I love Gokudera. I love how he speaks, I love how he walks, how he breathes, how he beats me even. I just love him. But I'm pretty sure that Gokudera hates me now. Right now. Why? Probably because Tsuna saw us kissing. Okay, maybe Tsuna saw me kissing Gokudera. Okay, maybe (just maybe) because I kissed Gokudera in front of Tsuna. Yeah, that might be the reason.
I didn't dare to look at him. But I couldn't help but wonder. Was he angry? Of course he was. Did he feel like crying? Or killing me, and just waited for Tsuna to leave, so he wouldn't have to watch? Was he going to speak to me ever again? In moments like this, I can't blame people for calling me an idiot. I didn't think this through, did I? I'm a complete idiot. But I just couldn't take it anymore.
How Gokudera would freak out over Dino-san being "a sick pervert who dared laying his filthy hands on Juudaime," and would swear that he'll "mutilate him, kill him, mutilate his corpse, and kill it again, just to be sure." Why was he so angry? If Tsuna liked Dino-san, then what was the problem? Unless… Gokudera was jealous.
The second that thought has crossed my mind, my body acted on its own. It just decided that Gokudera had to be marked as taken. He pushed me away immediately, but it was too late. Tsuna saw. And Tsuna wouldn't take what's mine even if he wanted it. Even if Gokudera wanted him too.
Which was stupid, now that I think about it, because the only thing Gokudera has to do now is break up with me. Which he will. I'm sure of it. I wish he would grab my baseball bat and smash my head with it.
I finally decided to look up, because my eyes were starting to burn holes in the floor. I thought I was hallucinating. Nothing has changed. Both Gokudera and Tsuna were doing their homework, Gokudera occasionally muttering something about "killing Bronco."
Did I miss something? Maybe I haven't really kissed him? Maybe it was only my imagination? That must be it! There's no other explanation! Ah, what a relief, Gokudera doesn't hate me, since I never did anything to make him hate me, I only thought I did! Ah, life's great!
After an hour, Tsuna got a text form Dino-san and told us to get lost. Well, not in those words, but he got the message across. Boy, was Gokudera reluctant. We walked in silence as Gokudera was smoking. He must really hate the thought of Tsuna being with Dino-san… right about… now… doing things that we usually do when we're alone.
I was nervous, too, but I don't really know why. Maybe his nervousness affected me somehow. Just before I started getting upset for good (probably from over-thinking again) we stopped in front of Gokudera's apartment. He put out his third cigarette, looked around and, confirming that nobody was around, he gave me a quick kiss.
"See you tomorrow. And if you ever do anything like that again, I will kill you, you understand?"
Eh? What? Do what?
"Don't play dumb now, shithead. Just because Juudaime knows and, apparently, it doesn't disgust the living shit out of him, doesn't mean I want him to witness such acts. Next time you want to shut me up, think of something better. I only let you off the hook now, because I admit I was getting carried away with my fantasies. After all, stupid Bronco was chosen by Juudaime."
Whoa. I did kiss him in front of Tsuna after all. But he got it all wrong. And Tsuna already knew. Wait, what?
"What do you mean Tsuna knows?"
"Of course he knows, idiot! As expected of Juudaime. And what do you mean? You kissedme even though you thought Juudaime doesn't know about us? You want to die? What were you thinking? Is there anything going on in that head of yours at all? Oi, baseball idiot!"
I was too happy for words. Tsuna knew about us, so I didn't have to pretend anymore! And Gokudera didn't hate me, because he misunderstood my stupid behavior! I smiled brightly and let out a short laugh followed by a soft "I love you." Gokudera blushed and dropped his eyes to the ground.
"You wanna come in?" he muttered. I just took his hand in mine and squeezed, and he led me upstairs. He took out his key and put it in the lock. "We're going to have sex to take my mind of that damn Bronco," he spat.
And I just laughed. I love Gokudera. I just love him.