I don't own Looney Tunes, obviously. Well, I wish you nice read!
"We're breaking up." Daffy walked into the living room, stating offhandedly.
"What?" Bugs wasn't really expecting that. Because yeah, he knew Daffy was strange, but there was absolutely no reason for them to split up, especially not something that the duck could complain about. They haven't even argued (… much)!
"What are your big ears for if you can't hear? I said I'm breaking up with you."
"Do you have a reason?"
Daffy assumed his 'dramatic pose' so the rabbit knew every word that will leave his lips next will be a lie.
"It's just so hard for me!" his exclamation was followed by a hand on his forehead. "Having such a boyfriend, that never sees me! You're just so popular, and I know deep down that I can't keep you faithful for long!"
"OK, Daffy, end the charade and tell me the truth."
"I just got bored with you." The duck was straight-forward. "So when that beautiful lady in the bar asked me out, I just couldn't resist."
Bugs stared at him unamused. He sighted.
"Well, at least you won't be cheating on me."
"What kind of duck do you take me for!?" his beaked friend wasn't even looking at him, which showed he wasn't really offended, and didn't care. He left the house bidding the rabbit good night.
So it was like that. He was finally free from that stupid duck.
OK, so maybe he was a little angry. But not because he had some feelings for that good-for-nothing freeloader. He was just mad that he had to do so much to break up with Lola. It really wasn't easy, and he had done that for a stupid partner like that.
This relationship was ridiculous from beginning to end. Seriously, how did it even happen? He remembered that day all too well.
A week ago;
How did that happen? One moment he had been in his house, chilling out and now he was in Egypt, in a pyramid that for some reason had chambers with moving walls designed to crush whoever was inside. Moreover he had to share that chamber with an idiot that was the cause of all his misfortunes.
"I'm going to kill you." he said menacingly glaring at the duck.
He just tried being nice. After Tina broke up with him, Daffy was devastated. He said he needed some time from home. Bugs just wanted to make sure the duck wouldn't do anything stupid, so they went together on this trip. Of course, Daffy just had to take him to a closed pyramid.
"I don't want to die! I'm too young! The world can't lose me!" Daffy was going round the small space, panicking.
The bunny caught him by the arm and made them stand face to face.
"Calm down, moron."
Suddenly, he felt the feathery hands cup his face.
"Bugs, I've never thought I'd say that, but you're the second person I love the most after myself, and I don't want to lose you."
And he kissed him.
… Seriously, like what!? Did Daffy Duck, the worst roomie on the whole planet just kiss him?
Impossible. Bugs was so shocked he could neither end, nor answer.
"I never thought I'd die like this." the Duck started sobbing. The rest of his words Bugs heard as 'bla bla bla'. He still couldn't process what happened.
Fuck it, they're going to die anyway.
"Shut up." And he successfully closed the beak with his lips.
… In the end they were rescued by archeologists.
The rest of the trip was awkward. At least for the rabbit, because Daffy seemed to forget all of that.
He spend most of their airplane ride looking through the window. He saw the duck's hand on the armrest. It seemed to be so extremely close.
"What do you want?! I'm trying to sleep here!"
"Did you mean that? What you said in the pyramid. That I'm the second person you love most?"
Bugs looked at him.
"Then why did you say that?"
"Saw it in a movie. Always wanted to try saying it. And shouldn't you be more worried about your girlfriend back home?"
Bugs looked out the window again.
"I'll break up with her." He said intertwining his fingers with Daffy's.
Daffy was as bad a boyfriend as he was everything else. He always looked at other people, and even flirted with them. His kisses were clumsy, because he had such a big beak (though he was improving under Bugs instructions.) He had weird fetishes, like role-playing. He was a bad person in general.
And yet something felt wrong. Because thinking about Daffy chilling before the TV, watching some dumb movie, throwing popcorn at the screen and occasionally exchanging kisses with someone else but him made Bugs want to throw up.
There was literally nothing good about that guy and yet Bugs stood up and started running to the door with genuine intent to search every bar, restaurant and movie theater in this town.
When he opened the doors Daffy Duck was standing on the porch.
"What?" Bugs was disorientated.
"The date didn't work out. Turned out she was a mafia boss." He went into the house giving Bugs a light kiss on the cheek as he passed him.
Only now Bugs noticed the bags the duck carried.
"Oh, I saw a great thief and policemen costumes on my ride back. Used your credit card by the way." He was climbing up the stairs. "You coming or not?" Daffy gestured to his bedroom.
"You broke-up with me!"
"OK, I un-break-up with you, is that fine?"
No, it was not fine! But Bugs followed him anyway.
Who was he kidding? There has always been a reason why he let Daffy live in his house and do whatever he pleased.
So it's short. But review anyway! Please?