Disclaimer: I don't own dbz

One-shot. My first funny fic

This was rated PG, but it does have mild cursing and one F word used in it. Please do not be offended.

And Trunks has a tail in this. Other than that, it's not A/U

Vegeta Tries To Feed Baby Trunks

"Woman, the brat won't eat!" Vegeta glared at the innocent-looking baby in front of him. "Hmph. But you're not innocent at all, are you, little brat?"

Trunks looked up from his high-chair tray. He stared blankly at his father. Vegeta snarled.

"Stop doing that!" he yelled. But Trunks continued to look up at him. "Eat!" Vegeta stated, "Eat! You're a Saiyan! You love to eat!"

Trunks blinked. His tiny fist that rested on the tray grasped Vegeta's right thumb. He raised the thumb to his mouth, drooling on it. Vegeta smirked. "See, you do want to eat. But don't eat my thumb," he pointed to the can of baby food, "Eat this."

Trunks continued to drool. Vegeta growled and pulled his thumb away. Trunks' chin quivered and his small arms stretched out desperately trying to get his Daddy back. He let out a whimper. Vegeta narrowed his eyes. "Don't start crying, boy. You know you're hungry. Eat," he said and spooned out red mush from the can. Trunks whimpered again. His tail, which hung down behind the chair, shivered. He began to wail.

Immediately, Bulma rushed out of her workroom. She ran over to the high chair, carefully picking Trunks up. "What did you do to him, Vegeta!?" she questioned angrily while whispering softly and soothingly to Trunks. Vegeta set the spoon down and folded his arms.

"The damn brat won't eat."

"My poor Trunksie," Bulma cooed, ignoring Vegeta, "Daddy yelled at you, didn't he?" She glared at Vegeta. "Well?"

"He's crying because I took my thumb away."

"What?" Bulma stroked Trunks' back.

"He wanted to suck my thumb, so I took it away."

Bulma giggled. "Anyway," she began, setting the now happy Trunks back into his high chair, "You said he won't eat?"

Vegeta nodded. Bulma rolled her eyes. "You're obviously not feeding him properly." She dug the spoon back into the red mush. "Here, Trunksie! Open up wide!" She inched the spoon towards him. Trunks eagerly cooperated, happily swallowing the baby food. Vegeta blushed slightly.

"Woman, I swear, I did the same thing and he still won't eat," he protested. Bulma handed the spoon to him.

"Well, then. You try." She stepped back, awaiting the results of Vegeta's parenting skills. Vegeta held the spoon up the Trunks' mouth.


Trunks blinked, then slowly gulped the red mush down. Vegeta stood up proudly, smirking. "Ha! So, the brat does know not to mess with me!"

Bulma laughed softly and turned, walking back to her workroom. Trunks' eyes followed her until she was no longer visible in the twisting hallway. Vegeta scooped up more baby food. "Alright, boy. Eat." He thrust the spoon at him. Trunks' mouth wouldn't budge. Vegeta dropped the spoon with disgust. "Boy!" he yelled. Annoyed. Trunks looked up at him blankly. Vegeta growled. "Fine, brat. If you want it the hard way…" He lunged at the baby in front of him, grasping the upper and lower parts of Trunks' mouth.

Vegeta began to pry Trunks' tiny lips apart. Or he tried…A few minutes later, Vegeta was Super-Saiyan. Sweat dripped off his forehead into his eyes. Trunks' face remained calm, his emotionless expression still fixed on his panting father. And his mouth had still not moved. Vegeta collapsed on the floor in utter defeat. "Damn you, Trunks!" he muttered. He had been conquered by a mere child; his own child.

Without warning, Vegeta leapt up. "But I haven't been vanquished yet!" he shouted. In the other room, Bulma had stopped working on her designs for a solar-powered stroller. Instead, she sat in her chair, her head propped up by her hand, listening to the conversation going on ion the kitchen. Every so often, she would hear her mate insist that he "was not defeated yet." But mostly it was just screams of a power struggle between two opposing forces.

But she hadn't heard a peep out of Trunks. Curious, Bulma decided to check what all the commotion was about. She strode out of the room, winding around the hallways, then nearly collapsed with laughter when she saw her mate and son.

Vegeta glowered at Bulma, who seemed to think it was hilarious to see him in this predicament. "What's so funny, Woman?" he questioned while continuing to try to open Trunks' mouth. Bulma leaned on the wall for support, but still could not speak. The stubborn Trunks slowly turned his head, saw his mother and began to smile. Vegeta blushed and let go of Trunks. He powered down to his normal form and folded his arms. "Woman. This--this brat refuses to eat if you're not around," he explained, frowning. Bulma giggled again.

"Don't be ridiculous, Vegeta. Just relax. He'll let you feed him if you're less--less aggressive toward him," she advised and winked, "Maybe if you're silly he'll let you."

Vegeta blinked. "Silly?"

Bulma nodded. "Yeah. Playful."

Vegeta's scowl deepened. "Woman, I am a warrior. I do not act 'playful.'" He shuddered at the thought. Bulma rolled her eyes.

"Just be nicer." She turned slowly, laughing, and walked back to the world of science. Vegeta looked back at Trunks, whose smile had turned back into a blank expression. Vegeta cursed under his breath. "Be nice…" he muttered. He picked up the spoon from the floor, rubbed the back on his shirt and set it on the tray. He lowered his head so that it was an inch away from his son's.

"You listen to me, boy. You will eat this baby food. You are a disgrace to the Saiyan race if you don't. Got it?" Vegeta ordered. Trunks blew a spit bubble. Vegeta jerked his head back disgustedly. He scooped up the red mush and held the spoon in front of Trunks. "Open your mouth. Now." Vegeta said sternly. Trunks blew another spit bubble. Vegeta slammed his hands against the wall, shaking the house. His onyx eyes sparked with anger. "Goddamn it, Trunks! Just eat the fucking food!!"

For Vegeta, a miracle occurred. Trunks' blank face broke into a smile. His blue eyes shone with playfulness. And he giggled. Vegeta blinked. He eyed the food, then the laughing baby, then the food again. He lunged for the red mush, grabbed the spoon and quickly stuffed the mush down Trunks' throat. The laughing ceased abruptly. Trunks did nothing for a few moments. Vegeta smirked triumphantly and held the baby above his head.

"Ha! You could never defeat Vegeta! Never! What do you have to say about that, huh!?" Vegeta laughed. Trunks' tail twitched, then was still. His chin quivered. He threw up.

Bulma heard Vegeta calling her from the kitchen. She rolled her eyes. This was the last time he would interrupt her! "What is it, Vegeta!?" she cried. Vegeta screamed curses in another language, then replied.

"Woman, the damn brat's--regurgitated on me!!"

Bulma sighed and laughed softly. "Well, Vegeta, welcome to Daddyhood!!"

More impatient screaming.

Vegeta glared at Trunks, who was back in his high chair. Vegeta narrowed his eyes. "You've really done it this time, brat!!" He struggled to control his actions.

Trunks' mouth curved up into a smile. And a little pink tongue protruded from it.


So, how was it? I hope it was funny!

Please, tell me your questions, comments, suggestions. REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!

And please read my other DBZ fic, "The Black Phoenix"

Thank you!!