AN: Curve Ball is almost complete, so while I map out the college adventures of CB's Bella's, let's meet a Bella of another type of crazy.
This story is dedicated to the amazing Nicole Marie Masen who gave me the idea to write this silly story.
Like CB, almost daily chapters and someday will be several updates. This is also unbeta'd, so don't expect miracles. Enjoy!
The Attraction Equation
I'm horrible at math.
It really doesn't matter what type of arithmetic. My skills with algebra were abysmal; so much in fact, my eleventh grade teacher mocked me unmercifully. For an aging hippie with Grateful Dead dancing bears on his briefcase, that man was a big meanie.
It didn't matter, because here in your arms as you recite equations, I'm in heaven.
"Edward!" I kiss your neck. "What's the square root of pie?"
"It's 1.77245..." he murmured in my ear.
I gripped his wild, red hair and hitched my leg around his pleated, tan khaki clad waist. "Take me, Edward!"
"Miss Swan? Are you alright?" His voice was like honey or chocolate sauce. Or his voice was a combination of the two. That would be yummy. I should mix some of that up at home.
'Miss Swan?" He asked again.
Huh? The coffee cup I was clutching shook and sloshed onto his beige carpet.
"Oh sorry! Do you have any napkins?" I looked into his annoyed green eyes. His eyes were so pretty. Then it occurred to me. "Wait! I have tissues!"
I pulled a wad of tissues out of my purse and started dabbing at the brown spots on his carpet. Crap! Some of them were used. Maybe he wouldn't notice?
"Are those used?" He looked appalled. He pushed his glasses up his nose.
"Slightly crumpled," I fibbed.
His long fingers clutched his desk. Most people would think that those fingers would play some fantastic piano. Not me. I'm not most people. He uses those sexy digits to push calculator buttons like a maestro. It was hot.
I wonder how those fingers would push my buttons. I could just imagine them pushing in and...
"What?" I yelped and fell face forward into the edge of his desk. "Oww!"
"Are you okay?" He came over to help me get up. There it was right in front of my face. Let's just say those ironed pleats were sticking out quite prominently. Oh my. "Just leave it! I'll let the janitors know to power wash the carpets."
He pulled me up swiftly. His body was close to mine and his hands were on me. I wonder what he would look like if he smiled. It was unnatural not to smile at least once at a person.
"Hmm..." Please kiss me.
"We need to discuss..."
"You're filing system using shoe boxes."
Oh. Well damn.
I pulled away and sat back down, slouching. Fantasies don't always come true.
"How do you run a business this way?" Mr. Cullen grabbed my Nike box full of receipts. I bought those shoes the week I decided to try running. I wonder where those damn things were hiding. I bought them in 2003.
"Creatively?" Was this a test? I was horrible at tests.
"Obviously," He said frowning. He looked like he was ready to reprimand me. I wonder if he likes giving spankings. I stifled a giggle, as he continued, "Miss Swan, do you like maple syrup."
He was asking me to breakfast!
"I do." I gave him my brightest smile.
He held up several of my receipts that were now stuck to his fingers. He drily stated, "I can tell."
"Do you like it?" I asked. "Maple Syrup?"
We just needed to find common ground.
"No, Miss Swan." He desperately tried to remove the receipts. "Too sticky."
Maybe, he would like to see my helpful side? I tried to help him get the receipts off his fingers. His handsome face was giving me a dirty look and he was trying to move away from me.
What happened next really was his fault. He tried to escape my assistance, which caused my hand to hit his coffee cup and it spilled onto his lap. He jumped up out of his seat with my receipts stuck to his hands and a giant coffee stain that made it look like he peed himself.
He looked like he wanted to scream.
It was adorable.
"Would you like me to go to the bathroom and get you some wet paper towels?"
"I want you to leave." He pointed to his door.
It made me a sad Bella.
"Can you recommend another CPA?" I asked, with a frown. Maybe one that's one hundred and looks like a troll. Obviously, pretty men make me do stupid things.
He gave a big sigh and pushed his glasses back up. "I will stay your accountant, Miss Swan. I'll call you soon to set up the next appointment."
I grinned and gave myself a mental fist pump. There was still hope!