea. I know it's bad..."

His voice was hoarse and it was almost painful to listen to. Willingly, Izaya moved his gaze up to the ceiling. For once in his life, he really was speechless and it frustrated him. After a while of this awkward silence that should never have existed, Stella silently left the room, leaving the two men alone.

"Well flea? Why'd you come here?" It was stupid to say that it was because he cared about the blond. That was something he hadn't figured out until just now, because seeing Shizuo like this was actually hurting him, so that was the only logical explanation. If he accepted these feelings but did not embrace them, they would leave as soon as they arrived. That was his theory anyway.

"Well, I heard the rumors, but I just had to see this for myself! I just couldn't believe that my little Shizu-chan has ca-" that was as far as he got before his voice started cracking. That kind of whimpering sound you make when you're trying so desperately hard not to cry escaped his lips and he glanced at the blond, hoping he hadn't noticed. The concerned look in his eyes told him that yes, Shizuo had noticed. "My little Shizu-chan...Living in this hospital. Living with cancer."

"I'm not living with cancer. I'm dying with cancer."

And he still didn't believe it, even after witnessing it with his own eyes. Surely it was just impossible, Shizuo was so...well, he was so Shizuo? How could someone like him end up with such a horrific medical condition? Stella had explained (rather badly) to Izaya that Shizuo's whole body was basically made out of cancer. That was a rather immature way to describe it, and it was likely to be far from accurate, but hey, it was close enough from what the raven could make out.

After spending so many years trying to kill the blond, hearing him tell Izaya that he was dying put him in a lot of unnecessary pain.

Then and there, he self-consciously promised himself to stay with Shizuo until the inevitable happened.


So, what did you guys think? I tried pretty hard. This story is gonna be a heart breaker!

Thanks for reading, I'd really appreciate if you guys would review too?:)

New chapter soon!