Title: A Child In Every Port

Author: Stephen

Series: TOS


Codes: K/f, S/Tpg

Summary: Doctor McCoy wonders where the Captain is going every time the ship docks at a Starbase.

Note: This story plays off the reputation, however unjustified, that Captain Kirk was always getting the girl. For the purpose of this story Kirk's first five year mission ended six years before and he was thirty-three when it begin. This means he is forty-four in this story. It ignores part of Generations. You have been warned.


Doctor Leonard McCoy went up to feel his now missing beard. He'd been drafted back in to Starfleet, and while regulations didn't precisely prohibit the beard, he didn't believe it was professional for a doctor on a starship to have one, so he had gotten rid of it. He'd found that he'd missed it, and it had only been a couple weeks since he'd shaved it off.

He'd also had apparently missed the Captain, judging from the fact the center seat was occupied by Spock when the turbolift doors opened. The half Vulcan had a slight furrow in his brow, barely detectable, at least to those who didn't know him well.

"So Spock, did the Captain stick you with in port command again?" McCoy asked, as he came to stand at Spock's left.

"The Captain need to speak personally to Admiral Nhaisi, and said he had some personal matters to handle afterwards and would not be back aboard until 1800," Spock said. "He did not, as you put it, stick me with port command. I am merely awaiting the return of Mister Chekov before I attend to personal matters of my own on the Starbase."

"Hot date tonight, then?" McCoy asked, with a big smile. He didn't think Spock dated, and if Kirk was out, he at least would have one fellow officer not with a lady.

"I prefer my dates chilled, Doctor," Spock said drily, as the lift doors opened. "Mister Chekov, you are ten point three five minutes early."

"I didn't think you would mind, Mister Spock," Chekov replied. McCoy watched Spock's eyebrow ascend. "I would half been earlier, but your Yeoman stopped me to have me pass along that she was able to get the stains out of your slate formal robes, and has left them out for you."

"Very well, Mister Chekov, you have the Bridge," Spock said. "The Captain is unavailable until 1800, and I will be unavailable until 0800. If you have an issues, contact Mister Scott, unless as the Captain told me, there is a direr emergency, under penalty of flogging." Before words could be put together by either, Spock stood and strode over to the turbolift.

"Did he just threaten to have you whipped if you interrupted whatever undoubtedly boring scientific task he has planned?" McCoy asked as the doors closed behind the Vulcan.

"No, sir," Chekov said. "Mister Spock said if the Captain is interrupted, I'd be flogged on the Captain's orders."

"Jim has to have a hot date," McCoy muttered under his breath before departing the bridge. It was 1400 hours, so he was probably preparing. Maybe he could stop Jim from using that damned Number 9 perfume.

The lift came to a stop on the Captain's floor. McCoy walked up to the Captain's door, but before he could press the announcer, Mister Sulu passed by, a toddler in his arms. "If you're looking for the Captain, he's already left the ship, Doctor," Sulu said. "I heard he was heading for Mario's Pizza. You might be able to catch him."


Mario's Pizza was a loud place filled with children. It was not where McCoy expected to find the Captain of the Enterprise with a hot lady. He'd expected a intimate place, with a bar, perhaps, where he could watch Kirk until his date slapped him and left. It didn't happen often, but during his first five year mission one of Jim's dates had actually knocked a tooth loose. Generally Captain Kirk left with the lady and barely made it back in time for Alpha Shift.

There was a more intimate section, but it was empty. The rest of the Pizzeria was not, it was full of playing children in the game section. The chefs were making fresh pizza in full view of an assembled crowd of kids, tossing the dough into the air, rolling it along their arms on edge until it flopped down on to a waiting iron plate. The sauce and toppings were added with a similar fair, and McCoy caught himself entranced by it, as the chefs broke out into song.

"Pizza, Pizza, mozzarella, Parmesan,

Spread the salsa, the tomato's on.

Slice the cheese, maybe provolone

Hold the topping, this one's cheese alone

Pizza, Pizza, mozzerella, Parmesan

Let's have some sausage, pepperoni

Slice it all, ham and bologna

Hold the anchovies, special order on

Pizza, Pizza, mozzerella, Parmesan

McCoy was still entranced when he was nearly run over by two children he judged to be eight or nine years old. As they rushed by him into the game section, he heard the Captain's voice call out.

"Jimmy, Tiberia, no running among the tables," the Captain's firm ordered came from behind him.

The two children chorused their acceptance of the order with an "Aye, sir." McCoy thought they looked oddly familiar as if they had a family resemblance to someone he knew. Both were blue eyed blonds, the girl's hair slightly curly.

"Bones! What brings you to Mario's Pizzeria," Jim said as McCoy turned towards his voice. "Or as my little Tiberia calls it, the bestest place in the whole Starbase."

"Your little Tiberia?" McCoy asked, and they walked toward a table with view of the gamming area.

"Yes, she's number eleven," Jim replied. "Her older brother Jimmy is number seven. Their mother, Heidi, is one of three mothers of my children who caught twice. I think she wants to talk to you about my contraceptive injections, Bones."

"What contraceptive injections?" Bones replied. "You're allergic. Wait, was that the fat blonde who slapped me on this Starbase about eight years ago? About 160 centimeters, D cups?"

"That would be Heidi," Jim said. "She and Brigit run the Chocolate House." He pointed to a boy with dark hair. "That's Brigit's son Jacob, it's his seventh birthday today. I was lucky to arrive on time. Kids don't always understand when their father misses their birthday parties. And I've missed a lot of them. I should be here for Tiberia's eighth, tomorrow. I haven't managed to hit Jimmy's yet."

"Just how many do you have?" Bones asked, watching Tiberia climb on an old motorcycle ride.

"Thirty-four," Jim replied, his eyes scanning the game area. "Starbase 12 has the most of them at the moment. Somewhere around here is little Era, she's the last at the moment. She was actually born on Earth, but her mother is now XO here. There she is." A little five-year-old with blond curly hair, had just joined Tiberia on the back of the motorcycle.

"I hope that's enough for you," Bones remarked. "How long has this been going on?"

"My visits to my children?" Jim asked, as he spotted Jimmy standing up on a table. "Jimmy, get down from there! I've been doing it at every stop I have them since I regained command of the Enterprise last year."

"That's good, Jim, I'm sure your children look forward to your visits," Bones said. "I know my daughter does. I hope thirty-four is enough for you ... but you did say at the moment."

"Bones, my oldest is twenty-five. I've going to be grandfather soon due to my oldest daughter. While I'll never be able to settle down with one of their mothers, so they'll take my name, those days are behind me."

Bones huffed, as they found seats. "You can't teach an old dog new tricks. Why didn't you ever tell me?"

"You were too interested in living through my conquests to hear about the results of them," Jim shrugged. "Personally, I think you missed a lot by deciding to be faithful to your ex-wife even though she wasn't to you, and divorced you a long time ago."

"Point. I think your son wants you."

A few seconds later, Captain Kirk was dragged to something called a corvette simulator. For the next few hours, they watched, played, and ate with Captain Kirk's children. Eventually they stumbled out of the Pizzeria, stuffed and yawning children before them.

As they walked the children home, Doctor McCoy noticed something through a window to a nearby Greek restaurant. "Jim, is that who I think it is?" he asked, pointing to a Vulcan in slate gray robes. He was sitting across from a Vulcan female, dressed similarly.

"If you think that it is my First Officer," Kirk said, stopping to look, before picking up his tired son. The Vulcan male reached up and caressed the left cheek of the female. "It is. And if I'm not mistaken, that's T'Pring with him."

"You know, I thought you were getting laid, not the green blooded hobgoblin," Bones said as they started moving again. Before the window went out of view, he spotted T'Pring returning Spock's action.

"Well, Bones, you did tell me a few hours ago that thirty-four is enough," Jim replied, as they turned away from the main thoroughfare of the Starbase's commercial area.


They shepherded the children home, with Captain Kirk tucking each one of them into their beds. Then they split up, and McCoy headed back to the Enterprise, and Kirk towards Starbase Administration.

This brought Doctor McCoy back by the restaurant that he'd seen Spock and T'Pring at. A couple shops down, he spotted the half-Vulcan First Officer. T'Pring was up against the wall, and Spock was gently caressing her cheek, his hand toying with a strand of her hair. McCoy passed close enough to spot a hickey on T'Pring's neck.

"Don't stay out too late, Spock," McCoy said as he passed the pair. He'd remember Spock's deer in the headlight's look until the day that he died.


"Vhere is Mister Spock?" Chekov asked, after Captain Kirk arrived at the morning Command Team meeting. "I vas told that he'd have the last bit of data I needed for my report on our last mission this morning."

"I suspect that Spock is occupied this morning by T'Pring," McCoy said, leaning back in his chair.

"T'Pring ... wasn't that the lady that spurned him during our first deployment?" Uhura asked. "The one that caused you to arrange the appearance of the Captain's death?"

"She ... practically had Spock strangle me to death," Kirk said, grimacing. "Not the way I wanted my first visit to Vulcan to go. I haven't been back."

"Well, judging from what the Captain and I saw, I'd say that they made up," McCoy said, placing his hands behind his head. "We both spotted them dining, and after the Captain delivered his last daughter home, we split up and on the way back I passed them kissing. She even had a hickey."

With that word, the door parted, revealing Spock. The First Officer's hair was a mess, and his tunic was wrinkled. There were two hickeys visible on his neck. His face was flushed green, and he was breathing hard. He was smiling.

"Hot date, Spock?" Doctor McCoy broke the silence at Spock's arrival.

"Chilled, Doctor, my dates are chilled," Spock said as he calmly took his seat. The smile remained.

"And if we asked T'Pring if you were a hot date?" McCoy asked.

"I believe that our relative body temperatures were matched, Doctor," Spock said, still smiling, but with a completely even tone.

"Gentlemen, enough," Kirk said. "As long as T'Pring is not arranging for the death of an Starship Captain, reserve your verbal sparring until after the meeting, as it doesn't meet our purpose today."

"T'Pring is not currently arranging for your death Captain ... as long as I get back to her within the hour."

"In that case, Mr. Chekov ... We have less than an hour to finish today's briefing ... I expect that Spock would prefer it in half that. I know I would."


Ships Announcements


Rickover, Tiberia born two days ago to Lieutenant Jamie Thomas-Rickover late of the William McGonagle, daughter of Captain James T. Kirk, and Lieutenant Commander Samuel F. Rogers of the Colorado. The baby girl weighed in at Please congratulate the captain on his first grandchild.

T'mara, born last night to T'Pring and Commander Spock. Please congratulate the commander on the birth of his first child.