"This is ridiculous."
Raven raised an eyebrow, but she didn't even bother looking up from her book. "Just another day in Titan Tower."
"He's on a date with her as me. Let me reiterate that for you: as me. Do you know what this will do to my reputation? He's going to destroy me, not just to her, but to every girl in JC." Speedy huffed out a breath of irritated air and struggled against his restraints, cursing. "I can only imagine what he's trying to do to my image. You know he's going to destroy every possible prospect of a date in this whole town."
"That's not my problem, I'm just staying out of the way. Besides, you moved in on his territory, what do you expect?" She turned a page and glanced over at him. "You know he's had his eye on Starfire for... ever, and you asked first. Of course he was going to get upset." She paused and returned to her book, ignoring the sound of chaos coming from Cyborg and Beast Boy in the kitchen. It almost sounded like they were trying to turn the blender into a weapon of mass food destruction. She certainly wouldn't put it past them. "As much as we like to see Robin as a mature and functional adult, the truth of the matter is, he's not. He's a child, who sometimes wears the skin of our leader."
"Harsh, Rae. Seriously harsh."
"My name is Raven, Speedy." She gave a one shouldered shrug. "It's the truth, just look at him. He's throwing a temper tantrum because he didn't get something he wanted. You bought the toy before he could, and so he's determined to ruin the toy for you."
Speedy's mouth hung open in shock and he stopped tugging at the restraints that held him tight to the chair. "I can't believe you just compared Star to a toy."
"I can't believe you asked Starfire out, knowing that insanity would inevitably ensue." She turned another page, face still blank.
"I didn't think that this would happen." He let his head hand over the back of the chair and continued to pull at the ropes around his wrist and torso. "I mean, tying me up? I'm not a criminal. I just asked a girl out on a date."
"You asked the wrong girl on a date, and you know it." She turned another page, lips tugging down into a frown. "Admit it, Speedy, you like to ruffle his feathers."
He snorted and rolled his eyes. "Nice analogy, Rae."
She huffed out a breath of irritated air, but didn't bother correcting him about her name. "I'm serious. You don't actually have feelings for Star, do you?"
He shrugged with what little movement was available to him. "Maybe."
"You're lying." She gave him a side-long glance and closed her book, setting it in her lap.
Speedy sighed and rolled his eyes. "Okay, maybe you're right. Maybe I do just like to ruffle bird-boy's feathers... but can you blame me? He's so easy to tease. You just mention Starfire to him and he glows red like a fire. It's like his thirteen all over again with his first crush. I can't help it that he's a mess and it's hilarious to watch him crash and burn." He snorted as if remembering something funny. "I mean... jeez, Rae, you should have seen the look on his face when he saw that Star and I were going to dinner together. I thought his jaw was going to fall off from shock."
"That's not an excuse to torment him." Raven tapped her fingers on the cover of her book and continued to stare at him, face blank. "You're going to give him an anxiety attack, and you're probably going to make me insane with it. Just lay off him."
"You know I can't do that."
"Don't you have anything better to do then come over to the tower to annoy him?"
"No. Not really." He shrugged again, the corners of his lips turning up into a small smile. "Besides, I don't come here just for bird brain. I like you guys, you're fun. Fishboy and Bee always have a stick up their asses."
Raven rolled her eyes. "You mean they're fun."
He grinned at her. "Sure."
Sighing she waved her hand and one of the knots loosened. She would do anything at this point to get him to shut up and leave her alone. She was finally getting to the good part in her book, and his constant blathering was driving her nuts. "Is there anything you don't flirt with?"
He seemed to ponder that for a moment. "Nope." Yanking his limbs free he jumped out of the rope. "Thanks, Rae!"
"Exit is the other way, genius."
Stopping mid-step he turned around and started for the other door. "Gottcha! Thanks a bunch!"
"And you might want clothes... idiot."
He stopped again and looked down at his underwear-clad self, frowning. "Yeah. That might be a good idea..." His eyes scanned the room and he saw Robin's discarded clothes lying in a pile. It was almost as if a lightbulb went off over his head. He grinned at her.
She rolled her eyes and picked up her book again. "Whatever. Just keep me out of your schemes, Speedy. I don't want anything to do with this."
He laughed maniacally and threw on Robin's clothes, moving towards the door. His eyes glinted as the world's most amazing practical joke was running through his head, and he was going to be the one to start it over. Reaching Raven, he paused as if pondering something, and then leaned down and kissed her on the cheek. "You're a life-saver."
Raven glared up at him and wiped at her cheek. "Just shut up and leave me alone."
Raven watched him leave, frowning. Unfortunately, she had to admit that he looked pretty good in boxers.
Um, I know I should be doing other work. Real work. Homework. Other stories.
This came out instead. Sorry.
Also, this was based on the most recent Titan's GO! (The Date) episode. I'm still trying to see if I like it or not. Meh. It's a thing.