Yay! Happy holidays to all of you. So I've gotten a lot of stuff done these days. I've revised all the previous chapters, corrected a few mistakes and added the song I wrote the fist chapter to (Not that it matters in the least, but well, there it is anyway)

Hide your kids, rating is going up up up! (Not a lot, but well, just to be sure. And next chapter is going to be smutty)

Anyway, enough rambling! Enjoy!

Because You Don't Get Lucky Twice

And, then, for what seemed like an eternity, there was silence.

It could have been just a second, or minutes, Gilbert didn't know. Everything seemed frozen in place. Matthews face of utter disbelief. His hands mid-air, still not fully understanding that having the paper back wouldn't solve anything now.

And meanwhile, his mind was running a mile a minute.

In a fraction of a second, all the possible scenarios ran through his mind, like some kind of sick, emotionally breaking choose-your-own-adventure kind of book. Only, it was not in his hands whether he managed to save the princess or found his fate in the stomach of a dragon. The only thing he could do was wait for the response, and let his imagination run wild with all the possible outcomes.

Some seemed too good to be real. Others were so downright devastating he preferred not to think about them. And some of them were just plain impossible, but hey, his rational side had shut off a while ago.

And, among all, even in the wildest, worst case scenario, he wasn't expecting tears. Not right away, at least. He had quite a fame of regaining his composure easily. And he definitely didn't expect Matthew to cry. Laugh at his face? Yeah, that was one of the better-not-to-think-about-it ones. But cry? That wasn't supposed to happen. He had nothing to cry about.

…And that was the reason his brain short-circuited and then came back to life when he heard the faint sound of someone sniffing.

"You're an idiot…" he heard, and okay, insults he could manage.

Crying, on the other hand…

"Okay. Okay. Stop crying. I know. This sucks. But trust me; this was not the way things were supposed to go. I had planned the most romantic date you could imagine. I was even going to suit up. Everything was so neatly planned… but then you came home earlier and…"

Somehow, that seemed to make Matthew worse. Now there were actual, liquid tears running through his cheeks, and Gilbert's mind seemed to be stuck in the 'if you keep talking, chances are you'll eventually say something useful to make things better. You just got keep talking' mode.

"Okay, let's make a deal. You forget this letter, we pretend nobody let the cat out of the bag, we have everything go according to planned, and then you make your choice. For now, forget this even happened"

And, oh, that was exactly the thing that he should not have said. Because then Matthew stared at him right in the eye, and whispered.

"Don't ask me to do that, Gil, because I can´t. Don´t ask me to forget"

Hearing that, his brain filled with two single words, written over and over: Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, oh…

" 'Kay. You can't forget? That's fine. That's so fine. Finest thing to ever fine. I'll get my things, call to cancel the reservation, call Ludwig, call… well, everybody invested in this story, which kinda covers my whole contacts list, and you'll never see me again. I never existed. The cake was a lie. Now if you excuse me…"

And he attempted to walk out of the room. Which was pretty damn stupid, specially taking into account that I'm supposed to be packing my things, and this is my own bedroom and all… but he was cut short by a warm hand holding his wrist.

"Like I said, you're an idiot"

Gilbert couldn't even handle to turn around.

"Listen. Matt, you're pretty good at breaking hearts, but you really need to know when to stop. There's a thin line between being cold-hearted and being a sadist"

There was silence. Again.

I'm really starting to hate hearing nothing. When this all ends, I'm gonna put the loudspeakers blasting until I can't hear me think.

But a voice took him back to Earth.

"You… you really don't get it, right?"

And he really had to turn around at that.

"Get what?"

Suddenly, he found himself thrown to the bed, with a lap full of Canadian.

"This… this… You're… I can't even…" and, at the lack of better words to put it, he kissed Gilbert.

It was short, and it was pretty chaste, but at least it served its purpose. The albino didn't look like he had been punched in the gut, at least. He had his eyes so open it was almost comical, and Matthew would have laughed if there wasn't some explanation to do.

"You… you're the biggest idiot I've ever seen. You see me get all emotional after reading your letter, and think what? That I don't want to see you ever again? How do you even jump to that kind of conclusion?"

"Well, I… I saw you crying and I thought…"

"You thought what? Oh, God… this…. This are not tears of sadness, Gil." Matthew's voice broke at that. "This are tears of happiness, because you… this… they're the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. And you thought it was not romantic enough…I couldn't even dream of something better. Yet you ask me to forget… I'm sorry, but I can't. Not after everything I've ever wished for has come true."

Gilbert found himself at a loss for words, and Matthew just smiled at him.

"Uh… Okay… I´m saying 'okay' a lot when panicking, seems, but okay… I… I am not capable of any coherent thought right now, so if you give me a minute or two to recover, maybe I'll be able to breathe again."

So Matthew hugged him, and Gilbert hugged back, tighter, and fuck if that wasn't the best feeling in the world.

And, after a few minutes, he found himself able to make enough brain connections to form a sentence:

"You know, I was supposed to be the one to kiss first."

He felt the other smile against his chest.

"Why?"

"Because I'm awesome like that. And because Francis and 'Tonio have a bet going, and now they're even, I was the one to ask the other out but you were the one to kiss first. And they're gonna be soooo pissed. On second thought, I'm glad you kissed first"

And Matthew actually laughed at that, and the sound was so beautiful he felt himself fall in love all over again.

"I need to see the rest of the letters you wrote to me" the blonde said, after a while, and Gilbert stared at him, mortified.

"No, you don't" he said.

"I so do." He tried to reach for the closest one, but Gilbert stopped him.

"They're awful." He tried, but to no avail.

"So what. It's you confessing your love. If you think I'm not gonna read each and every one of them at least a thousand times… well, you're wrong."

Gilbert stood silent for a while, and then asked:

"Is there any way I can get out of this?"

Matthew giggled.

"Maybe if you kiss me long enough"

He quickly obeyed, and then waited.

"I lied. I'm reading them anyway."

"Yeah, I knew. But at least I got a kiss out of it. Do you think there's a point following the plan or not? We would still have a few minutes to get ready." He said, after a while.

"What do you mean? Of course there is a point! This could be our first proper date! And our 0 anniversary!"

"I love the way you think."

And I also love you, he thought. But he didn't say that out loud. Not yet, at least.

Later, the clock striking midnight, they came home, both dizzy with happiness and periodically pinching themselves just to make sure it wasn't all just a dream.

And, at the door, while he was fumbling with the keys, Matthew said:

"Well, it was a really nice evening, I had lots of fun. I'd invite you in, but y'know, I'm not that kind of guy. I always wait until the third date."

Gilbert stared at him.

"Oh come on, you really have zero experience dating, don't you? Come here"

And they kissed.

This time, it was hard, deep and messy. And Gilbert showed that, even though he had no experience dating, he'd had quite a few times to practice kissing and it was proving to be useful, if the cute little noises Matthew was making were anything to go by.

"Bed" he whispered, huskily.

"Too far" came the reply.

Finally, they settled for the sofa, Gilbert sitting with his back against the cushions and who the fuck left the TV remote here? While Matthew was on top of him, legs around his lover's waist.

Everything was going fine, the blonde could manage this, it had all been perfect and nothing embarrassing had happened yet…

…Until Gilbert, being the romantic dork he was, thought it would be cute if he moved his hands from Matthew's jaw and ran his fingers through the other's hair. And the inevitable happened.

Matthew arched his back, hips jerking forward and making their groins grind together, releasing a loud moan that was (fortunately) in part swallowed by the other's mouth.

And he could have been mortified by the albino discovering his secret, but he didn't even have time for it because those hands just kept moving and why the hell has he gone for that curl in particular while his body seemed to have a life of its own, and he there was some tightness in his pants that he was sure was not there before…

"Wow" Gilbert said after he broke the kiss "A bit eager, are we? Though I'm not complaining…"

"Sh-shut up" the blond was sure he was completely red at that point, or would've been if all the blood wasn't flowing elsewhere. "I wouldn't be if you had kept your hands to yourself, you know."

"Really? Hey, I've been a good boy, hands always above the waist. See. I'm only caressing your hair. It's just hair."

"I know, it's weird. But… the curl…"

"Which curl? The funny-looking one? You mean, this curl?

And then he did it again… slowly, deliberately, hitting dead-on, and Matthew found himself incapable of doing anything but clutch tightly to Gilbert's clothes and bury his head in the crook of his neck, trying really, really hard not to have the best orgasm of his life just then and there.

By the way things were going, it was a losing battle.

"Y-yeah. That curl" he managed once he trusted his voice enough. "Please don't freak out."

Gilbert actually laughed at that.

"Freak out? Birdie, you haven't seen yourself. You can mark me down as many things right now, but freaked out isn't one of them." and Matthew released a breath he didn't even know he was holding.

Now that was a relief, seeing how the rest of his conquests had reacted. But by know he should have known that Gilbert was different. Said relief was short-lived, though, when he saw the predatory grin he was casting him.

"I know an opportunity when I see one… and I'm sooo gonna seize it."

He lifted Matthew's head and started placing kisses, from the base of his neck all the way up to his earlobe, making him melt.

"Oh, the fun I'm gonna have with this…" he whispered in his ear, hands already travelling to his new-found toy. "Do you think I can make you come just with this? Think I can make your vision turn white just by running my fingers through it?"

And the blonde swore he could feel his lover's lips curving into a smile.

He absolutely didn't trust himself with words in this state, so he just nodded.

"I will need time for this… I need to try a few things. What happens if I tug it?" he felt the other shiver. "And what happens if I lick it?"

Now Matthew was holding on to his shirt so hard his knuckles were turning white.

Jackpot.

He was all in for the dirty talk, but there was only so much willpower he could gather without starting to make clothes fly around.

"Gott, make you come in your pants or fuck you until you can't walk straight… this is the hardest decision you've ever put me into, you know that? Well, being the first time and all...I think I'm gonna be a good boy for once."

But then, all the lust pooling in Matthew's abdomen turned into something entirely different.

"Well, a-about that…" he stammered.

And he saw Gilbert's smirk disappear, his hands travelling lower to hold his arms, completely ruining the mood.

"Is there something wrong?"

Oh, God, why do I have to ruin everything?

"You see… You know I want this more than anything, but I haven't had good experience with relationships… and I know you've slept around a lot, and…"

"You're not a one night stand." And, even if he already knew that, hearing Gilbert say it lifted a huge weight off his shoulders.

"I know, and this is stupid, but would you hate me too much if I wanted to take things slow?"

"I would never hate you, Birdie. And you're giving me the worst case of blue balls you could imagine, but fortunately my upstairs brain is still working."

Matthew kissed him, pure relief washing through his body.

"Thank you" he muttered, moving off Gilbert so they both could move.

He was briefly worried about whether Gilbert would be mad at him, but all his concern flew out of the window because, somehow, the predatory grin was back.

"Oh, but remember I'm saving this card for later. Don't you ever forget that I know your little secret." Gilbert said, standing up.

He leaned in again, hot breath tickling Matthew's ear

"I certainly won't"

And he gave a playful tug at the curl, leaving the other opening his mouth in a silence scream, wondering if it was even possible for him to be that turned on while still fully clothed.

And, if one thing was certain, it was that Gilbert's wasn't the worst case of blue balls happening that night.

A/N: So I forgot to mention it, but both the previous chapter's and this' titles are inspired by the song "Without the Bitter, the Sweet Isn't as Sweet" by Mayday Parade.

As usual, review if you liked it!