Andrea On My Mind

A MirAndy Poem

By Gun Brooke

That silly girl

Of course I should not have such expectations

How could this young woman know

What finding her gone would mean

How could she possible guess

What going through each day without her

Would do to the Dragon's heart

Or the direct effect it would have on others

She has no way of knowing how many hours

Every time I go to bed, curled up under the covers

My frozen body aches for her

The lover I never had

I blame myself—who else is there?

She did what she had to do

And I was left behind with the ghosts of my emotions

And the tears of my lost opportunities

My foolish heart

Clings to one hope, one image

Of how she regarded me with such compassion

While I sat there, red-eyed, pale, and looking old

This is when I hears her ask in my mind

"Is there anything else I can do for you?"

In that gentle, soft voice that made me tremble

And I remember praying she'd put her hands on my body

I wanted to tell her yes

I wish I'd asked her to hold me

And never let me go, never leave

Instead I said: "Your job."

Was that why she left the next day?

Did I put an end to what had not yet begun?

And did I once and for all confirm

The justification for all the monikers given to me?`

I reach for my phone

Knowing I have nothing else left

Not even my pride, as I dial

I struggle with the inner demons telling me I'm a fool

I hate the fact I nearly weep

When I hear her voice speak with a tremor

"Miranda? Is everything all right?"

"Andrea," I whisper, my voice catching

I hear her inhale so deeply

And then she says; "Is there anything I can do, Miranda?"

And I say;

"Yes."