Mystery Disease

Author Notes: Thanks for all the favorites and reviews. I will try to post more frequently.

It could possibly be the most well-kept secret in Johto.

And I, Volcano, unwavering vassal to one of the best Pokemon trainers in the land, Rival Silver, my Master, will be the one to reveal this arcane matter to you, denizens of the electric ocean.

In case you are wondering, I am a Typhlosion, evolved from a humble baby Cyndaquil that Master Silver kindly rescued from the clutches of the mad scientist Professor Elm.

You don't believe me; those are the words of Master Silver himself. He has no stomach for even the mildest of vice or deceit.

Anyway, there is a more pressing, more urgent matter, on hand.

Let me explain the circumstances in a little more detail, although I will keep it as brief as possible, as I am not gifted with an eloquent tongue or the ability to captive an audience by the means of story-telling.

Master Silver is sick and he was infected by a ruthless girl, a Pokemon trainer with chestnut hair, saucer-shaped hazel eyes, and a prodigious man-eating marshmallow that lives on top of her head.

She may appear cute and docile but looks can be deceiving. Hiding, like slow-dancing nobility at a masquerade ball, behind the mask of virtue lies a fierce and brazen soul who knows not the meaning of the word failure. The cold eyes of my master turns iron hearts into water, overwhelming them with persistent feelings of trepidation, pilfering their pluck to the extent that they quickly avert their eyes from him so as not to be compelled to partake in battle, as the rules of Johto say two Pokemon trainers must do if they make eye contact with each other.

However this girl, whose name is Lyra, welcomes those cold eyes just as an SUV owner would welcome a free tank of gas. She approaches Master Silver for a Pokemon battle, fearlessly and without anxiety, and she quickly dispenses, through an amalgamation of precise battle science and glorified cheer-leading, of all his brave warriors, yours truly included.

As you might expect, Master Silver has quite the disdain for failure and he intensely trained me and my compatriots after our last defeat, helping us redouble our efforts to build agility, power, and discipline. Our training paid off to an extent, but not totally. We came closer than we ever came to winning before, but we ultimately tasted the sourness of defeat yet again.

That was when Lyra decided to infect Master Silver with a hideous and terrible disease, obviously in order to prevent him from beating her in the future.

Two young kids, approximately the age of four, undoubtedly hired by Lyra for thousands of Pokedollars, bumped into my Master Silver right after the Pokemon battle ended, launching him right on top of Lyra in an awkward position, leaving my master with an uncharacteristically red-face and wavering speech, which included an apology, the first I heard my master utter since I vowed to become his loyal vassal.

After that the symptoms did nothing but manifest themselves in a more and more obvious way; I suspect Lyra quickly and noiselessly infected my Master when he was on top of her.

It seemed my Master, plagued by the illness, lost his ability to concentrate on Pokemon battling. This was unbelievable, as before my Master's ability to concentrate was unparalleled by all except one: that being Lyra herself. Unfortunately, weakened by the illness, I found Master Silver commanding me to use fire attacks on water and rock Pokemon, when my hidden power grass would have easily dispensed of these opponents.

Nor was a lack of concentration the only symptom of the base illness. I found Master Silver, who wears a stoic expression during the best and worst of times, smiling, his face muscles apparently being contorted by the evil disease. When I spotted him doing this, he quickly hid the smile and replaced it with his trademark frown but nevertheless I found the grin had found its way back on his face just a few minutes later. I could only imagine the pain that his mouth must be in but my Master never complained about it, as one would expect of a noble warrior such as himself.

Lastly, my Master bought some hairgel and cologne. If my theory is correct, and I am inclined to believe it is, then the deadly disease changes his brain chemistry and forces Master Silver to be loose and reckless with his money, subjecting him to financial as well as physical ruin, inspiring him to spend his hard-earned money on immaterial items rather than paraphernalia related to battling, such as Iron, Calcium, or valuable TM's. Why else would my master buy hairgel or cologne? He never cared about his looks before.

That is my plight, denizens of the electric ocean. Please diagnose this disease, if you are capable of doing so. I asked Crobat, my flying companion and fellow vassal of Silver, about this issue, and he, with a sly smile on his face, told me that Silver is indeed infected with an illness, but he wouldn't tell me anymore. After constant pleading, I was able to acquire a hint: the first letter starts with L and the name is eight letters long.

I am perusing through my dictionary as we speak. It is my humble request that all of you do the same.

Author Notes: Can you guess the illness? It's not difficult and it's not really a medical term or anything.

And yes, Typhlosion is just as naive as you think : )