I wanted to write a realistic story of how Scully fell in love with Mulder. I've seen so many point of views, and they are all fantastic, but I wanted to give it a shot too!
It was in no way, at all, love at first sight, and I will tell you why. While he may have been stunning, he was an utter asshole. He was a real pain in the ass. The other agents had warned me of him, and when I met him, they had been completely accurate. I wanted to punch him in the face on more than one occasion. However, that is not something the ever so professional Dana Scully would do. So, I tucked away those dark feelings towards him, and I did my best to accept his annoying flaws. I accepted the fact that he was going to be a challenge. After all, I wasn't perfect either.
The first few years of our partnership wasn't love either. It was friendship. It was an unbreakable bond between two people who cared deeply for one another. I am completely sure it looked like love, but it was only the love of two friends. We spent most of our time together, of course, there was going to be a titanium bond. Saving one another from death will form a pretty tight bond.
Eventually, I grew to cherish mine and Mulder's friendship. I realized our relationship was a little unorthodox, but it was special, nonetheless. It was almost an X-file. It wasn't tangible, but you definitely feel it.
We had inside jokes. We knew what the other was thinking, without saying one word. We shared take out at our apartments at least four times a month. Nothing had ever become of it. We never shared a bed. We never fought about who would take the bed. We always agreed that if one of us crashed at the others apartment, you were staying on the couch. That was your punishment for not heading home at the appropriate time.
Even though we had a platonic friendship, I noticed Mulder and mine's dating life completely dissipated. At first I thought it was because people thought we were lovers. Then, I thought it was because I was the Ice Queen and Mulder was Spooky. However, I came to realize that it was our own fault.
You see, neither one of us wanted to start a relationship. If we wanted to start a relationship, we would have to alter our friendship. We couldn't have the late night take outs. We couldn't gaze at each other for longer than deemed necessary. We would have to spend less time with one another. Our relationship was stronger than anything a new boyfriend or girlfriend could provide, other than sex. No body would approve of our partnership. And truthfully, I wouldn't blame them.
So, our social life was non-existent. I have to say, that it didn't really bother me. As long as we had each other's company, nothing really mattered.
And, I didn't fall in love with Mulder during my cancer or even after. Yes, Mulder was a great support through it all, but it wouldn't feel right if we had fallen in love while I was dying. If we had made our relationship official, and I died, Mulder would have been crushed. So, I made sure that our relationship stayed platonic. Though, we had become closer, and we had shared a few loving touches.
I think the touches and closeness was for comfort. Obviously, hugging me wasn't enough to show that he was going to be there with me no matter what, so he threw in a couple forehead kisses. I didn't mind. They did help make me feel more connected to him, and I felt loved. He made me feel like there was hope.
After my cancer, I did enjoy life and I wanted to live it to its fullest. I didn't immediately jump Mulder's bones, as so many people may have thought. We were closer though. I felt it. We spent more time together and Mulder paid closer attention to me. I found him at my doorstep more nights than before. I can't be certain, but I think he has loved me for a while longer than I loved him. And I mean, in love with me. I don't mean the silly friendship thing.
And so, this is the part where I fell in love with Mulder. I realized I loved Mulder at work. I know it sounds silly of all places, but that is when it happened. It wasn't while he was chewing on his pencil. That always grossed me out. It wasn't when he rolled his sleeves up. He looked gorgeous both ways. It wasn't when he handed me a file and brushed my hand against his. No. I always felt something between us when we touched.
It didn't happen when he brought me coffee by surprise either. That was sweet, but something he did on occasion if he stopped and got himself a latte. It was the polite thing to do.
It was when I heard Agent Jade Snodgrass, from the second floor, talking to Agent Adriana Dice about Mulder. They had walked into the bathroom, while I was in one of the stalls.
"So, you think I have a chance with Spooky," I heard Snodgrass ask Dice. Dice gave a little giggle. "Are you serious? You'll have to get past Mrs. Spooky." I was appalled. But, at least they weren't calling me the Ice Queen any longer. "I don't know, Dice, I heard they were just friends. Apparently they always have been." It was silent for a minute and I started to panic. "Well, either way, you aren't getting anywhere near him. They love each other. I honestly think its all professional right now, but their time will come. Don't ruin it either!" It seemed almost as if Agent Dice was on my side. Wait, did I even have a side? Of course I did.
"Fine, but if you are wrong, I will be so pissed." I heard Agent Dice laugh at Snodgrass. "Trust me, girl, I am not wrong this time. Just look at the way he touches her. It's like he has imprinted on her. Face it, they are together forever." I hear a sigh. Obviously Agent Snodgrass has given up on this one. Thank God too, because I was about ready to bust out and strangle the girl.
That is the moment I knew I loved Mulder. I realized that I had been so blinded by my need to be professional and independent, that I didn't even see how much he loved me. I had been so closed off and labeled him as just a friend. I realized than I was more selfish than Mulder.
I washed my hands and headed back to the office. I sat back down. Mulder glanced at me, and then back down at his paperwork. I didn't rush over and demand his attention. I didn't start to take off my clothes. I did my paperwork like a good little agent.
When it was time to go, I made my move. I had to tell Mulder how I felt. He was my best friend and I couldn't keep it in. If I didn't tell him, I would be lying to him. Well, I wouldn't technically be lying to him, but omission is betrayal. Anyway, as I was collecting my stuff, Mulder helped me into my coat. He usually did this. It wasn't unusual. He was raised to respect a woman. I did not kiss him when he came close to my face. No, I am not a silly teenager.
What I did was something more risky. Before saying good-bye to him, I told him the truth.
"Mulder, I heard some girl talk in the bathroom." his ears perked up at this. "Oh, yeah, Scully? Anything that I would be interested in hearing?"
"Well, it's always the same. Some girl wants you, but feels she has to fight me off." Mulder looks at me and laughs. "And, why is today so different from the other times?" He crosses his arms. "I don't know. Mulder, would you ever consider dating one of them?" I didn't falter when I asked. I stood strong and proud, because that is who I am. I would be able to move on with my life if he had said yes. I wouldn't die because he didn't feel the same.
"Well, would they have to fight you off?" He just turned it around on me. Well played, Mulder. "Afraid so, Sherlock..." He smiles and nods his head. "Scully, I would hate to see a naïve agent try to get passed your right hook." He gives me a 100 Watt smile. I match his smile.
I turn to leave, but I hear Mulder call my name. "Scully, just so we are clear... the guys have been fighting me off for a while now."
I nod my head, understand what he is trying to tell me. "I will see you tomorrow morning, Mulder."
"Good-night, Scully." He gives me a wink. Yeah, something just happened.
Alright, so we didn't completely tell each other we were in love, but it was pretty damn close. That was a huge step for Mulder and me. Eventually, we would get passed our stubbornness, but for now, at least we knew where the other stood.
Please let me know what you think.