SWAT Kats: The Case of the War Drum
Chapter 1: Feral's Crazy Decision
T-Bone and Razor were just returning from their current mission when a call came on Razor's pager. "Oh, gosh!" he exclaimed. "Do we have to take care of another problem?"
"I don't know, buddy," T-Bone replied. "Either that or she's just calling to congratulate us. Besides, there she is." He motioned down to the runway where Mayor Manx and his loyal but overly suspicious deputy, Calico Briggs (better known as "Callie" by her peers) were standing with Commander Ulysses Feral, in addition to Ann Gora, Jonny K., and some other news crew staffers. Al Gorshon, the helicopter pilot, was there to act as a witness.
When the SWAT Kats landed the Turbokat inside the secret area below the scrap yard they worked at after having been expelled from the Enforcers (by an error really to the fault of Ulysses), they returned to the area where everyone was. Callie was the first to speak after T-Bone acknowledged her.
"What's your problem now, Miss Briggs?" he asked. "We got your signal."
"Sorry about that," Callie apologized. "I accidentally hit it that time. False alarm."
"I see. So, what's the occasion?"
"I think Commander Feral should answer that." Everyone turned towards the commander, and Jonny began to roll tape.
"This is Ann Gora for Kat's Eye News," Ann began. "We're here at the scrap yard that is now headquarters to the SWAT Kats and where Commander Feral has made a shocking decision that no one, not even Deputy Mayor Briggs, expected. So, what is the choice, sir?" (Over two billion viewers were watching this by the way, and were soon applauding the commander.)
"SWAT Kats," Ulysses began, "the decision is very simple. My attitude towards you has changed. You two really are righteous, and I am wicked. I wanted you arrested and unmasked for the sole purpose of being angry over how many times you have made me and my Enforcers—except for my Sergeant1 and my niece, Felina—look incompetent. Now we also had Lt. Commander Steele doing a terrible job, but that is a different story. No longer am I going to attempt to do stuff like that. I finally have mustered up enough courage to respect you for who you are and what you do. Besides, I was tired of arguing with Miss Briggs about it anyway because the general public did side with her after all. And to think I thought you two were troublemakers."
"But you were the only one in the whole city thinking that," said Razor sympathetically.
"Yeah, well, I get that now. Oh, gosh. I have to undo what I did. But how?"
"Well, Razor and I forgive you for everything," T-Bone replied. "There must be something you can do."
"I must say myself this is the best thing that's happened to me and the whole city since my last game of golf!" interrupted Mayor Manx. "We finally have a truce on this deal."
"I'll second that," echoed Callie. "The mayor and I officially pardon you for any charges we ever pressed, that is, if we ever pressed any charges."
"I don't remember you ever doing that to me, but at least we can now focus on other threats more intently," Ulysses replied. "I know for a fact Dark Kat is still at large and the Pastmaster is dead. But what about the others?"
"I'm not quite sure, but I know for a fact that Hard Drive lost his surge coat while investigating a dumpster and has since surrendered," Razor replied. "I know. Awkward!"
"Yes, it is awkward," said Ulysses. "I must admit Hard Drive was the only villain I couldn't contain, though most of the time it was Dark Kat's doings, since his hideout was found to be directly underneath the very cell I imprisoned him in. This last time marks the fourth time I have had to call a technician/floor expert to fix the floors. But don't despair, citizens; all the Creeplings of Dark Kat have been exiled to Siberia."
After making her closing remarks, Ann began to pack up. She, Jonny, and Al drove the van over towards the entrance to the salvage yard, where the SWAT Kats were about to make a startling announcement. For their sake, everyone promised to keep it a secret. And believe me, these cats were always true to their word!
"Okay," came Razor's voice from the room he and T-Bone were changing clothes in. "Commander, as a way of satisfying you, you are now going to, as you put it, find out who we SWAT Kats really are. Are you ready?"
"Yes, I am," Ulysses replied.
"You sure you won't tell a soul?" T-Bone added.
"I'm sure. If the word got out on your identities, it is because the Metallikats know about it. But they are dead since I killed them off, so it's a safe secret."2
"Okay, buddy, let's show him," said Razor. The two walked out and revealed themselves as Jake Clawson (Razor) and Chance Furlong (T-Bone), the two pilots who were expelled after disobeying Ulysses's orders to back off and let him handle Dark Kat when they were already locked on target and could have killed him off. A sign of anguish was soon apparent on Ulysses's face.
"Oh, no!" he exclaimed. "Clawson! Furlong! What have I done? What have I done? Oh, what a wretched cat that I am, releasing you from my squad of soldiers/policemen when I should have been the one in trouble!"
"Well, don't y'all remember?" Al interrupted with that Texan style of his. "Y'all did get punished, by all them media staffers anyway."
"At least you got to keep your job," Callie added. "More cats in this town will appreciate you even more now that you have given up."
"I guess so," said Ulysses. "It was nothing more than me being the most stubborn cat around. And personally, Clawson, I hated David Litterbin for the way he made jokes at yours and Furlong's expense, since I do not consider you two something to joke about."
"That I can respect," Jake replied. "Everyone has their own opinion. Besides, the only other well-know one besides you who hated him was Lenny Ringtail, while he was insane, of course."
"Now that that's settled, let's take the picture," a newspaper press reporter spoke up.
"For what? This was a secret," Jonny replied, very confused.
"No, I mean for that story of the two mechanics finally getting all that debt paid off," said the reporter.
"Oops. Sorry," Jonny apologized. The picture was snapped, and Ulysses requested a copy to be given to the Sergeant and to Felina. The deal was made, and soon the group gathered around the TV set to watch "Make Sense of Those Cents."3
1 His name was never revealed and never will be revealed.
2 When Feral killed off the Metallikats' heads in the episode "Metal Urgency."
3 "The Price is Right" in Megakat City.