TLS Flashfic 26 June 2013

"Thing is ... I really wanna be more than just friends."


"What're you doing up here?"

Trying to breathe.

"I drank too much."

"Me too."

The bed dips. Your head presses into the pillow, turned to watch me. Our eyes shaded in the dark.

"I want everyone to go home."

I never wanted them here at all.

"It's your party. You can kick them out."

"Yeah, but I feel bad. They've come to say goodbye."

Don't say that word.

You play with my fingers, counting my nails, tracing my knuckles. "I can't believe I'm finally going. What are you gonna do without me?"

You're the blood flowing through my veins, my heart's beat. The air that sinks into my lungs and lifts my chest in a rhythm of your making. My vital signs.

"I will most likely die."

You laugh.

I'm not joking.

"You will not. I'll be back before you know it."

It's not enough.

"I'll miss you." Your voice is weighted with intoxicated sleep.

A childhood spent in each other pockets yet my words have fallen through a hole in the lining. They dissolve unrequited on my tongue.

"I'll miss you too." A whisper only I hear.

.

I wake and wipe the dust of the night from my eyes. You're gone.

An impression in the crumpled sheets is all that's left with the heaviness of things unspoken.

Curling against your pillow, the scent of rivers and bonfires stutters a weak pulse that fades with the memory.

My fingers are clasped around my knees, pulling me tighter to hold the pieces together, when I see it.

Your scrawl, sliding up the inside of my knee in black marker, jump-starts everything.

I couldn't leave without telling you. I've only ever wanted you.

I chase the sunrise to give you my words before you leave.

I love you. Take me with you.