Welp. It's been forever... Again. Here we go, though!
"Naruto, how long are you going to wear that?" Sakura asked, looking at the coat that hung loosely on Naruto's shoulders, as she currently wasn't wearing the sleeves the way she should. something to do with them being too long to be comfortable yet.
"Well, I don't have another jacket, and Satchan told me I'm no longer allowed to wear my shirts without a jacket. I don't know what's wrong with them, but Satchan said she'll hit me if I don't wear something to cover them," she said, frowning.
"They're all white and get transparent when wet. We're on a boat," she said, gesturing to the empty expanse of the ocean and the distant land as Kakashi rowed to get them back to land. Their mission had been a success, and they'd gotten a massive bonus for stopping the threat. Kakashi in particular, as most nobles had been incredibly impressed by his performance. To him, it was just another day on the job, but it did feel like he was back as a lone jounin with his pay instead of being forced to survive on genin squad leader pay.
Fortunately, he was cheap in all tastes, so it's not like he was smarting for money, but he liked complaining about things he had no reason to complain about. He liked annoying people, and that had a way of annoying people like crazy.
"I dunno, the practice of taking trophies from the opponents we defeat fell from grace some years back, but it used to be real popular," Kakashi commented, as he rowed slowly, in the laziest way he could, which was lengthening the trip. Served his team right for forcing him to row.
"Still..." Sakura said, shivering. "That man almost-"
"Almost nothing, Sakura," Satsuki said, growling a little. "That man defeated us without even trying. To me, that's just a reminder of what I have to do," she said, gesturing to where Naruto was polishing the sword she'd taken from the man with an old rag. It was clear Naruto was supremely bored, and they'd already told her to shut up unless she was spoken to, so she was also kind of offended.
Of course, Naruto was upset for all of twelve minutes, and then she was simply calmed by the monotony of an action as simple and repetitive as cleaning a sword.
"That's what you're taking offense to!?" Sakura nearly screeched.
"Yes. We signed up for this. You knew this could happen when you signed your Genin contract, didn't you?" Satsuki asked.
"Yes, but... To experience it is completely different," Sakura said, looking at the brown, wet planks that made the floor below her. At least they'd lent Team 7 one of the lifeboats that was in better state. For a boat full of nobles, the lifeboats just plain sucked.
"Maa, Satsuki is right. You should've received counseling for this already. Just be glad. When I was at the academy to receive those same lectures, I was five years old," stated Kakashi, rolling his sole visible eye. "And I was sent in my first lipstick mission not too long after that. Ah, I was such a cute little kid back then, I was popular for these, you know?"
Sakura paled considerably. "S-Sensei-!?"
"It happens, Sakura, and you just have to deal with it," Kakashi said. "Contrary to civilian popular belief, it does get easier with time, and you guys are more resilient than you give yourself credit for," he said, waving off her concerns. "I just thought of something... why am I not using a Shadow clone to row for me?" he asked himself, sounding mystified.
He stood up and walked so he had enough space to summon a clone, which he then proceeded to do. The clone groaned, but sat down to dutifully row.
"Okay, now that it's dealt with, I can use this time to give you guys an important lesson: Shit happens," he said, leaning against his clone's back and using it as a mutual backrest.
"That's it?" Satsuki asked.
"I'd prefer a new jutsu, really. Maybe that clone jutsu?"
Kakashi snorted. "It'll fry your pretty little brain, Naru-chan!" Kakashi said, reaching out and messing up her hair, using a little more strength to force her to look elsewhere. He wasn't certain he'd be capable of resisting the puppy dog eyes that she would certainly resort to in order to get her way. "When those dispell, they give you all their memories. And if they live too long, or you use too many at a time, it'll give you an aneurysm-"
"What's one of those?" Naruto asked.
"Let's just say it'll melt your brain and leave it at that," Sakura said, "I'm not in the mood to explain it," she said.
Satsuki was pensive for a second, before her cheeks were colored pink and she shook her head, slapping her own cheeks in order to make the heat in them go away.
"Well, that must've been one fun mental image," Kakashi said, grinning underneath his mask. "Anyhow, might as well relax."
"Can I go for a swim? I'm bored," Naruto said, pouting at Kakashi.
Kakashi knew resistance was futile. "Okay, but don't go too far out. Actually, this sounds like it'd be good exercise... I got an idea. All of you will go swimming. Do three dozen laps around the boat, on a ten foot radius from the boat itself, and then you can swim freely," he said. "And yes, that's an order."
"None of us has clothes to swim in," Sakura pointed out.
"Sakura, I assure you, we're alone here, and I have absolutely no interest in your prepubescent girl bodies. Plus, these days, bathing suits barely cover any more than your underwear," Kakashi said, rolling his eyes. "You're a ninja now. I technically have the authority to order you to dance naked in the middle of Konoha if I want to. Of course, I'd also get slapped with a fine for Public Indecency, but if you didn't do it, you'd get slapped with a fine and a black mark for insubordination."
"That's... that's just awful!" Sakura cried.
Satsuki scoffed. "Sakura, we're soldiers under Sensei's command. My mother once told me that her teacher had the authority to order her team to perform sexual favors for her. And that hasn't changed in the last twenty years, has it?"
"Actually, it has. The Yondaime made laws against the abuse of genin by their jounin teachers, but even then, the correct justification can still let a jounin get away with doing that. If I were to place an application to train you for seduction, for instance, all I'd need is you signing off on a waiver and then you'd have no legal recourse to prevent it. If I wanted to do it with Sakura, I'd have to make her parents sign it. Naruto's guardian as a ward of the village is the Hokage, so all I'd need is his own signature on it," of course Kakashi wasn't telling them that it was incredibly rare for a jounin teacher to do this, and the ones that did were usually the chunin teachers of the bulk of the shinobi forces, as the elite forces rarely engaged in such practice. Kakashi himself was an exception, and one of the very few, due to his career choice of infiltration and assassination.
"I thought we were adults and able to make such decisions by ourselves the moment we graduated as genin," Sakura said, frowning.
"For most things, you are. You could go to a bar and the only identification you need is your headband, and you could actually go into strip clubs and casinos with no problem. However, certain matters, most involving what your jounin teacher can or can't do with you, require parental or clan input, depending on your situation. Minato-sensei made it this way because of the possibility of abuse," Kakashi continued to explain, looking at the distant horizon, almost wistful and nostalgic, "he was a great man."
Sakura nodded, seeing the wisdom in the Fourth Hokage's actions. "But wait, you said you'd need Satsuki-san's signature for her... wouldn't that defeat the point?"
"Technically, she is her own Clan Head, which supercedes her status as a genin in legal situations like this one," Kakashi explained. "Even though she's not managing her clan's affairs..."
"You aren't?" Sakura asked.
"Of course I am not. I have things far more important to do. I asked Hokage-sama to appoint a curator for my state," replied Satsuki, looking at Sakura as if she'd just asked something incredibly stupid. "Even if I wanted to, I never received my father's training to manage the clan's affairs, so I have no idea what to do, or how to do it, to manage it."
"Anyhow, these limitations are removed when, and if, you make chunin," Kakashi said, leaning back against his clone's back. "By then, you're expected to be mature enough to make your own decisions. Most of you have already faced death and hopefully come out better for it by that time. Anyway, you really should get to doing your forty eight laps around the boat, or I'll make it sixty," he said.
"What!? I thought-" Sakura protested.
"You thought wrong. Chop chop!"
Satsuki blinked. "Wait, where is Naruto?" she asked, looking around, before looking down, seeing all of Naruto's clothes. She groaned. "Of course," she said, shaking her head.
Sakura blinked and lifted a small piece of white fabric. "Naruto is..."
Satsuki groaned. "Goddammit, Naruto," she said, seeing the pair of panties Sakura held in her hand.
Kakashi rolled his eyes. "I told you, nobody is going to be looking at you. Trust me, your bodies do absolutely nothing for me, and if I wanted to get laid, I don't need to force my students into anything to do it. If you wear your underwear while swimming, you'll have to take it off to put on the rest of your clothes back on again until it dries."
Sakura frowned, and seemed to be frustrated in the extreme.
"Comeon, Satchan, Sakura-chan!"
"Naruto, I counted only twenty six! Get back to it!" Kakashi yelled.
Kakashi then turned back to his other two students. "Though, if you wanna swim with the jutsu Naruto taught you, then..."
Sakura threw Naruto's panties right in Kakashi's face. He was not fazed.
"Pervert," Satsuki said under her breath.
"Well, it'd be a chakra control exercise... Maintain that technique while also concentrated on swimming," Kakashi said, rubbing his chin. They did not see him grin underneath his mask. "Naruto! Get back here for a minute! I've changed my mind on this exercise!"
"But I'm almost done!" Naruto whined.
"So it went to hell, then," Hiruzen said. "I'd heard of it. The other leaf Jounin on the mission, Kimura-"
"How is that man a jounin? I don't think I even saw him, once," Kakashi said, frowning slightly.
Sarutobi Hiruzen, the third Hokage, rested his elbows on his desk and looked at Kakashi flatly. "If you interrupt me again, I will reassign your team to someone else."
"Anything but that!" Kakashi pleaded.
"Then shut up. Like I said, the other jounin already gave me a complete report, so you don't need to give an official report. Go get a D Rank and get to work!"
Kakashi ran out of the Hokage's office.
"I wonder what happened to make him so attached to his team..." the only remaining visible person in the office asked, mostly to himself.
"Hinata-chaaaaan!" Naruto yelled, as she crashed Team 8's party, tackling one Hyuuga Hinata to the ground, causing her face to be colored red. "I haven't seen you in a while!" yelled the hyperactive blond. "Hey, have your boobs grown in the time I was gone? They seem bigger!" she continued, and only then did anyone notice that Naruto's hands had snaked under Hinata's bulky jacket.
"The hell," Team 8's sensei reacted, looking around the clearing Team 8 had chosen as a training ground for the day. It was a clear, open space that was lacking in training facilities, so Naruto thought they'd just been resting.
"N-N-N-Naruto!" Hinata nearly shrieked.
"Oh, right," Naruto said, withdrawing sheepishly. "It's just, I've been so busy with all the training I've been doing to catch up with Satchan that I haven't been able to see you for a while!" she explained, grinning widely. "Plus, I went on a mission, and it was really boring, except for these guys who attacked this really big boat we were on, and then I met B-niichan and-"
Hinata was still redfaced. "P-Please, Naruto-chan! Breathe!" she nearly yelled. "Take a moment!"
"Hinata, can you explain to me just what the hell is going on?!" the only adult of the group asked, clearly annoyed.
"What's there to explain?" Naruto asked, clearly confused. "And... who is the pretty lady, Hinata-chan?"
"T-That's my teacher, Yuuhi Kurenai! Y-You know my t-teammates, right?" Hinata asked, turning to look at her teammates.
"Yep! Kiba, me, Shika and Chouji used to cut class together. He could always tell when the teachers were coming close to us!" she said, looking at Kiba, before leaping from Hinata and glomping him instead. "It's been a while since we've cut class, hasn't it?"
"A year," Kiba dryly said.
"But I don't think I've ever talked to you much. Aburame Shino, right?" Naruto asked, turning to the tallest of the genins, pouting up at him.
"That would be correct, yes. Uzumaki Naruto, correct?" Shino asked.
Naruto nodded enthusiastically. "Yep! Anyway, what are you guys doing?" she asked.
"Training," Kurenai stated, looking somewhat perplexed. "Like you should be doing right now," she added.
"Oh, that, well... Kakashi-sensei's busy, so he can't train me now, and since the person who's supposed to teach me how to use a Naginata is busy today too, he gave me the day free!" she answered the unspoken query, turning to Hinata. "I missed Hinata-chan's boobs! They're so soft and squishy!"
Kiba coughed and pointedly looked aside.
Kurenai flushed. "Naruto, you shouldn't grope Hinata's breasts! That's not-"
"But... I like it..." Hinata muttered, poking her index fingers together.
Kurenai looked deadpan. "I don't care. It's still not proper conduct of a kunoichi, much less so one of your status, Hinata," she explained.
Kiba rolled his eyes. "So says the woman who smells of a different man every week," he stated.
"Kiba, I do believe I have told you, more than once, that you should keep such things to yourself," Kurenai said, with a sickly sweet smile, before she went through a short series of handsigns.
In response to this, Kiba snorted, before he blinked and grabbed at his crotch. "Wait, it's gone!?"
Hinata smiled and almost giggled.
Naruto exploded into loud laughter. "Well, at least it's not just Kakashi-sensei that is proms... piromis... how's that word go?"
"Promiscuous, Naruto-chan," Hinata informed.
"Yeah, that!" Naruto replied. "Kakashi-sensei's a total pervert!"
"... Naruto-chan, has your teacher done... anything untoward to you?" Kurenai suddenly asked.
"Uhm... like what?" Naruto asked, ignoring Kiba as he began running around, clutching at his crotch.
"Like... ordering you to get naked, and things like that..."
"Well, there was that time he made me, Satchan and Sakura-"
"Sakura, Satsuki and me," Hinata automatically corrected.
"Us," Naruto said, rolling her eyes, "swim naked using my Oiroke no Jutsu. It got really hard after a while!"
Kiba stoped for a second to snort at the choice of words. "That's what she said! Literally!"
"God I hate that joke," Kurenai said, before going through another series of handsigns.
"NOT THE BEES! NOT THE BEES! THEY'RE IN MY EYES, MY EYES!" Kiba shrieked, as he dropped down to the ground and began to scream random nonsense.
"I love that jutsu," Kurenai said, smiling widely.
Shino sighed. "I am surrounded by idiots," he muttered to himself.
After things had managed to settle down, and the mood calmed...
"Naruto, what's up with your clothes? You going for the pirate look?" asked Kiba, crossing his arms. He'd recovered remarkably quick from the genjutsu torture his teacher had inflicted upon him. Apparently, he had a habit of blurting out things better left unsaid, and Kurenai was in the process of correcting it through negative reinforcement. It was a slow process.
"Well, these belonged to a missing nin I helped Sensei beat. And since I didn't have anything else to wear at the time, I took this coat," she said. "And since I had it, I thought I might as well take the hat, too," she added, gesturing towards her hat. "I've been thinking of getting earrings like he had, but Sakura-chan said that they're a weakness, since anyone could grab them and rip them off my ears..."
"Unless you're like me, and intentionally making people look at your... assets... so that they don't look at your hands, then I'd suggest against it," Kurenai said, in a sagely tone of voice. "At least until you get to jounin and are powerful enough to make up for the self imposed handicap they'd be."
"Sensei's right. E-Even f-father said that," Hinata agreed.
"I agree with my teammates," Shino said.
Kiba shrugged. "I think they'd look good on you," he said.
"Of course they would!" Naruto said, grinning widely.
"Anyway, you said your team's busy..." Hinata began.
"Oh, yeah... Well, since Satchan and Sakura-chan got ambushed in that C rank mission we went on," and here she ignored Kiba's protest to his teacher, as Team 8 had not been allowed a C rank mission, "they've been all gung ho about training so that doesn't happen again. And since Sensei didn't know how to give Satchan the training she wanted, he asked one of his friends to help him. I don't know his name, but he wore all green and he was all muscly!" Naruto explained.
"Maito Gai," Kurenai said, almost shivering. "Probably a good choice for the Uchiha girl. If anyone can help her work out her anger issues, it's definitely him," she said.
"Oh, you talk from experience," Kiba taunted.
"Of course I do," Kurenai said, rolling her eyes. "Working with a student like Satsuki is a nightmare. You're always afraid that the slightest wrong move is gonna set her off in the wrong path," she continued, looking at the sky for a second.
"I didn't know you'd taught anyone before, Sensei..." Shino admitted.
"I had an apprentice when I was a chunin, and a brief stint in the academy," Kurenai replied.
"Anyway, then, Sakura-chan asked Kakashi-sensei what she could be good for, and then he said that she could use her chakra control and that big brain of hers to take up his own arts. He didn't say what they were, though," Naruto admitted. "So now he's training Sakura personally."
"He's probably training her in assassination techniques. That girl, I considered her when I was making up the team I'd present to the Hokage. She could have great talent in Genjutsu if she was a bit more imaginative, but she'd probably be better off as a medic. I guess that the same skills that would make her a good medic would make her a good assassin, if she learns to sneak around and how to be subtle..." Kurenai diagnosed, nodding to herself. "Out of the three of you, she's probably the best choice for an assassin. But still, he didn't arrange someone to train you for the day, Naruto?"
"Well, I'm supposed to meet up with Tenten-chan so she can give me the basics of how to wield a Naginata," Naruto said, "but she said something else came up and she couldn't make it today. Something about her two teammates and youth, but I can't remember the details," the blonde admitted, cracking her neck. "Anyway, I don't need her lessons anymore! I can wield my Naginata already! And I got kind of bored of practicing alone, so..."
"Well, I do have some minimal training in polearm usage," Kurenai stated, "back when I was looking for something to make up for the fact that my sole talent has always been genjutsu," she admitted, "I tried different things."
Kiba frowned. "But your taijutsu rocks, sensei..." he said.
"Only compared to yours, Kiba. Of course you can't beat me in a straight up fight yet, I have years of training on you, I'm stronger, faster and better than you, but by the time you're sixteen, you should be able to easily beat me in a taijutsu battle. It's not my forte. Of course, from there to actually beating me in a fight," she said, smiling at her students, the message clear.
Kiba nodded, surprisingly serious for a moment.
"Anyway, you three know the drill. I've hidden an item in the forest, and you'll have to find it. Meanwhile, I'll see if I can help Naruto, at least a little. You brought your Naginata with you?" she asked, turning to Naruto.
"Yeah!" Naruto answered, digging into one of her coat's pockets to fish out a sealing scroll.
"Then let's get to it!" Kurenai said.
As the three members of team 8 stood up, Naruto gave Hinata one last hug before merrily skipping over to where Kurenai had walked, to the middle of the clearing.
As Team 8 entered the woods, following Kiba's nose and prepared to deal with the traps Kurenai had no doubt emplaced all over them, Hinata turned around and shot Naruto one last look.
"Naruto-chan... be safe..." Hinata muttered to herself, before sprinting a little to catch up with her teammates.