Hey guys! This piece is for the Death Fic Challenge. It is short but I hope you really like! So here you go guys!
Warnings are extreme suicide! I mean it goes into detail! So just to warn ya!
I do not own Criminal Minds or anything evolved in Criminal Minds.
Breathing in these chemicals, I slowly come to realizing, how lost and lonely I am. How sad and pathetic my life must seem. Why I track through this storm, when I can so easily surrender. The blood that stains my weary body, the cuts that cover my dead skin, are now all that remains in memories. No one sees past the facade of happy smiles and polite sayings, no one sees the hollowness of this shell. Morgan comes around trying to connect but honestly, if I could, I'd bury myself ten feet under, away from this ungodly world and into the comfort of the forgiving earth.
But of course reality is cruel, so now I settle to the cut of the blade, letting it drive into the flesh and muscle of my arm. The blood slowly seeped from the wound and gracefully dripped onto the white tiled floor, travelling through the tiny cracks and the lines of the patterned tiles. Reid watched at the trail of blood flowed smoothly, finally reaching the single drain and disappearing into the darkness of the tunnel. Reid could feel the dizziness starting to stir within his head but for once he actually felt a calming relief that flowed with it. A padded knock echoed within the bathroom, it seemed insignificant in his world of freedom. He lifted his eyes to the white door, it was becoming hazy to see and Reid soon zoned out from the door. The pain had numbed but for some reason he missed that pleasurable pain, it was a pain that he controlled, not one inflected upon him. His eyes began to see the dancing black dots. They danced in pairs like on a ballroom floor, dancing around, swirling before him. Reid started to giggle uncontrollably, it was funny for a reason beyond him. Maybe it was because finally in his life, he was in control, he wasn't a mere pawn in some grand game and being endlessly being pushed around by some else, he was in control.
"Reid!" The mumbled voice sounded concern. Should it be? Was it something to be concern about? Why would they be concerned? He was for once in his life truly at peace. He wasn't afraid, he wasn't scared about the next step in his miserable life and that brought him great joy. The banging was becoming annoyingly louder, which caused him to dig deep with the blade. Blood was now pumping onto the floor and through his white fingers, it was nice and warm, just the way it should be.
Reid's eyes were finally becoming more than he could bear to keep open, he finally gave into the whispers of the darkness, succumbing to its will and restfully being placed into the place of peace and calmness. He waved his arms, letting the seemingly thick air glide through his fingers. This place was his final place, a place of final rest. He knew no one would see so and everyone's view of him will changed into thinking he was weak but here he could put all of that doubt and fear away, he finally felt free. He was free.
But for some reason, his thoughts stilled laid upon the people he left behind. Morgan, Hotch, Garcia, Emily, JJ, Rossi and Henry. All of them. Left behind. He felt selfish for that but they didn't know, they didn't feel what he felt. They hadn't been what he had been through. He knew they would understand in time but at first they wouldn't, they wouldn't understand fully but soon. When the time was right, they would see why he did what he did. It was all for them. All of it. Everything.
Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed it! R&R