Sheldon Cooper sat at his spot on the couch, holding the latest Green Lantern comic in front of him. He thought for a second and sat the comic book on the coffee table and stared at it. It was crooked so he fixed it. It was still crooked. He shouted for Leonard.
"What?" Leonard walked in, his Converse All-Stars in hand.
"Does that look crooked? It does to me," Sheldon answered.
"Well, that's because you're crazy."
"I'm not crazy, my mother had me tested." Sheldon shook his head. "Really, Leonard, how many times must I tell you?"
Sheldon shook his head.
"Just tell me if it's crooked or not," he said.
Leonard looked at it.
"No, Sheldon, it isn't."
"Are you sure?" Sheldon asked.
"Yes, I'm sure."
"It just doesn't look right."
"Sheldon, it's fine." Leonard sighed and set the book on the floor.
Sheldon gasped. "Well now it's all dirty!"
Leonard shook his head and walked from the apartment, closing the door behind him.
Sheldon picked up his comic and brushed its cover gingerly, preparing to put it in alphabetical order with the rest of his collection.
He opened his door and walked into his room. The minute he laid eyes on his bed, all his nightmares came true.
THERE WAS A BEETLE ON HIS BED.
The horror was in an instant. He stared at it, his famous eye twitch coming on strong. Sheldon felt his pulse quicken he hated beetles. Well, bugs of any kind for that matter.
He dropped his comic and screamed like a womanly man. The beetle walked around his bed, leaving its germs on his bed spread. He didn't know what to do. Scream again? No, that wasn't going to work.
Then, the thought hit him. Penny.
Sheldon rushed from the apartment, knocking frantically on Penny's door.
"Penny! Penny! Penny!" he said.
"Sheldon, I am always in the living room. You don't-" she started.
"There's a bug on my bed!" he cried.
"And? What do you want me to do?" the blonde asked.
"Use your backwoods, Nebraska skills and squish it!" Sheldon said.
Penny looked at her. "You're a grown man, Sheldon! Can't you do it?"
"NO! Are you crazy?" he asked, shocked.
"Why not?" Penny replied, annoyance in her voice.
"Because! I promised to my mother that when I moved to California, I wouldn't kill anything. I assume bugs and insects were part of that agreement. Besides, it's a beetle!" To prove his point, he shuddered.
Penny sighed. "What about Raj and Howard?"
"Oh, they're no help!" Sheldon waved his hand over his shoulder.
Penny sighed and shoved Sheldon out of the way. She walked across the hall and into Sheldon's bedroom.
Sheldon followed her, saying, "Just throw it out the window or something."
By the time he had gotten to his room, however, Penny was already closing the window.
"Got it." She smiled.
"What did you pick it up with?" Sheldon asked. He was hoping she didn't say her bare hands.
"This comic book that was on the floor." She held out his Green Lantern comic and walked out of the room.
Sheldon stared from Penny to his comic and back. Then he threw the book in the trash. It wasn't worth it anymore.