Title: "As the Catnip Turns"
Author: Kat Lee
Rating: R/M
Summary: He never before realized the soap opera around him.
Disclaimer: All recognizable characters, names, codenames, places, items, fandoms, titles, and etc. are always © & TM their respective owners, not the author, and are used without permission. Any and all original characters and everything else is © & TM the author and may not be reproduced in any way without the author's express, written permission. The author makes absolutely no profit off of this work of fan fiction, and no copyright infringement is intended.

Trying, in vain, to ignore the sounds of yet another battle happening in the hallway, Bruce pulled the blankets further up over his head and that of his lover. "Don't they ever stop?" he whined.

"They're not usually this bad," Selina replied, shrugging her bare shoulder. Her nose crinkled, and he felt the need she never ceased to arouse in him beginning to rise again. "But it's a full moon."

"They go through this every full moon?"

"This is actually mild in comparison to what we usually do."

"What you usually do?" He wasn't sure he wanted to know.


He hushed, pulled her closer into his side, and tried again to fall asleep. It had been such a hard few nights. He needed this time, though she'd still had to convince him to end patrol early. He yawned; she yawned. The cats on the bed yawned. His eyes drifted shut.

Hisses, spits, and yowls worse than a dozen police sirens erupted five feet away from the bed. He sat up, his whole body rigid and fully at alert. She reached up, wrapped an arm around his naked chest, and yanked him forcibly back down into her bed. "They're not going to stop any time tonight, Bruce. The sun's almost up. They're go to sleep when the moon goes down."

"I always thought you had better control over your cats."

Her emerald eyes glowered fiercely at him; he decided that was perhaps not the best comment for him to have made. "EMERALD," Selina snapped, "LEAVE ONYX ALONE! HE CAN'T HELP IT THAT HE WANTS DIAMOND AND NOT YOU! MIDNIGHT WANTS YOU; GO WITH HIM!"

He eyed her. "That's what this is all about?"

"That last spat, yeah, but not the one before it or any of the others."

"This is a soap opera?" He quirked an eyebrow.

She took it as a desire to understand and explained further, "The one before was between Sapphire and Shadow. Sapphire helped Shadow, but then she wanted to stroke him."

"He helped her do what?"

Selina grinned.

"Oh." Bruce actually blushed, which made Selina's grin widen. Her naked body curled more closely, and provocatively, against his. "But why'd he help Shadow if he didn't want her touching him?"

"It's the way Sapphire is. He doesn't mind helping, but he'd rather have Pumpkin's attention."

Amazed, Bruce slowly shook his head. "It is a soap opera. As the Catnip Turns," he mused.

"Did you just joke?"

"Yes." He gradually grinned. "I guess I did."

She nodded. "You sure did." Sunlight began to filter into her bedroom; she pulled him closer. "Now," she purred, "go to sleep."

Their eyes shut. The cats fell asleep first, then Bruce, and finally Selina.

Sunlight suddenly poured into the room. "Good morning, Master Wayne, Mistress Kyle."

"ALFRED!" They bolted upright in her bed, glowering fiercely at him.

"We're sleeping in," Bruce commanded, taking Selina down with him and hiding from the world underneath her blankets but not without one final groan. They had to get his home fixed soon!

The End