"You got your dick out in public. At the dinner table." Wilson was exasperated.

It only seemed natural that House should reply in in the prissy teenage girl voice he was so very fond of; "Yeah, but only for like a second."

"House." It seemed ridiculous that one man could say a word in so many different ways, this time accompanied by a half eye-roll and a well deserved sigh, but the exercising of vocal inflections was just par for the course when your best friend was an egotistical maniac. The more ridiculous the actions, the more he got to hear his name, why wouldn't House act out?

"I was just proving a point", both hands and pitch rose in his reply, and the sociopathic doctor's eyes widened in innocence as his cane jutted out to trip up an orderly.

Wilson pretended not to notice.

"No one is as nice as that guy. Or as nice as he claims to be. He may have 'world's best dad' tattooed on his head when I'm the honorary son, but guess what? Once it's paternal he's just as big an asshole as the rest of us lowly mortals."

"Which you demonstrated by getting your dick out."

House's eyebrows furrowed. "Your point being?"

It took all Wilson had to not bang his head against the wall. He was so very glad House didn't have children. Christ! Baby Houses? Little mini Gregs running around and playing pranks and being deceptively smart and taking out their dicks at the dinner table. "Never have kids."