Summary: The Ring tries to persuade Itachi. Itachi is NOT amused. Humor, crack. Oneshot.

Disclaimer: I don't own LOTR and Naruto.

For the love of Kami, it didn't know how to give up.

Now, Itachi Uchiha was a patient man. A man with the patience of a – well, let's just say that he's the epitome of patience, alright? He was an S-Class shinobi with a background to die for. The outstanding prodigy of the Uchiha clan who had been making waves in Konoha since he was eight with his amazing skills in ninjutsu, genjutsu and taijutsu and also one of the famed ninja in all Elemental Countries and all that. Heck, he made ANBU Captain when he was thirteen. Thir-freaking-teen.

Not to mention he unlocked his Mangekyo at sixteen completing an S-rank mission with flying colours.

And killed Madara at seventeen. Really, the man should have known better than to let his guard down around a cute, innocent puppy. Honestly.

Oh well. At least he had the privilege of seeing his father collapse into laughter at that. Fun times. The Hokage even created a new event for that, the Festival no Inu. Suffice to say, the Inuzuka clan had been over the moon. They were often swamped with puppy requests now, as canines were now the trend. After all, who wouldn't like puppies, eh? Puppies and dogs were symbols of Madara's death, after all.

'I can bring your dreams to reality…' The Ring attempted once more.

"Not interested." Itachi said flatly, bringing the Fellowship's attention to him.

"I-Is the Ring speaking to you?" Frodo piped up tentatively.

Itachi spared the hobbit a cool glance. "It is none of your concern."

'I could give you any abilities you want…'

Another eye twitch. "I already have all the abilities I want." Itachi scowled. How dare it even…

'Enhanced strength, power, stamina…I could grant them all…'

"No. Now shut up before I consider throwing you into the hands of my fan-girls." The ANBU snarled out.

It became silent immediately.

But then –

'What about power? You wield power of strength, but I can grant you more…more than you can imagine. You could be greater…'

Itachi's eye twitched dangerously. It did not just insult him. "Are you insulting me?"

It hastened to assure him. 'Of course not. But you have to admit, your power lacks in-'

That was it.

Itachi snapped.

He stalked over to Frodo and stretched out a hand. "Give me the Ring."


"Y-you will not harm Mr. Frodo!" Sam exclaimed as he jumped in front of his friend.

…He was stuck with idiots.

The shinobi stared impassively at Sam before he vanished in an unfathomable blur and reappeared a few feet away, Ring in hand.

The Fellowship froze.

Itachi paid no heed to them though, as he glared at the object that started to…shiver.

And tremble.

His onyx eyes bled into red then, the Mangekyo appearing.


The Ring screamed as it died.

With a huff, the Uchiha made his way to his things and packed them all into a storage scroll, storing it in one of his many cloak pockets.

"And it is done. May we meet again." Itachi gave a short bow before disappearing in a swirl of leaves and lightning. What? Leaves were so overdone.

No one messed with Uchiha Itachi and lived. Ever.