Hinata knew that she had any number of daddy issues to work through. Throughout most of her childhood, her father had been a wall of coldly disapproving silence that she couldn't work her way over, around or through no matter how hard she tried. It had mostly been her father who had completely destroyed her confidence to the point that she'd grown so incredibly shy that the boy who sat in his room all day tending to his stamp collection when he hadn't been at the Academy with her and her classmates seemed outgoing in comparison. The actions of the clan who had pretty much followed his lead after she'd "failed to show promise" didn't help any either.
When the group of adults turned children had disbanded, Hinata had decided to go home and work her way through at least some of the issues she had with her father, since it wasn't her past, and the father with whom she'd mostly reconciled in recent years wouldn't have to know after-all. As she wandered through the Hyuuga compound, she caught sight of Neji determinedly ignoring everyone around him as he trained relentlessly. The sight was bittersweet because she hadn't seen Neji since he'd died in the fight with the Jyuubi, and now that she was seeing him, it was back in the days when he'd hated her because of what had happened to his father after she'd been kidnapped. Yet another issue she had to work through...
As Hinata approached the spot where her father was calmly sitting and drinking tea while staring out into the neatly tended gardens, she decided to start off small seeing as it wouldn't do to do too much too soon. When she reached her father, she calmly greeted him by setting him on fire. As the man rolled around on the ground trying to put the fire out, her hands moved towards the button that fastened the trousers she was currently wearing.
"Nah," she said, moving her hands away from the button before turning and walking off.
As she walked away, several members of the clan stared after her in amazement, having never seen someone actually physically demonstrate that they wouldn't piss on an individual if they were on fire. The fact that it was the Clan Heiress demonstrating that using the Clan Head and that this could be considered an assassination attempt hadn't fully processed, because their brains were still too busy trying to reboot.
"Told him she was gonna snap one of these days." one of the clan elders who had witnessed just such an event four generations prior idly remarked.
That apparently broke the spell, because members of the clan started jumping into action, either trying to put the flaming Hiashi out or trying to catch his daughter who had somehow managed to avoid all pursuers. In the midst of the chaos, Neji sat there cursing Fate for letting Hinata do what he'd wanted to do since he was four years old.
There was a speculative gleam in Danzo's remaining eye as he looked down at the small naked child who had appeared in the Hokage's office via the long neglected Hiraishin seal in the corner. He'd long been trying to get his old friend and rival to give the boy to him for training before that moment, when he had thought the brat to be completely unskilled and to have been born with Kushina's brains and none of her other redeeming qualities. Now, as he eyed the boy who stood nude on the Hiraishin seal that the Yondaime had left in the Hokage's office and the Sandaime had preserved for posterity, he was wondering exactly what he could do with a child of the Uzumaki's apparent talents rather than with a mere Jinchurriki.
"Dude, can you stop looking at me like that?!" the boy asked as he covered his privates with his hands. "Orochimaru has given me enough fucking nightmares over the years."
Danzo blinked, visibly showing confusion for the first time in a good long while. As far as he knew, the Uzumaki child had never encountered Orochimaru or even so much as heard the traitor's name. So, how could someone that Naruto had never seen or heard of give him nightmares? If the Uzumaki child actually had encountered Orochimaru, heads would be rolling for this lapse in intel.
The Uzumaki boy had apparently incorrectly interpreted Danzo's blink if his horrified disgust was any indication. That had happened more often than Danzo cared to admit since he'd lost his eye and replaced it with a Sharingan that he continually had to keep bandaged. One one memorable occasion, he'd even gotten slapped in the street after a speck of dust had flown into his eye while he was on a walk. Most one-eyed men didn't encounter this particular problem, but he apparently gave off "creepy old man" vibes if all of those kids whom he'd pulled from the orphanage over the years were to be believed.
Before the Uzumaki could do more than stare at him in horror, Hiruzen arrived looking none too pleased to find the boy in his office.
"Well, since you're here, maybe you'll care to explain your answer as to why you were urinating on my sensei's head. And, after that, you can explain how you know the Hiraishin." Hiruzen said in his "If you don't start talking now, I'll literally have your guts for garters" tone of voice.
"Long story short, I came from a world where it's the future already." the Uzumaki said.
"And, the rest of the story is?" Koharu asked, giving the Uzumaki child her best evil old lady look.
"Kaguya ate some fruit which started the whole Chakra thing blah blah blah The Sage of the Six paths and his brother had Chakra which upset Kaguya blah blah bla Split the Jyuubi into 9 tailed beasts blah blah blah Indra and Asura started fighting over their father's legacy blah blah blah Era of the warring clans blah blah blah Hashirama and Madara were friends blah blah blah Big fight blah blah blah Tobirama killed Izuna blah blah blah Konoha got founded blah blah blah Tobirama went behind Hashirama and Madara's backs and got Hashirama made Hokage blah blah blah Madara went batshit insane and left blah blah blah Fight at the Valley of the End blah blah blah Madara survived and decided to put the world under a Genjutsu using the Jyuubi blah blah blah Madara saved Obito blah blah blah Nohara Rin died blah blah blah Obito released the Kyuubi blah blah blah Council orders Itachi to massacre the Uchiha blah blah blah Konoha gets invaded by Orochimaru blah blah blah Akatsuki blah blah blah Fourth Shinobi World War blah blah blah Madara double-crossed Obito blah blah blah Obito became the Jyuubi Jinchuriki blah blah blah Obito defeated but doesn't die when he should've. Again. blah blah blah Madara turned into Kaguya who wanted to take back all the Chakra or something like that blah blah blah Kaguya defeated through a bunch of weird bullshit that even I don't entirely believe and I was right there in the middle of it, war ends, everyone goes home, and I become Hokage when Kakashi-sensei who took over from Tsunade Baa-chan finally decided I was old enough to have the hat." the Uzumaki child said in a deadpan tone of voice, looking completely bored.
Normally, Danzo would not put up with such disrespect from a child, but after seeing Hiruzen, Koharu and Homura's reactions, he was willing to put up with it just this once. It hadn't been directed at him after all. Rather than confronting Naruto with an impassive visage as he stood united with the Hokage and the Council, Danzo indulged in a small amused smile.
"Oh god, it's smiling at me!" the Uzumaki exclaimed in horror, looking directly at him and making gestures that were meant to ward off evil.
That would not be borne however.
Lunging towards the boy, he prepared to give the Uzumaki child a beating it would never forget. A beating that was long overdue in his opinion.
"Rape!" the Uzumaki screamed the instant he'd reached him.
Rather than help the unfortunate child who continued to scream rape as he evaded the one-eyed war hawk, the Hokage and his former teammates sat there laughing together for the first time in years. Trust Naruto to be the one who managed to get Danzo to break discipline. Just like his mother.
Sai wandered around the ROOT headquarters wondering at the strange looks he was receiving. It was almost as if nobody recognized him.
Maybe it was his clothes. When he'd woken up and found himself in the past that morning, he had been in the woods, and he'd been wearing a somewhat ragged outfit he didn't recognize. After discerning that he was not his adult self and that the village was as it had been before Pein's destruction of the village shortly prior to the 4th Shinobi World War, the first thing he had done had been to try and find his Hokage. Because he'd been so busy searching for Naruto and later regrouping with all of the other time travelers, he hadn't had the opportunity to change into something more familiar until just a little while before.
It was when someone who looked like a younger version of Torune had cornered him off the dormitories before he could enter his room and change into something more appropriate for this time that a memory of his old life which he'd become completely disassociated from due to Danzo's training had hit. Apparently, Danzo hadn't retrieved him from the orphanage until he was nine.