Chapter 6 (EPOV)
The woman has driven me insane.
She was a client with no filter. Those huge eyes made my brain stop working, but they made my penis working on overdrive. This was upsetting.
It was also why I was now wearing the apron my mother gave me for Christmas. Truthfully, would have been wearing it anyway. I hated to get food on my clothing. It now had a higher purpose. To hide my raging erection.
It was Miss Swan's doing. Everything that led me to this moment was destined as soon as I was thrust into her messy life. My brain and penis have been at war since she choked on that hot dog. That's why I touched her and flirted with her so inappropriately.
Oh god... I was sexually harassing her!
Wait... Miss Swan thought I was gay. That's good, right?
Actually, I have a whole stash of porn and Victoria's Secret catalogs hidden in my bottom dresser drawer that could show her how wrong she is about me. It wasn't that I was in a habit of buying women's underwear, but buy one panty for an ex-girlfriend and you will be getting the catalogue for the rest of your life. Not that I was complaining, it was Victoria's Secret after all.
Miss Swan would look lovely in Victoria Secret. She looked lovely using my shirt and tie as a dress. Now that she was wearing that shirt, I just wanted her out of it. Preferably naked. Naked on my bed with her come hither eyes.
"I really like pickles on my sandwiches," she stated, grabbing the package of ham from my hands. "It gives it a kick!"
I hated pickles on my sandwiches. Though the thought of Miss Swan eating a dill pickle was intriguing, but not the way she was piling the meat and cheese onto the bread.
"You're doing it all wrong!" I exclaimed. One bite and she would have mayo, ham and cheese spilling down the front of her! It would get on my perfectly clean floors! She'll have to get naked! I'll have to kiss her and show her just what type of man she's dealing with!
My brain was hay wiring. My dick happily standing to attention and ready for action.
I grabbed her hand. I liked her hands. I had no control when she was around. I brought her hand up to kiss it.
Client. She's a client!
I dropped it and her hand hit the counter.
"Ouch!" She exclaimed and gripped her hand. "Dude, you didn't have to get so upset about a sandwich!"
"It wasn't the sandwich! Not really. Except you use far too much mayonnaise on the bread. It will just plop out on your chest, Miss Swan!" I was now staring at her chest.
"You know what your problem is, Edward Cullen? I'll tell give you a clue! You don't know to have fun!" She poked me in the stomach. "Also, the name is Bella. Use it."
"I have fun!" I did. Sometimes I would play pool with my co-workers. I liked watching racing. "You don't know me, Miss Swan!"
I grabbed her sandwich and started wrapping it in plastic wrap.
"I know exactly your type, Edward." She hoisted herself onto my counter and started eating a piece of lettuce. "You live in a bubble. Your bubble needs to be popped, Mister."
I grabbed a paper bag from my pantry and put her sandwich in it. "Water? An apple?"
I threw those in. "I'll call you a cab."
"You're tossing me out on my keister?" She looked at me with narrow eyes.
"I am. I should also suggest you find a new CPA." I was too drawn in, but annoyed by this girl. It would not end well.
Without thinking, I grabbed her by the waist and brought her back down to the floor.
She held my hands to her hips. A strange look came across her face. "I'm mostly certain you're straight."
She kissed me quickly on the lips. This woman was going to kill me.
"First lesson of having fun is not looking like your going to faint when a girl kisses you." She patted my cheek. "I'll see you tomorrow, Edward. I need you to show me the organized way to stuff my files and, if you're nice, I might let you stuff something else."
I was in shock. "Miss Swan..."
She removed her hands and grabbed the paper bag. "Tomorrow morning at ten, Edward. No need for a cab. It's a lickety split walk and I have a spring in my step."
She added a peck to my cheek. "Thanks for lunch!"
I grabbed my sandwich, as I watched her walk out. I was in shock.
She kissed me and I loved it.
Miss Swan wasn't even my type. She was all big eyes and dark hair who dressed like a vintage store advertisement. I dated woman who wore classic suits and liked to discuss the stock market. This felt so unreal. I liked that crazy woman!
I took a bite of my sandwich. Mustard fell onto my shirt collar. Not the apron, the collar. Fuck my life, this was also Miss Swan's fault. She distracted me.
I stomped into my bedroom and threw open the closet. It was all a mixed up mess.
Isabella Swan was a pretty devil. I was certain of it now.