To Be Free
He was far too old to be having nightmares. As a demonling, he was surprised he dreampt anyways. Did Sebastian dream too? Perhaps he fantasized about killing his master and being free. Free from Ciel. Free from the loyalty and care he had more or less faked over the years. Free from his eternal captivity.
A small part of Ciel that he tried very hard to quiet liked the idea of it: to have guaranteed company whether said company was happy about it or not.
Ciel sighed and rolled over in his white sheets and sighed, knowing sleep was now unreachable. After all he had been through, all he had endured, he liked the idea of being served tea and cake everyday. Of being bathed and dressed and occasionally carried off to bed. Even if Sebastian hated him, wanted his freedom, wanted him dead. The boy was just lonely enough to be willing to settle for creature comforts from someone who hated him.
It's cold in his bed, and he remembers nights spent with his parents under the covers, of his dog at his feet. Another small part of Ciel that he hates is the part that misses human contact. Holding his parents hands as he walked with them, sitting on laps, having his arms and back rubbed until he fell asleep... being held. He missed it so terribly it ached, but he would never tell a soul. Sometimes the urge is particularly strong, and it's all he can do not to order his butler to just pick him up or sit by him, but to his alarm, he wants the older demon to desire to do so.
"Yes, young master?" Ciel jumps out of his skin and nearly flings the book on his bedside table at the intruder, who smirks.
"I can tell when you're distressed. Our bond is beyond the contract we once had"
"Don't be ridiculous. You wouldn't have tried to kill me if you felt anything for me." Ciel spat. Sebastian frowns and steps closer.
"I simply want to be free. I grow hungry Master. And I want to hunt."
"Then go hunt. I don't own you."
"That's where you're mistaken My Lord. I am yours until the end, whether I like it or not."
"THEN GO! Leave me, you bastard, everyone does! I used to think we had a bond other than the contract, maybe that we could be equals now that we're both demons, but I guess not!"
"Just go. Leave me alone." Ciel flops down on the bed and curses himself for the angry tears that run hotly down his face. He feels small, weak and pitiful.
"Is that what this is about? You don't want me to leave you? And you dislike that I want to be free?"
"I don't know what I want."
"I suppose you want what anyone in your position would want. Comfort and company. And what kind of a butler would I be if I didn't provide it?" Sebastian places a hand on his back and starts to rub. His treacherous body melts into the bedspread and he knows that this is what he wants.
"I just wanted to be free Master. I dislike hurting you."
"Me too." He admits quietly. I want to be free.
"I cannot lie. I have developed a bond with you. And if we are to be in captivity, we may as well have good company."
"You don't hate me?"
"I could never hate you My Lord."
"Then... Come here. Be close to me." At this shy demand, he finds himself scooped up into Sebastian's arms and is cuddled to his broad chest. Large hands resume the stroking of his back and he all but melts into the first hug he has received in years.
Sebastian pulls away slightly and wipes the remnant of the tears away and cups his small face. Ciel closes his eyes and enjoys the sensation of the smooth gloves on his undereyes and cheeks. A thumb runs gently over his bottom lip and his eyes fly open.
"No. It's quite alright." He catches ruby eyes in his vision and before he can realize he's making eye contact, warm, full lips make contact with his own and he gasps.
It's like cotton and silkiness, and something else warm and wet, like the smell of clean skin after you get out of a bath. He can feel everything, the warmth of hard muscle, the crinkle of Sebastian's tail coat as he holds on for dear life, and even Sebastian's eyelashes fluttering.
They cease the kiss and Ciel hides his red face in the crook of his butler's neck and just let's himself be held.
Sebastian's gloved fingertips brush patterns on his arms, and slowly, peacefully, the little demon drifts back to sleep.