Disclaimer: IT"S NOT FAIR!!! I don't own ANYTHING!! Not Yu-gi-oh, not nothin'!! (Goes off to grumble about not owning anything....)
"Hey did you guys hear about the new advice column in the school paper?" Joey Wheeler asked his friends at lunch. They were in cafeteria, grouped at their favourite table, close to the food- Joey's choice, naturally. Tea Gardener was looking cheerful, as usual, Tristan Taylor was alternating between shuffling Duel Monster cards and taking huge bites out of his sandwich and Yugi Moto was idly spinning his lunch around with a fork.
"Which paper?" Tristan asked, his mouth full.
"The one that has the miraculous story of why you're still in high school and not in grade two," Joey said sarcastically.
"You're one to talk," Tristan replied calmly. "You didn't learn the alphabet until grade three." Everyone at the table turned to stare at Joey, who felt himself turning red.
"Eh he he," he nervously laughed. "Oh come on! It was hard! There are so many different letters and the go with other letters! They're different shapes and...." he trailed off weakly.
No one said anything. They just continued to stare at him.
"What about the paper, Joey?" Tea asked, trying to change the subject and spare Joey further embarrassment.
"Wha? Oh, yeah! Right! Some one is writing advice to losers in the advice column. It's really funny! I wonder who wrote it?"
"Do you happen to have one with you?" Yugi asked curiously.
"Hang on a sec!" Joey dashed out of the cafeteria and came back a few minutes later with a badly wrinkled paper, clutched in his hands.
"That was fast," Tea commented dryly.
"Dude, di this go through the wash or something? How can you read it?" Tristan asked after snatching the paper and comically turning it upside down, then right side up, then in a circle.......
"Gimme that!" Joey snapped as he grabbed the paper. "It ain't THAT bad But you can't read, so how would you know?"
"That reminds me. Joey-" Tristan was rudely cut off as Joey clamped a hand over his mouth. "Ha ha ha," Joey laughed self-consciously. "Tristan is just a little bit tipsy from last night. We had a contest to see-"
"Who could drink the most beer again?" Yugi and Tea said together, thoroughly exasperated. The last time the two idiots had that contest, they were wandering around drunk and trying to score with random people on the street. Unfortunately, Joey's dad had been one of them, so, when he discovered the beer missing........ Let's just say it wasn't a pretty picture.
"No. Not this time," Joey said. He blushed suddenly. "You tell them, Tristan."
"Mmph Mphg Gumph," Tristan mumbled.
Tristan shoved Joey away from him and said, "Let go of me!"
"Well, what happened?" Tea asked as Joey and Tristan began to fight. "Not again," she thought, and by the look on Yugi's face, he thought the same thing, too. Looking up, he gave Tea a small smile and asked the two doofuses, "Yeah, what happened?"
"I-We-Well, what do ya know? I forgot!" Joey laughed in the way that made some people nervous as he scratched the back of his head.
"Actually, it was Joey's idea. He wanted to see who could do the best cartwheel- of all things, a CARTWHEEL- in the house!" Tristan explained. Joey's cheeks started to turn red.
"We were at Tristan's," he said.
"Yeah, well, Joey crashed into the wall and I, um, felldownthestairs," Tristan mumbled the last part quickly.
"Huh?" Tea said at the exact same time Yugi said, "What?"
"I...... fell...... down...... the...... STAIRS!!!!!" Tristan yelled. Luckily, the noise in the cafeteria was so loud, or else Tristan and Joey would be a good source of entertainment. For those people who like stupid, pointless things, which usually end in injuries, any ways.
"You what?!" Tea exclaimed.
"You heard me," Tristan snapped. "Now let's forget this ever happened!"
Ignoring Tristan's comments, Joey continued. "Yeah! He crashed down the stairs because he turned," he laughed.
"You crashed into the wall. And why the hallway was such a great place is an unanswered question from the brain of Joey. I think it's busy though, answering other more important things like two plus two equals five."
Somehow, Yugi found this to be quite funny, as he was rolling around on the floor, laughing. Soon, everyone was staring at him. That is, everyone in the whole cafeteria. When Yugi noticed how every eye was on him, he got up, sat on the bench and picked at his lunch, all the while blushing furiously.
"Riiiiiiiiighhhhhht.........." Joey said. "Any ways, here's what it says about Rex Raptor." Joey cleared his throat and read.
"Rex Raptor, you know why dinosaurs are extinct? It's because their brains were too small. Since you obviously have the capacity of you dino cards, my advice to you is to pick some new cards. Ones, that are actually useful, not like you. Either that, or spend less time duelling with your dino duds, and more time trying to catch up to your kindergarten class. Or is kindergarten too hard for you? We all know you can't read this article, so maybe using your pathetic cards with your tiny brain is the best thing."
"That was harsh, man," Tristan said in mock sympathy. "Who wrote that?"
"I dunno, but whoever did has my agreement!" Joey nodded after he spoke for more emphasis. He narrowly avoided being hit by a tray one of the students was carrying.
"I wonder what Rex is thinking now," Yugi mused.
"What and accurate description," Tea stated. "Wish I knew who wrote it! They have my vote!"
Meanwhile, in another part of Domino, an outraged Rex Raptor was snarling as he read the article. "Grrrrrrr, I wish I knew who did this! Dino duds my ass! I'll KILL whoever wrote this! He'll be SOO sorry he made fun of my dinosaurs!" He ripped up the article and threw it all over the floor.