As always read at your own risk not beta'd. Oh, the idea came from a super mega ultra bad A** fic i read by Hekate1308,

her Story: Into the Living Sea of Waking Dreams was soooo inspirational, and I thought wow what if... So here it goes...let the angsty angst begin. :) AU no slashes ;)


Chapter 1. Searching

"Sherlock. This is too dangerous." The scientist's assistant crossed her arms over her chest, the white of her lab coat perfect clean and crisp.

"I have to try." The dark haired scientist snapped irritably.

"No, no you don't. Just let this go. He's gone."

"He might have died here in this world but there are plenty of others that have no use for him. What if he's just sitting somewhere contemplating suicide or worse what if he's injured? "

"How would you be able to tell in these worlds? How could you sort it out? What happens if you go and take someone who's well established in a timeline. They have purpose and family. What if he is already with you, are you willing to kidnap a man from his world and life, just to satisfy your own-"

"Shut up Clara, you know nothing. It's my fault he's dead. Of course I'll research and gather data before I press forward. I would never take someone unwillingly. Besides the stipulations I programmed into the machine will only take me to timelines where John will cease to live. That is fair enough, after all he wont have a future so what would it hurt?"

"Sherlock, listen this is insane."

"You sound like my fat git of a brother. "

"Well perhaps he has a good point." Doctor Farady was looking uneasily at the machine.

"Oh, shut up! It's his fault John is dead. If he wouldn't have sent him out on that damn mission. "

"John was an agent Sherlock that's what he did. How was Mycroft to know the intel was compromised. How would he know that there was someone leaking information? Anyway he saved your life, and to him the price of his own was worth it."

"It's his Job to know! And what was my life? I was fine. They would have eventually shot me. I can live with that." Sherlock hissed.

"John, volunteered for the mission. He couldn't be told no. You'd known him long enough. He's an unstoppable force. And what will his return have on everyone else? His wife and children? His sister-" The young woman with the green eyes shook her head. "He's been gone almost a year Sherlock, they are starting to move on."

"Oh, you call Mary wearing all black and refusing to leave the house moving on. How about Hamish and Olivia? Hamish skips school and Livy isn't eating or speaking. And how's your wife? Oh, I'm sorry Ex wife? Still drinking herself into oblivion?"

"That was low Sherlock, even for you. And of course Harry is taking it hard, I mean she was there-she was there and it was her-"

" She's an idiot. Now you can do what you've promised to do or you can stay out of my way."

"Fine. But you have to see the moral and ethical implications. Not just that it's wrong but would this be what John wants?"

The tall dark haired scientist had his back to Clara, she could see her words affected him, the way his shoulders stiffened.

"Clara, I have to try." His voice low but Clara caught the emotion behind that reply.

"No one blames you Sherlock. No one blames you or Mycroft or Harry. It was an awful thing. It's life. That is what life is, endless cycles of birth and death. Exits and entrances, love and loss. It's all life. This isn't a fair balance to that. Mary and John both knew what risks he would be taking in his job. It doesn't soften the blow any less. But everyone heals in time." Clara wanted to see John again just as much as everyone else but the dead should be allowed to rest in peace. She felt uneasy about this. "Does Mycroft know-"

"How else do you think I was granted the government funding? And he is in no position right now to stop me. He after all he thought I couldn't do it. He said as much to my face."

Clara gave in, she'd tried, god she tried. The lab had a cold feel to it, the Portal Magnifier hummed ominously in the middle of the room. Several thick cables lead away from the Dalek shaped stand, at the top it held an non reflective oval mirror, one could stand in front of this mirror made of glass and metal but there would be no reflection of the person.

It wasn't just any mirror, this is what created and projected the Portal or Portals. Sherlock wore what looked like a common digital wrist watch, but this too wasn't as it seemed. The watch was tied to the machine; it could open up portals that lead home or into another dimension. Another time where people could be alive or dead, good or bad the possibilities were endless.

All and all this was dangerous. She handed him his special mobile, it in theory was a trans-dimensional way of communication. Somehow Clara thought that they'd be doing less communicating or even texting. Once the genius Scientist got going he lost track of time.

"Alright Clara I will set the machine on auto, I'll be able to activate it from wherever I am with the watch or even the mobile. Don't contact me unless it's an emergency. "

"Right. Just be careful Sir."

The Doctor then started to punch a series of equations and finally ending with the red on switch. The hum of the machine grew, the air tasted of salt and copper. This made Clara think of blood almost immediately, and her stomach turned. This was not a good idea, it all felt so wrong.

Sherlock waited for the mirror 's oval surface to became fluid, and finally a light shot from it's center out behind it like a spot light, and the scientist removed his white lab coat.

He held the image of John in his head, this was the idea, he would find him. It wasn't time travel, he'd tried and failed too many times, that's how he stumbled on the dimensional machine. The blue light became brighter the closer he came to it, reaching in with a hand he could feel cold like testing the waters of a swimming pool. In fact it was a liquid like feeling, without a look back he stepped in.

Clara watched the machine shut down, and the Doctor was gone. "good luck idiot." She sighed, receiving a text almost immediately.

"I don't believe in luck. Don't wait around for me. Just lock the lab."

"Where are you?" she texted back.

"London." Was his reply, Clara sighed heavily and did exactly as she was told.