Chapter 7

The two black Sand Vipers they found in a makeshift shed that was on the mining compound, left a streaming dust tail that was miles long as the couple sped into the hot desolate desert. They were following the tire tracks that were slowly dissolving in the Egyptian wind.

Dune after dune it seemed that they were driving for hours, until the limo tracks completely disappeared. They slowed down and stopped. Titti got out first and examined the area. Austin looked on too. Nothing. Nothing but sand and desert.

Titti never want to give up and neither did Austin. She then remembered something. As a child, her grandfather had told her tales of a lost king who never became king.

"Titti we don't have time for bed time stories baby," Austin said to her.

"You don't understand Austin," Titti explained, "The people of Cairo did not like this king. He was so horrid that the people of Egypt killed him and dragged him to the desert. But before he died, the king told the Forman to build a pyramid. Unfortunately the Forman didn't like him either as he stiffed him for the bill. So the Forman decided, 'Ok I'll build your pyramid.' He did, but no one but he knew where it was. When the king died, he told a few of his friends were the pyramid was. So they dragged him to somewhere out here and placed him in his pyramid. The Arab helpers sore to an oath never to reveal the location of the king's tomb." She gazed about for a moment, "That oath may have been broken sometime in the past."

"What does this have to do with my brother, baby?" Austin inquired.

"Your brother may have found the infamous underground pyramid," she answered him, "Problem is; we don't where to look." She then stopped and a wondrous smell was in the air. She sniffed the air to see what the smell was. For a moment it smelled likeā€¦ "You smell something?"

Austin smelled it to.

"Odd, I didn't know McDonald's had a restaurant chain out here," he said.

"They don't."

She looked to the west, then north, and finally to the east were there were a huge sandy mound not more than twenty meters away. She then saw smoke slowly protruding from behind it. She cocked an eye brow and looked to Austin for an answer. Austin looked back with the same look.

They decided to investigate. The fried food smell became stronger as they climbed over the dune. The white fluffy smoke emitted from a long cylinder smoke stack that was dug in the ground. Austin looked around, and suddenly he became blind. Not by the sun, but worse.

"Oh my god, my eyes, my eyes!" Austin cried softly as he pulled Tiiti on the ground.

"What is it?" Titti inquired as he looked.

"No don't look!" he warned her, but it was too late.

Titti looked, and below was the most disgusting fowl thing she ever saw. It looked like a beached walrus drenched in sweat. It was, Fat Bastard naked. He was lying on a huge towel bathing in the Egypt sun.

She quickly adverted her eyes.

"Oh, my god!" she said.

Austin then said, "I know I know. Well, let's look on the bright side. If Fat Bastard is here, my brother can't be far behind. We, we gotta wait to see if he goes inside, then we'll follow him."

"If he goes inside," said Titti.

"Of all the assignments I had," Austin, "This got to be the toughest ever."

"Because Dr. Evil is your brother and you can come to stop him?" Titti asked.

"No, watching Fat Bastard sun bathing," he replied sickly.

It's been an hour since their arrival and Fat Bastard didn't move a muscle. Then suddenly he got up. Titti tapped Austin who was only resting his eyes. They got ready to follow him only to see that he was trying to turn over on his stomach. It was like watching raw dough roll on the table. They sighed in disappointment as they continue to wait.

Two hours later, as Austin snored; Titti saw the large Scotsman move again. This time he was sitting up. It took Fat Bastard a full ten minutes to get on his feet. Titti nudged Austin.

"No mummy, you can't make me help wash grammy," Austin mumbled.

Titti tried again and said, "Austin!"

He instantly woke up, "Yes yes, I'm here, and we're back."

Titti pointed as Fat Bastard put on his Egyptian golden robe that was in a beach bag. Austin looked as he adjusted his binocular spectacles. He saw Fat Bastard take out a hand held device that looked like a TV remote control. He pointed it to the ground and pressed a button. Then suddenly the sand started to sink into the ground as an opening appeared. It was a huge electronic door that slid open. It was so big in fact a truck could fit through it.

Below the sand was a large ramp that descended deep beneath the desert. The enormous Scottish man waddled down. This was their chance.

"Come on Austin," Titti said as they quietly made their way down the sandy dune.

They then raced over to the descending ramp. The duo walked down cautiously as the opening began to close. They crept behind Fat Bastard.

"All right Tubby!" Austin said as Fat Bastard turned to them. Austin and Titti had their guns raised at hit. "Where's my brother?"

"Well, ain't it mister super thin spy. Ya, got ya memory back didja?" Said Fat Bastard, he then looked to Titti and cooed, "Well, hello lassie. Why don't' ya take a break of spyin' and ride the tidal wave with me, eh?"

"What a tic," said Austin, "I thought you lost all that weight, how did you get it so fast?"

Fat Bastard told them, "Well, there is an interstin' story behind that. Ya see, I tried to pick up women, but it seemed that they weren't interested in my vagina. I got depressed again, and well you know the rest."

Titti and Austin nodded knowing how it was.

"Well, you are going to take us to Dr. Evil," Titti ordered him.

"I think not lassie," Fat Bastard said as a sly smiled grew on his face.

Suddenly they were grabbed behind by two large hands. They turned to see a tall man with steel trap-like jaws grinning at them. They then passed out.

"Ach, I didn't know you knew the Vulcan neck pinch," said Fat Bastard as Piranha nodded.