The Powerpuff Girls: PSHAW!
Powerpuff School Hijinks And Wackiness
A Powerpuff Girls fanfiction by Andrew J. Talon
With contributions from Scriviner, Ryuugi, Fanboyimus Prime and others
DISCLAIMER: This is a non-profit fan based work of prose. The Powerpuff Girls are the property of Cartoon Network. No copyright infringement is intended, please support the official release.
The Narrator's Voice is in Italics! Just so you know! And no, I'm not out to steal any princesses. Geez, you can only make so many actor's allusions at a time you know!
The city of Townsville! But enough about that! Once again we're back in the home of the Powerpuff girls, as they set to work on some homework!
"Genealogy?" Buttercup asked. She huffed. "Lame... Why couldn't we be doing our chemistry project yet?" Buttercup had developed a taste for all the possibilities of chemistry, though invariably they became destructive and awesome for YouTube videos.
"Now now Buttercup," Blossom said evenly, "I know it isn't the most exciting project but it is something we can all do together, right?"
"Right!" Bubbles said cheerfully as she flew around the room. She returned with her easel and a nice large pad of drawing paper. She broke out her colored pencils and beamed at her sisters. "And I'm ready!"
"Okay!" Blossom said with a smile. "Now, let's start with the obvious-Us!"
"Right!" Bubbles said, quickly drawing out herself and her sisters. They were smiling happily out at the viewer, dressed in their usual outfits. Buttercup frowned.
"Ya know, I'm not that big a fan of the fishnets."
"You still wear them," Blossom pointed out. Buttercup grinned.
"Mainly for the look on the Professor's face... And speaking of," the green Powerpuff girl said with a look to Bubbles. Bubbles drew the Professor above them, smiling out happily with his pipe held between his lips.
"Right! The Professor is our father and creator!" Said Blossom happily.
"Um," Bubbles frowned. "But Blossom... Isn't Mojo Jojo also our creator and father? Sort of?"
Buttercup frowned as well. "Aren't we more like... Siblings? He does call the Professor his father..."
"So that would make him our... Brother and other father...? An uncle maybe?" Blossom tried.
Bubbles, still frowning, drew Mojo to the left as his typical jerkass self. She wrote "Brother/Father/Uncle?" under him.
"So... That means we have to include the Rowdyruffs too, right?" Bubbles asked.
"... That's right, they're kind of like our brothers or cousins... or something," Buttercup said. Blossom's eyes widened in horror.
"Or our... Nephews...?"
"You mean," and Bubbles turned as green as Buttercup's dress, "we kissed...?"
"Oh... God...!" Blossom shuddered.
"... Ew. Ew! EW!" Buttercup cried, hovering up and shaking her hands out. "EWW!"
Bubbles adds the Rowdyruffs to the canvas, after she manages to keep from throwing up. With "Brothers/Cousins/Nephews/GROSS!" captioned underneath it.
"Ugh! I can't believe we... EW! EW! EWWW!" Blossom shuddered.
Bubbles stared at her red colored pencil, and then back at the Rowdyruffs. Her jaw dropped.
"Wait a minute..."
"What is it, Bubbles?" Asked Blossom.
"We destroyed the Rowdyruff Boys... But HIM brought them back... So does that mean Mojo and HIM are the Rowdyruff Boy's... PARENTS?!"
Blossom and Buttercup covered their mouths in disgust.
"WE'RE RELATED TO HIM TOO?!" Blossom cried. She flew to the bathroom to throw up, and the sounds of her retching filled the room.
"So does that make Mojo the daddy, or the mommy...?" Bubbles asked, rubbing the back of her head with her pencil.
"I guess... It depends on who was on top," Buttercup deadpanned.
"MMPH!" Bubbles soon joined Blossom in the bathroom, heaving her guts out. Buttercup couldn't help a laugh at the expense of her sisters.
The room shuddered, as three powerful beings landed on the front lawn. Buttercup looked out the window.
"Hey girls! We've come a calling~!" Brick taunted up at the second floor.
"A night-" Boomer grinned.
"On the town!" Butch cried with a leer at Buttercup.
And now it was Buttercup's turn to turn green... But she knew where she wanted her barf to go.
"UWAAAAGGGGHHHH!" Buttercup retched all over the Rowdyruffs below.
"AHHH! GROSS!" They shouted.
"Wh-What?! The Rowdyruffs are here?" Blossom cried, flying up to the window with pale cheeks.
"Yech!" Brick cried, as he and his brothers flared their auras to disperse the vomit.
"What was that for?!" Boomer demanded.
"WHY ARE YOU HERE?!" Blossom snarled.
"They want to take us out on a night on the town!" Buttercup cried, wiping her mouth.
"WHAT?!" Blossom cried.
"Well yeah," Brick said, more than a bit confused. "We're gonna pound you!"
"Right into the ground!" Boomer added.
"And lick you girls for good!" Butch finished, striking a pose.
Blossom, Buttercup and Bubbles (who had come up to the window just in time to hear that last cry) stared down at the boys. The boys stared back.
"Girls?" Blossom began, her eyes narrowing. "Razzle Dazzle."
"Razzle Dazzle," Buttercup said.
"RAZZLE FREAKING DAZZLE!" Bubbles agreed.
"Razzle wha-?" Brick tried, but he and his brothers were soon beat down right into the ground and blasted into a park well away from the Utonium household. Brick groaned and slowly got up, as the girls landed in front of them.
"WHAT'S YOUR DEAL?" Brick demanded.
"What's... Our... Deal?!" Bubbles snarled. "YOU CREEPY FREAKS!"
"I knew Mojo was bad but I didn't know he was a pervert!" Blossom cried in disgust.
"What do you mean, pervert?! We just want to rock your world-" Butch tried.
"SHUT UP! STOP TALKING!" Buttercup screamed.
"WHAT IS GOING ON?!" Boomer cried.
"We're freaking related, that's what's going on!" Buttercup growled. "You are just sick!"
"GROSS!" Bubbles cried.
"DEPRAVED!" Blossom snarled. "Don't you get it?! We're like... Your sisters!"
"OR AUNTS!" Bubbles screamed.
The three girls stared at the Rowdyruffs. The boys stared back at the Powerpuffs.
"... Wait... What?" Brick managed.
Boomer gaped. Butch was staring in disbelief.
"LOOK!" Bubbles cried, holding up their chart. All three boys looked it over.
"... Oh... God...!" Brick managed, before he turned away and threw up. Boomer followed suit. Butch just stared at his newfound relatives.
"Um... Well... This is... Awkward..." Boomer mumbled. He looked over at Butch. "Butch? You okay?
Butch continued to stare, silent. Brick blinked.
"Butch? Say something...!"
"Hey... You okay?" Bubbles asked.
"What's wrong?" Blossom asked.
"Yeah! What are you staring at?" Buttercup asked with a scowl.
Butch trembled, his hands going to his cheeks.
"... I GOT A BONER OVER MY OWN SISTERS?!" He screamed in horror. "AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" He flew for the sky, a green streak on his way into orbit.
"Wait! Butch! Come back! It's not that bad!" Boomer shouted as he followed.
"Ugh, gross," Buttercup shuddered.
"Bubbles? Are you okay?" Buttercup asked, resting a hand on Bubbles' shoulder. The blonde girl stared and trembled.
"I just realized... Does that mean we were mommies when we made Bunny?"
"Mommies? Since when were you mommies?" Asked Brick in disbelief.
"AHHHH! I WAS A SIX YEAR OLD SINGLE MOTHER!" Bubbles screamed. She too flew into space, breaking the sound barrier with a series of loud booms. "THE SHAAAAAME!"
Buttercup stared after her, and facepalmed. "BUBBLES! BUBBLES COME BACK!" She cried as she flew after her sister.
Brick and Blossom were left to stare at each other awkwardly.
"Um... Yeah, well... How about we just... Er..." Blossom began.
"Call a truce?" Brick asked. "Wherein we do NOT run into eachother? At all?"
"Agreed," Blossom said with a nod. "No causing trouble-!"
"And you won't come to stop us! Works for me," Brick said.
"So... Uh... See you later... Bro?" Blossom tried. Brick shuddered.
"Hell no, Sis!" And he flew off, a red beam of light into the sky. Blossom shuddered as well.
"Glad we agree on something..."
Well, I'm sure a large number of fanfiction writers will be disappointed to hear that.
So once again, the day is saved from incestuous overtones...!
Thanks to... THE POWERPUFF GIRLS!
Oh, hang on, we've still got one more thing to take care of...
The Rowdyruff Boys sat in the Townsville park, the very air around them a miasma of depression. Brick was shooting heat vision beams at rocks, looking pensive. Boomer was poking at the ground with a stick. Butch was staring despondently up at the sky with dead eyes.
"... So," Brick tried.
"I have no words," Boomer said flatly. "No words whatsoever."
"Oh God," Butch mumbled. "All those times I looked up her skirt...!"
"Shut up Butch," Brick said.
Butch held up his hands, trembling furiously. "I got those magazines...!"
"SHUT UP BUTCH!" Brick snarled, bitchslapping his brother into a tree. Brick grabbed Butch by the collar and punched him repeatedly in the face. "STOP! BEING! SO! BUMMED! OVER YOUR SISTER!"
"Brick! Don't be so rough with him!" Boomer said, trying to keep Brick from pounding Butch into pudding. "Come on!"
"But how am I supposed to get over it?!" Butch cried as he fought Brick back. The three boys turned into a furious superpowered brawl cloud.
Oh dear. Are the Rowdyruff Boys tearing themselves apart? Are they going to turn on each other like wild dogs? Will they annihilate eachother and anyone who gets in the way in a superpowered superfight?
"Hey! Rowdy Runts!"
Brick, Boomer and Butch all looked at the street. A limo was parked at the curb, and Princess Morbucks herself was standing on the sidewalk with her hands on her hips and a scowl on her face. While her temperament had not improved over the last few years, she had gained certain... Assets that made it somewhat easy to overlook her personality.
Simply put, she was a smoking hot redheaded babe.
"I need you for some heavy lifting!" Princess yelled with a scowl.
"Huh?" Brick asked.
"Huh?" Boomer added intelligently.
"Huh," Butch said, looking her up and down.
"Heavy lifting?" Brick managed.
"Yeah," Princess sniffed. "I'm moving to an even bigger mansion and I need someone to carry all my stuff!"
"... Including your clothes?" Asked Butch. Princess huffed.
"We'd love to help!" Brick said, immediately sidling up next to Princess and slipping his arm around her shoulders. He grinned. "But you know, you only really need me. These idiots would just get in the way."
"What?!" Butch demanded. "I'm the strongest and fastest of us all!"
"Baloney!" Boomer huffed. "I'm the most powerful!"
"I'm stronger than both of them put together," Brick said with a smirk. He lifted Princess's limo up with one hand. "See? You don't need these punks!"
"Punks?!" Butch growled. "TAKE THAT BACK!"
"Make me, ya cry baby... And you too, ya nerd!" Brick taunted Boomer. Boomer's eyes flashed red.
The Rowdyruff Boys again descended into a brawl. Princess watched intently. Her driver stood up and walked over to her side.
"Ah... Miss Morbucks, we could go ask another team of superbeings to move your things-" He stopped talking when she raised her gloved hand... And blushed.
"Oh no... I think I can wait," she said, biting her lower lip. "Mmm..."
Well, at least she's not actually related to them.
So once again, video of good looking teenaged brothers ripping one another's shirts off has been saved... for later private use... thanks to...
THE ROWDYRUFF BOYS!
This is just for short snippets of the Powerpuff Girls as teenagers to make fun of all too common tropes and stereotypes in the fandom, as well as longer story arcs and ideas. They are being explored on the Space Battles Creative Writing thread, but I decided to post the stories up here as well. So enjoy, rant and rage, etc.
In addition, this story in particular was inspired by IcyKali's wonderful short PPG story "Family Tree Terror". I definitely recommend checking it out. More original content (well, for fanfiction anyway) is on the way! So stay tuned!