Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement was intended.
Song for this chapter – Cocaine by Eric Clapton
Warning: This story will have drug use, alcohol abuse, and graphic situations. It will also delve into underage sex; Bella will be seventeen and Edward is twenty-four. Remember this story is about becoming famous, and people that follow them around while on tour. Please be advised if this is not something you wish to read please back out now.
****If you haven't noticed by the title, this chapter will be dealing with Edward's addiction to cocaine. I have never touched the stuff and never plan on it. The information was found from talking to people who have and internet research. So, this might not be the typical situations. I also DO NOT advise anyone to get involved in any of these situations because they can and will destroy your life. I have included a website and a 800 number just in case you are struggling with addictions and want help. Please get it … www dot addictioncareoptions dot com backslash addiction-help ? gclid = CL - Ahdbs9rcCFTQOOgodziUAcQ (800) 784-6776 Remember ffn doesn't allow websites so take the spaces out. ~Thanks
Thanks for dannibags for suggesting this story, for correcting my errors, and for being awesome. Piesmom for making sure that everything is good before it's début.
What happens when two people share a room? Will things go bump in the night?
I watched as Izzy walked out of the room with Tinker Bell. If it wasn't for her interrupting, God knows how far I would have taken it. I hadn't been with a woman in a long time.
Kate had called the other day talking once again about getting divorced, if I wasn't going to come home. Why couldn't she understand that music was my life at the moment? I wasn't going to give up on my dream to come running home to work at the mill and try to attend school. She wanted me to go to school while I worked, but she failed to see that we couldn't and wouldn't live with our parents. How did she think we were going to survive otherwise?
I could probably still live with my parents and go to school had I not gotten married, but I wasn't about to bring that in on my parents. Nor did I know if they would even allow that, but I knew if I went back now, I would have to find Kate and me a place. Not only that, but I would have to put off furthering my education in order for her to do so. It's not that my education bothered me so much, but I did have a contingency plan in case this music thing didn't work out. The plan was that if things didn't work, I was going to go back and study music. I wanted to do something music related.
I walked over to the window in my room and fired up a cigarette, pulling the smoke into my lungs. I would sign the papers, if Kate would only send them to me. I wasn't in love with her. I don't know why we got married in the first place.
I blew the smoke out of my nose and walked away from the window. I didn't want to think about Kate. I wanted to think about Izzy. God, that kiss earlier had sent lightning bolts down my body and straight out of my dick. I wanted her more than I had ever wanted Kate or any other woman for that matter. I tried to watch her the last couple of days we were on the bus together to see what it was about her that drew me in, but I couldn't figure it out. I wondered if it was because she understood this whole music scene and the touring aspect to try to make it, but that seemed too easy of an out. I was the happiest I had been in a long time when she finally gave in to her uncomfortable sleeping position and laid across my lap. God I hoped I didn't get a fucking hard on. Before I realized what happened, I woke up with my arms tightly wrapped around her. I tried to play it off so she didn't get embarrassed. Kate might be able to understand too if she would pull her nose out of the damn clouds.
I knew if I ever made it big, Kate would be beside me in a heartbeat, but she didn't want to endure the long ride to getting to that point. She wants the fame, fortune, and the prestige that comes with being a rock star's wife. I just wanted to play music that everyone loved to hear. If we ever made it, the odds would be stacked against us. There are so many good groups out here, and we were in constant competition with them to be the best and get the spot. We had been lucky, but we still weren't big time yet. Hell, we could tour with the biggest name out there, but if something didn't click and we didn't make sales, we would be yesterday's news. One hit wonders long forgotten, and that is what we were at the moment.
'Lunar Moon' had gone straight to number one, but our albums weren't selling all that well. The reason for the tour was the record company's bright idea to get us more exposure; so our album would hopefully start to sell. If something happened and they didn't start selling, the label will drop us. Then we would go back to Forks and start over, go to college, or work at the local saw mill.
I reached down, grabbing my cap and walked out the door. Thinking about all these things was driving me crazy, and I needed something to take the edge off. James, a member of the road crew, would have something for me. It was just a matter of finding out where he was hiding.
It didn't take long to locate the prick. I hated him, but he was always able to get the good stuff for me. I wouldn't touch heroin, but yak, that was another story. Once I got a bump or two in my system, I felt like I was ten feet tall and fucking bullet proof. I loved the feeling, and God once it was running through me, I could fuck all night long. I had tried it a couple of times with Kate, but she never realized what I was doing. I couldn't get enough when I was jacked up out of my head. The only down fall to coke was that if I got a bad batch, it would make me moody and antisocial. That wasn't the point of me taking it. I wanted to be the life of the party, and when it was from good batch like James always had, I could be those things.
"Hey man," I said, walking up to James.
"What's up?" he asked, smiling.
He knew what I wanted and needed. I always got an 'eight ball'. It would usually last me the weekend, if I was lucky and if I didn't share that much. I tried to limit it to me though.
"You holding?" I asked, blowing out smoke from my cigarette.
"Yeah, the usual?" he asked.
I nodded. I handed him his money, and he handed me what I wanted.
"Pleasure doing business with you," he said, as I took my shit and left.
I didn't even reply back. I walked back to the room, waiting for Izzy to show up and to snort a line or two before she came back. I knew the band would be partying tonight and would all be gathered in Garrett's room to do so.
I opened the door to my room, shutting it behind me and headed straight over to the bathroom. I poured some of the blow out on the counter and cut it into two lines with my license. Once I was satisfied with the amount I had rationed out, I pulled a dollar bill out of my wallet and rolled it up. I leaned down and used the rolled up bill to suck the goodness into my system. I leaned back, holding my nose as I closed my eyes and felt the rush go through me. Fuck, I felt like I could take on the world.
I leaned down again to do the other line I had set out, and once again felt the high taking me over. I should be good for a while, I thought. I wiped down the counter and placed my license back in my wallet. I used the washcloth hanging on the rack to wash my face and gently wipe inside of my nostrils, guaranteeing that no one would know what I had been doing. I didn't know when Izzy would be back and didn't want her to see any leftover powder on my face. Hopefully my eyes wouldn't give it away.
When I looked in the mirror, I knew that if my mother saw me right now, she would be disappointed in me. I had talked to her earlier, and she was worried to death that with me being out in the music industry that I would find myself addicted to drugs or alcohol. And, she didn't want that for me, but she didn't understand that when the record label expects you to play all night long, you have to do it. Or, you are out a job or stardom. The alcohol was started first to claim my nerves and give me the courage to go on stage. All the guys in the band were drinking before we even came to LA. When you are standing in front of people, it's hard not to get nervous and being on tour amplified that because now we were in stadiums, not just bars. When we got the gig at 'The Whiskey', we became the main attraction and would have to play until the wee hours of the morning. So, I was having a hard time at first being able to go that long and with the alcohol in my system, it only made me sleeper. One of the bouncers at the club suggested trying the yak. He said it would keep me up and would give me the energy to make it through the sets. I took his advice and started using it on nights we had to play. But, somewhere along the way, it became my crutch, having to use it to go around people and talk. It had turned into an everyday custom just to function.
I walked out of the bathroom just in time to see the girls enter the room giggling. Izzy didn't say a word to me, just looked while a beautiful blush covered her face and chest.
Tinker Bell chimed in for her, "Here are the clothes. We're going to change in my room and meet the entire band in Garrett's." She grabbed Izzy's hand and led her out the door.
I found my clothes pretty quickly and placed them in my bag. I noticed a pair of Izzy's panties in the stack of clothes. I couldn't help the thoughts running around my brain as I picked them up. I rubbed the lacy material, wishing I would soon be able to see them on her body just before I removed them, with my teeth.
I could stand here all day and fantasize about her in her lingerie; however, I would like to try to talk her into letting me see them in real life. I gathered everything I wanted to take to Garrett's room and left. My fantasies would have to wait till another time.
It wasn't hard to find Garrett's room. People weren't actually in the room at this point; they were hanging out in the halls, lining up one side and down the other. Not only was it our band, but the roadies and whomever they wanted to bring. Hell, even some of the members of AC/DC were hanging around inside the room talking. It looked like a poker game was getting started.
I caught Izzy's eyes glance my direction from across the room. She was standing talking to some of the other girls that hung with our band. I didn't know everyone's names, but I knew they were some of her friends.
She looked beautiful standing across the room. Her brown eyes looked deep like you could almost lose your soul in their depths. Her brown hair had light red highlights that when she turned her head, the overhead lighting would catch them, showing them off. They highlighted her perfectly. Her skin wasn't pale white, but it wasn't the golden tan you would expect to see on a girl who lived in California the majority of her life. And her outfit was something to be desired. I couldn't for the life of me begin to describe her outfit, but let's just say her jeans were cut to fit her trim legs, making her ass look full and firm. Her shirt cut down into her chest showing off the ample amount of cleavage. I couldn't believe my tongue wasn't hanging out of head with the way she looked.
I got a beer and sat down on the couch across the room where I could watch her. I sat there staring, watching her interact with others, amazed by the fact that she always carried herself so well. She was laughing and having a good time with everyone. Our eyes would meet every so often, and we would have the longest moments of just staring at one another, but we never moved to get any closer. I wanted her to come to me, but this must have been a little game with her. She would sit across from me where I could watch her, but never would she sit beside me. I loved this little game she was playing. It was better than any game any of the other women around her played. They came up and were always so strong in their advances. It always made me feel bad that I shot them down, but I wasn't interested in what they had to offer.
"What's up with Edward and Izzy?" Jake asked Tinker Bell.
"I don't know, but something is definitely up between the two of them," Tinker mused.
I, of course, smiled into my beer looking over at Izzy. Everyone wanted to know what was going on between us. We were rooming together, and we had sat together on the bus for three days. So, it didn't surprise me that Jake would ask. I wondered if he was jealous.
"Do you think they are together now?" he asked, looking between the two of us. I winked at Izzy because I knew she could hear them too.
"It won't be long," Tinker Bell said, walking over to whisper something into Izzy's ear.
Within a matter of minutes, Izzy stood and motioned her head toward the door. I don't know if it was meant for me, but I wasn't going to miss a chance to be alone with her. I got up from my seat and quickly followed her out the door. I wasn't right on her tail, but I could watch her cute little ass swaying as she walked ahead of me. I was enjoying the view too.
She stopped right in front of our room, opening the door, and walking inside. I ran to catch her before the door could close behind her. I grabbed the door right before it shut, catching her off guard.
"You followed," she said.
"Of course I did," I replied, reaching out to touch her hand that was still holding the doorknob. We didn't move a muscle and stood there looking at one another for a couple of minutes. I removed her hand from the doorknob. She stepped to the side to allow me into the room. I walked in, closing the door behind me, making sure to hit the lock. I was not having someone barging in on us. I couldn't resist the temptation of her any longer, pushing her up against the wall.
"I've wanted you all night long," I said in low tones, almost whispering to her.
"I know," she whispered.
"Can I kiss you Izzy?" I asked.
"Please," she breathed.
It didn't take but a mere second for my lips to meet her lips. I could feel the electrical shock immediately as it radiated through my lips and down my spine. Her lips were tender and sweet, and this time I wanted to taste her. Hell, I wanted to crawl inside of her and not surface for years. I licked the outside of her lips asking for permission to kiss her deeper. She opened her mouth enough for me to truly taste her. We didn't fight for dominance; we went with the feeling of one another. It wasn't about how far I could jam my tongue down her throat either.
I heard her moan, so I pulled her body closer to mine and pinned her closer to the wall. I had both hands on the sides of her face. I wasn't about to let her out of my grasp. I rubbed my hardened cock against her, letting her feel what she was doing to me. I wanted her badly.
She pulled away from the kiss, resting her forehead against my chest, while putting her hands there also to push me back.
"Edward," she said, while her hands still rested on my chest.
"We need to talk before this can go any further," she said, as she escaped my grasp. I watched her walk over to the window and look out.
"I will tell you anything you want to know about Kate," I said.
She already knew about the fact that I was married, but if she wanted to know the absolute truth, I would open up and tell her. Kate and I were taking different paths in life. I was really just waiting for the divorce papers to come in the mail. Maybe I should ask Jasper about having him find an attorney to have them drawn up and send them to her myself. God, if she waited and we did become something, she could get half of everything I had, just for being a bitch that never supported me or the band.
"It's not about Kate, even though I would like to know about that too. It's more about me," she said.
I walked up behind her and captured her in my arms, placing kisses on her neck.
"We have the entire tour to talk about you and me," I said, sucking a place on her neck marking her as mine and allowing my still aching cock to rub up against her ass.
"Stop," she said, pulling out of my hold once again, turning to look at me.
"I don't want to stop," I said, walking closer to her.
"Can't you feel what you do to me?" I asked, grabbing her hand and placing it on my hard dick.
"You might not want to be with me once you know," she stated, looking me right in the eyes and removing her hand.
"What's there to know? Are you a runaway, a teenager, or are you an actual groupie?" I said sarcastically. I didn't really think she was any of those things. But when she didn't keep her hand on my groin and was acting like she had a big secret to reveal, I got a little pissed.
She forcefully pushed me down onto the bed, reached into my pockets, and pulled out my pack of cigarettes. I lay back on the bed and watched her pull a cigarette out and light it, walking back over to the window.
"Do you know how old I am?" she asked, with her back still facing me.
"No, but you can't be much older than eighteen or so," I said.
I really didn't know how old any of the girls that were traveling with us were, but it never really mattered to me.
"I should be in school today."
"That doesn't matter to me. Hell, half the people in California are dropouts from different states, looking to make it big. Do you not know that the band and I moved to California when we were eighteen?" I replied.
"I'm seventeen," she said, as the smoke from the cigarette surrounded her head.
"So," I replied. I wasn't expecting sixteen, but it wasn't that bad.
"It doesn't bother you?" she asked, still not facing me.
"Why would it? So what, I'm what, eight years older than you?" I said shrugging my shoulders.
"That's not all," she said, stubbing out the cigarette in the ashtray sitting on the window ledge.
She walked over to the bed and sat at the head with her upper body leaning against the headboard.
"My real name is Isabella Marie Swan; my father is the Chief of Police in Forks, Washington. I have been living with my mother since the day she decided she didn't want to stay in a small town anymore. I have only seen my father a handful of times since I was little. The one thing I can give him is that he hasn't ever fought my mother for me, and he pays his child support regularly."
"You're not going to believe me, but I know your father. I know we saw all our families in Seattle but actually...we are from Forks," I said.
I couldn't believe I hadn't seen it before. I used to hang out down the reservation in my youth and sometimes the boys and I would end up at the diner after words. I had seen the Chief of Police there every so often. But, there was one time when we were causing a little scene in the diner that the Chief had to come over and calm us down. I don't know much about him, but I did know who he was. Other than that one time he spoke to us, I had only seen him in passing. We pretty much stayed out of trouble.
"You are from Forks? Not Seattle? Oh my God ... I can't believe you know who my dad is. You have never heard the rumours of the flighty Police Chief's wife that took off with his daughter?" she looked at me puzzled.
"Nope," I answered popping the p at her, trying to be serious.
"It's about a two hour drive, so our families drove from Forks to Seattle to watch us play. I think my dad, Dr. Cullen, knows your father much better. He is the Chief at the hospital and runs the ER. I was more interested in my music to get involved with anything else. He helped the reservation get a clinic there because they refused to go to Forks Hospital."
"Well, that's great," she said very cocky. I didn't know what part she was referring to; about me knowing her dad or my dad helping build the hospital on the reservation. I didn't bother to ask either.
"Why did you leave your mother?" I asked, wanting to get this out of the way. I was wide awake anyhow; why not talk? It didn't look like anything else was going to happen right now. This was okay with me. How strange, I thought? I always wanted to get laid, but I was content to sit and listen to her problems. I would have waited and let it come out over time during the tour, but we might as well get it done now.
It didn't take her long to tell me about Renee and the slim ball stepfather of hers. I never wanted to see Izzy go back to her mother and that piece of shit. I would rather her stay with me. Hell, I would do anything to help her.
I crawled up to her and grabbed her face. I wanted her to look at me and answer me truthfully, when I asked my question.
"Has he ever touched you ... sexually?" I asked because if he had ever laid a hand on her, I would take the first bus back to LA and kill him.
"No, he tried right before I left though," she said through tears.
"What did he try?" I asked because I needed the specifics.
"If I would have stayed the night you guys left on tour, he had promised he would have me."
"And you mean sexually right?" I asked.
"Izzy," I said, getting her to look at me again.
"Are you a virgin?" I asked because she all of a sudden looked to innocent.
"Yes, I'm a virgin," she whispered, looking down.
"Oh, my sweet girl," I said, kissing her head.
"I'm so sorry," she cried.
I should have known she wasn't like the others who had hung around the band. Hell, the whole group wasn't like the others. I just assumed that being that they loved to take care of the band that somewhere along the way it would have happened. I had even heard tales of Jessi Lee already sleeping with both Garrett and Jake. So I assumed all of them were the same as her. Actually, I thought they were all older than they apparently were. I still wasn't sure about the others though.
"Everyone assumes we are an easy lay because of Jessi," she said, rolling her eyes.
"She's not been with us long, and it's hard to break her old ways. She used to run with Victoria," she said, looking at me weird, but didn't say anything else.
"I don't know who Victoria is," I said. They all looked alike to me, most of the time. Only a handful ever really stuck out.
"She was the red head hanging out at 'The Whiskey' the night I met you, and she often frequented the Riot House," she said.
"Still don't ring a bell," I said, trying to figure out who she was.
"She has blue eyes, and she always looked pissed," she said, as her eyes bored into my soul.
"Maybe the band knows her as 'Vixen'," Izzy said, still narrowing her eyes at me. But to tell you the truth, I couldn't remember this girl at all.
"How many girls have you been with Edward? Or, should I call you your nickname, 'Big Cock Eddie'?"
"I don't know," I chuckled. I loved the nickname because it was true.
"You see Edward, I know more about you than you realize. I know that you have been with Vixen/Victoria because she bragged about how she had you while your wife was in another room at the Riot House. She had a Polaroid of the both of you together as her proof. She wanted to get to the rest of the band the night we came to 'The Whiskey'. Supposedly she hasn't slept with Mike yet and wanted to have him too. She's waiting for you to become famous; then she will use the picture to collect money or have proof she slept with tons of rock stars," she said.
It wasn't past me to sleep with someone when Kate was in town. Kate would get pissed and withhold sex, that wasn't when I would seek someone out. But when she would threaten to get a divorce and leave the apartment for a couple of days, I would find the next best thing. I went from having sex two or three times a day to being lucky to getting it once a fucking month. I was jacking off more than I should have been while living with my wife, and then she would pull her shit. I would find someone who was willing to put out. I wasn't shocked with the information, but I still didn't know who this woman was. What stopped me from being with someone now was Jasper. When he explained the difference between the girls, I had a change of heart and knew I wanted more than someone who was out to make a name for herself. Sounds kind of weird coming from a guy, but I really just didn't want to keep being another notch in a groupie whore's bedpost. So she could go around and brag about how many 'rock stars' she's fucked. I already had that type of woman in my life. I was trying to get rid of her, and we speak.
"Come here," I said, pulling her to lie on my chest. She fit perfectly right onto my body, like we were made for each other.
"I haven't been with anyone since Jasper became the group's manager," I said.
"How long has that been?" she asked, allowing her hands to stroke up and down my chest.
"A few months now," I said.
"So, you haven't been with anyone in the last three months or so?" she repeated.
"Yeah," I replied.
"If I decide to be with you like that, there can't be anyone else," she said, looking up into my eyes. She could have asked for my life in that moment, and I would have given it to her. There was nothing I would not give this woman. I was totally under her spell.
"I understand," I said, looking into the brown pools.
"Not even Kate," she stated.
"Not even Kate," I replied.
"It won't be tonight, and we have to get to know one another first. I didn't plan on giving it to the first person I felt drawn to. It always had to be something more for me. More than just a boyfriend, and I feel that potential with you. I don't want you to get your hopes up; you have to give me time."
"As long as I can kiss you and hold you, I will be all right," I said, leaning down as she lifted up to kiss again.
The kiss wasn't long, and it ended quicker than I had hoped, but I wasn't upset. I actually felt kind of calm with Izzy lying in my arms.
It didn't take long for her to fall asleep. I lay for hours, playing with her hair, but when five in the morning rolled around and I still hadn't slept a wink, I reached over into the drawer and pulled out a sleeping pill. The coke in my system had kept me awake all night like it was supposed to, but now I needed some sleep because tonight we had a show. I swallowed the pill without water and shifted down in the bed, hugging Izzy close to my body.
A/N: So, rockward has an addiction of sorts, and it could get rough because of his problem, but no worries, he will figure it out before it's too late. We learned a little more about his problem this chapter. As always be kind and review.