The Pigtailed God(dess)

Disclaimer: "Ranma ½" was written by Rumiko Takahashi. I am merely a victim of the "Spring of Drowned Nerd."

Formatting Notes: Speech is in double quotes. Thoughts are in single quotes. The narration will refer to Ranma by his current gender. Blah blah blah.

Chapter 1: I Will Go the Distance

Once the gods were plentiful and freely mingled among the mortals. They were our guardians and protectors. They kept peace throughout the lands.

Now they are but few. They are still our guardians, but their visits have become rare. When they do visit, they often remain anonymous to the general public.

Over 100 years ago, there was a great division amongst the gods. Many of them had grown dissatisfied in their benevolent role towards mankind. These gods believed that their godhood gave them the right to conquer and rule over the mortals. This division eventually led to a great war among the gods.

There has never before and never since been such a war in the history of the world. For three years they fought each other viciously, causing innumerable deaths among gods and mortals alike. Finally, all of the remaining gods gathered for one final battle to decide the fate of the world. During this battle, the leader of the rebelling gods, the evil Happosai, was finally struck down by two young but powerful warriors. It is said that Happosai placed a curse on both of his slayers with his dying breaths. With their leader gone, the rebellion lost morale, and only seven managed to escape to parts unknown.

However, the cost of victory was great. Only twelve of our guardians survived whereas there had previously been hundreds.

God and man slowly worked together to rebuild after the war. Due to their small number, the gods had created a form of government among themselves called a direct democracy, wherein everyone had equal say. Inspired by the gods, the mortals modified the idea for their larger numbers to form a great republic, wherein the people would elect representatives called senators to make government decisions.

And so the land once again knew peace. However, the remaining gods worry that the exiled ones might someday return and have made preparations to hopefully prevent the evil ones from succeeding if such an event were to come to pass.

The remaining pantheon consists of the following gods and goddesses:


Patron God of Guards

Patron Goddess of Maidens

Animal Representative: Dragon

This deity may appear in either male or female form. No mortal knows if (s)he is truly a man, a woman, or both. Ranma has a high sense of honor and justice and was one of the two warriors to defeat Happosai. Ranma is also one of the two most powerful of the remaining gods and will not hesitate to prove it if the evil of mankind forces him/her to do so. Ranma is also known for refusing to take any romantic partners. (S)he has long been desired by many suitors of both genders, gods and mortals alike, but Ranma has always spurned their advances. It is thought that (s)he has taken a vow of chastity.


Patron God of Soldiers and Masculinity

Animal Representative: Boar

Ryoga was the other warrior who defeated Happosai. His honor and power are also great, but he is more headstrong and prone to rage. He also has trouble with depression at times due to all the losses suffered by the Great War.


Patron Goddess of Wisdom and the Elderly

Animal Representative: Owl

By far the oldest and wisest of the remaining gods, Cologne is also known as a legendary warrior. Ranma and Ryoga were her personal apprentices, and her power is still on par with Ranma's. It was her leadership on the battlefield that proved indispensable to their victory.


Patron God of Fathers and Politicians

Animal Representative: Eagle

If Cologne was the brains of the battlefield, Soun was the heart. He is highly respected as a great and noble man who cares deeply for his family. He personally buried every one of his many children who perished during the war. He acts as chairman of the Council of the Gods and holds the tie-breaking vote.


Patron Goddess of Mothers and Spirit

Animal Representative: Kangaroo

Kimiko is Soun's wife. She is a very strong-willed and spirited woman. Soun has said that it was her strength and passion that got him through the war.


Patron God of Husbands and Physicians

Animal Representative: Porcupine

Tofu was one of two survivors of the gods' medical corps. His power is great, but he prefers healing to fighting, although he will fight if necessary, particularly in defense of his wife.


Patron Goddess of Wives and Femininity

Animal Representative: Dove

Kasumi is Tofu's wife and the other survivor of the medical corps. She is also the only surviving child of Soun and Kimiko. Unlike her husband, Kasumi is a complete pacifist and would only use her powers for healing and defense during the war. She managed to survive due to the diligence of her husband's protection and care.


Patron Goddess of Businessmen and Craftiness

Animal Representative: Tigress

Shampoo is Cologne's great-granddaughter and an excellent warrior. However, her true strengths lie in cunning and mischief. She may come across as no more than a sexy bimbo, but you would do well not to underestimate her. She served as an excellent spy during the war.


Patron God of Crafters and Scholars

Animal Representative: Mallard

Mousse is extremely intelligent and a Master of Hidden Weapons, most of which he makes himself. He has taken on the role of historian among the gods, as he is a strong believer in the adage that those who don't learn history are doomed to repeat it.


Patron Goddess of Cooks and Farmers

Animal Representative: Cow

Known as the greatest chef in the world, food is Ukyo's life. She even grows many of her ingredients herself. She invented okonomiyaki, one of the most popular dishes in the world.


Patron Goddess of Kunoichi and Stealth

Animal Representative: Chameleon

Known as the "Genius Kunoichi," Konatsu introduced the art of ninjustu to the mortals. Following her teachings, the "Kunoichi Order of Konatsu" was established, an honorable group of female mercenaries who invoke stealth and seduction as much as they do combat.


Patron Goddess of Children and Leisure

Animal Representative: Puppy

Despite being a fully-grown woman, Hinako seems to have never grown up, as she has the interests and attention span of a child. The major exception is in the fact that she is the most amorous of the gods in "mortal affairs," and she has the body to ensure that her "appetite for men" is always satisfied.

Akane had grown up hearing the legends of the gods and the Great War, but she had never met any, and this was her first time asking one for help. However, she was desperate, and this was one of only three remaining options she had to avoid a fate worse than death. She wasn't one to ever consider killing herself, so if this didn't work, she would have to run away and try to find a way to live on her own in another city.

What sort of horrible fate lay before her, you might ask? Akane's mother had sold her hand in marriage to Lord Tatewaki, a rich, delusional idiot who she absolutely despised. Tatewaki had been obsessed with her for years now, never taking "no" for an answer and always coming back for more no matter how many times she beat him up.

Akane supposed she should have expected this turn of events. Her mother, Nabiki, was the richest woman in the city. She only cared about two things, and neither of them was her daughter. She was extremely greedy and obsessed with money. She built her fortune on blackmail, betting pools, and information exchange; and she maintained it and further increased her wealth by buying out promising businesses and making cutthroat decisions against her competitors, while making sure that everything she did was technically legal. There was never any danger of Akane growing up spoiled, though, as she only spent what she needed to spend on her daughter. Marrying Akane off to Tatewaki would not only extract a huge payment from the young lord, but it would also make Tatewaki a valuable ally in future business dealings.

Nabiki's other great love was sex, as she was also the city's biggest slut. As long as you had the money, she would put out for anyone male. She had sworn to never marry, as not only would her husband gain control over her fortune, she would also be expected to remain sexually faithful to a single man, which she could not accept. Akane knew it was hopeless to even start looking for whom her father might be.

It was with disgust at her mother's lifestyle that Akane had long ago sworn to herself to always be honest with others and that the only man she would ever sleep with would be her husband. Unfortunately, even though she was very attractive and desired by many, she had yet to find any man even close to being worthy of marriage. Most of the single young men she knew were disgusting perverts who were only interested in her body, not who she was. The rest were turned off her strong will, sharp tongue, and quick temper. They wanted someone would act as a meek, submissive housewife.

As a result, she was now 19 years old and had never had a boyfriend or even a first kiss. Most young women at the time married between the legal age of 16 and 18, and even those who hadn't married that young had had at least one lover or one-night-stand. A 19 year old maiden was almost unheard of, and her childhood friends Yuka and Sayuri liked to tease her that she was becoming an old maid. They had both lost their innocence at 14 and married their husbands Hiroshi and Daisuke at 16, although they at least had only been with whom they eventually married. Akane, however, was saving herself for love and marriage, and there was no way she was giving herself to someone like Tatewaki.

It was with these thoughts that she made her way late at night to the Temple of Ranma. If anyone could both understand and save her, it was the legendary virgin god(dess). She had long felt a shared connection to Ranma, and she liked to cheer herself up after being chased by perverted boys by reading legends of gods and goddesses who had tried and failed to win Ranma before the Great War, such as the perverted ice skater Mikado or the tea ceremony specialist Sentaro. Even after the war, Ranma was to this day being pursued by Ukyo and Shampoo.

Normally, it would be dangerous for a woman to travel alone at night. Those who couldn't avoid doing so would disguise themselves as men. However, Akane was no normal woman. One of the few good things her mother had done for her was to pay for her to take martial arts lessons. Nabiki had thought it wise to have a loyal bodyguard she didn't have to pay and often used Akane as such, while knowing that her control over her daughter's livelihood kept Akane from turning against her. Akane loved martial arts, and she turned out to be an amazing prodigy. She had eventually surpassed her own sensei and was undefeated in several underground tournaments in which her mother had made her compete for the prize money. Some of her opponents went so far as to claim that her strength seemed superhuman at times. In fact, she had been attacked by a group of bandits during this very trip, who were now lying unconscious on the side of the road.

Having reached her destination, Akane went inside and removed her traveling cloak. She brushed back her long, dark blue hair as she looked up at the giant statue of Ranma, lit up by the temple's oil lamps. The left half of the statue was of his male form, which then transposed into her female form on the right half. Both halves maintained Ranma's cocky grin, strong eyes, and signature pigtailed hairstyle.

Akane placed incense in the burners on either side, lit them with matches, then knelt down in her simple dress to pray. She poured out her soul to Ranma, begging for his/her help as tears streamed from her eyes.

All of a sudden, she felt a hand on her arm. Surprised, she stood up and turned around to come face-to-face with a man with the deepest pair of blue eyes she had ever seen. The man's face was filled with shock as he stared back. A few seconds later, a huge grin broke out on his face.

Without warning, the man had wrapped her in a tight embrace. "Akane, it's you!" he exclaimed. "After all these years, I've finally found you."

Akane didn't know what to say. How had this strange man known her name, and why had he been looking for her? There was one thing she knew she had to do, though. There was no way she was going to let this man keep hugging her like this. "Aaahhh! Pervert!" she shouted in anger, as she drove her knee into the man's groin. The man let go and staggered backwards in pain. Akane followed up with a vicious right cross with enough strength to send the man flying into the temple wall.

Akane picked up her cloak and started for the front door in disgust when she noticed that the man was somehow getting to his feet. That was impossible! Nobody could still be conscious after a hit like that! Akane began backing away in fear and then fell on her behind as the impossible happened once again. The man went through some kind of physical transformation, as he became shorter and curvier, and his hair color shifted from black to red. Two large bumps appeared on his chest. Akane looked back into the now feminine face that contained the same eyes and realized that the man had somehow turned into a woman. "D***, that hurt" she complained in a new soprano voice, "but I guess I should've expected such a reaction from a young woman who came ta pray for help at my temple."

At these words, Akane's mind finally clicked. She looked between the woman across the room and the statue and knew there was no mistake. 'Oh, no! What have I done?!' she thought. 'I've attacked a god! She's going to kill me and send me straight to h***!'

Akane scrambled to her knees and began begging for her life. "Oh, Great Ranma, I'm so sorry! Please don't kill me! I didn't mean to hurt you! It was a horrible mistake!"

Ranma chuckled at this pathetic display. "Why would I kill ya? Ya ain't done nothin' wrong. I wouldn't wanna strange man huggin' me, neither. Now stop your grovelin'. You're embarrassing yourself."

Akane took a deep breath and stood up. "Thank you, Master Ranma. You're too kind. Will you help me get out of my engagement with that fool Tatewaki?"

"Oh, I can do better than that, Akane," Ranma replied with a smile as she walked towards her. "You have no idea who ya really are. Like I said, I've been lookin' for ya for years."

"What do you mean?" asked Akane, obviously confused.

"You're one of us," revealed Ranma. "Your real parents are Soun and Kimiko."

Akane's eyes went wide, and her brain shut down from overload. She collapsed in a dead faint. Ranma, expecting this possibility, rushed forward and caught her before she hit the ground.

When Akane woke up, she found her cloak wrapped around her and her head resting in Ranma's lap. Ranma, meanwhile, was leaning back against her own statue. Remembering what she was told before passing out, she sat up with a jolt. "Is it true?" she asked in an emotionless voice. "Am I really a-a goddess?" She turned around to face Ranma and gulped as she waited for the answer.

"Well," replied Ranma as she nervously scratched her head at the base of her pigtail. "We're not so much gods and goddesses as we are a more advanced race of beings. "Personally, when I hear the word 'god,' I think of someone both immortal and omnipotent and who has direct control over mortals' lives. We are none of that. We've got limits to our abilities, we can't force nothin' on humans that they can't do ta each other, and not only can we be killed, but we have natural limits to our lives as well. Basically, we age at the same rate as humans for our first 20 years, an' then we age gradually for a total lifespan of about a thousand years. For example, my human age is about 28 compared to my actual age of 140. We pretty much just let the humans believe what they wanna rather than goin' through the headache of tryin' to explain the whole concept to everyone."

"So do you have a name for your people then?" asked Akane curiously.

"Don't forget, it's not just 'my' people but 'your' people as well. Anyway, we don't have any official name, but we call ourselves Nerimians after our hidden city of Nerima. We've only rebuilt a small portion after the destruction of the Great War, but you'll be amazed at what we do have when I take you home tomorrow after we sort things out here."

'Home,' thought Akane. 'Tomorrow, I'll have a new home and new parents.' This thought made her think of something else she needed to ask. "So, if I'm one of you, why was I left here? Didn't my parents want me?"

Ranma sighed. "Yes, of course they wanted you, but somethin' happened, and you needed ta be hidden for your own safety. I placed you in the care of a shrine with a trusted priestess named Kikyo, but when you were three years old, I was summoned to my temple by a weeping Kikyo, who informed me that you had been abducted by an unknown person. I've searched for ya whenever I could ever since then, hoping that you were still alive, but I had no clues, an' I can only confirm that someone is a Nerimian by touchin' them directly. I never thought I would find ya like this."

Akane grabbed Ranma's hand in her own and looked her in the eyes. "What happened when I was a baby? Please, I need to know."

Ranma took a deep breath and began the tragic story. "First of all, ya need to understand that our city was in ruins after the war. We were in much worse shape than the humans, an' there were only a dozen of us left. Nevertheless, we felt it was our duty to also help the humans rebuild after draggin' 'em into our war. Worst of all, we feared the return of the last seven Dark Ones while we were still weak. It took decades before we felt secure enough to raise children, but we finally thought we were ready, and Kimiko soon became pregnant with you."

"Somehow, the Dark Ones heard about the pregnancy an' made plans to stop it. I'm in charge of security for what's left of Nerima, and I was one day shocked to discover an alert that one of the Dark Ones, Kodachi the Black Rose, had entered Nerima and was headed straight for Soun's and Kimiko's house. Kimiko was over eight months pregnant and wouldn't be able ta defend herself. I went straight there but found I was too late: Kodachi had already come and gone, an' Kimiko was dead with throwing knives in her heart and abdomen, attacks that would've been easily sensed and defended against if she wasn't so heavily pregnant." At this point, Akane burst into tears at the news of her mother's death.

"You can take comfort in the fact that at least she died instantly," Ranma continued. "Obviously, we decided not to inform the humans of Kimiko's passing. We didn't wanna cause panic with the news that the Dark Ones were active. Anyway, imagine my surprise when Dr. Tofu emerged from the bathroom with a crying newborn baby. Apparently, even though she wasn't due for two more weeks, Kimiko had gone into quick labor only a couple of hours earlier. In the rush, only Dr. Tofu had been informed of what was happening. Once you were born, along with the afterbirth and cutting the cord, Dr. Tofu asked Kimiko for a name for her new daughter. Kimiko told him that she and Soun had decided on the name 'Akane' for a girl."

"Dr. Tofu then took you into the bathroom for your first bath, at which point Kodachi arrived and attacked from the bedroom window. Dr. Tofu sensed what was happening but had no time to do anything about it. He finished washing you and peeked out the door ta make sure Kodachi was gone. When I arrived a few seconds later, he revealed himself. Me an' Tofu quickly agreed that ya needed ta be hidden until ya were old enough to learn how ta defend yourself. We also realized that the Dark Ones had some unknown method of obtaining info from Nerima to have known about the pregnancy in the first place. Therefore, I immediately left Nerima with you under the guise of searchin' for Kodachi, while Tofu told the others that both Kimiko and the baby had been killed. We would then never speak of you again until it was time ta bring ya home."

Akane couldn't take it anymore and buried her head in Ranma's neck as she cried even louder. Ranma held Akane in her arms as the girl cried herself to sleep. "Sleep tight, Akane," said Ranma softly as she leaned back to get some sleep herself. "We've got a long day ahead of us tomorrow."

Author's Notes: So this came to me as sort of a cross between Disney's "Hercules," "Star Wars," and the "Percy Jackson" books with the "Ranma ½" cast. What do you think? Remember, if you leave a signed review, I'll give you a sneak peak of some information (but not any real spoilers) I have planned for this story if I continue it.

Yes, Konatsu is still male in this universe. The "mortals" have merely mistaken him for female, just as pretty much everyone does in the manga.

There are no surnames for either "gods" or "mortals" in this universe, which is why I refer to Kuno as Tatewaki.

If you're curious, the technology level is set for medieval Europe among the "mortals," while Nerima runs on a sort of steampunk technology that uses ki instead of steam for a power source.